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(NOTE: FOLLOWING NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY XD Thanks to xObsi for a few of these ideas-- mainly the ones towards the end, staring with Ninja Rumble)



Ahh, the holidays are fast approaching. Every once in a while I sneak out of my headquarters, and I see the clouds heavy with snow. It's getting a twinge nippier, too. I swear, Noah-sama has to put heating in soon, or he'll have a collection of frozen teammates. My room is the coldest, being towards the bottom end of the hideout. I don't get any sort of heat down here, and I have to depend on blankets and the likes just to keep from freezing half to death.

That's it. Next meeting I'm putting a suggestion in the box for some sort of heating.

I've been pondering what last Christmas was like, back when I was still a part of Shibusen. Those were fun times. I can't say they were the best (Azusa Yumi kicked me in the back of the head several times for me singing Christmas carols too loud), but I had fun.

This year...Christmas is going to be horrid. Ever since I joined Noah-sama, I realized that my Holidays are going to be spent alone, save for the company of my insane or masochistic comrades.

I miss a lot of people back at Shibusen, especially my family...

WELL! Since I have a lot of time in my room (I have it barricaded with, oh, around 20 planks of wood, a lead pipe, a dresser and other odds and ends to keep Giriko out when he's snockered on Noah's spiked eggnog), I start to come up with some weird ideas.

Christmas is a mostly a holiday for toys now, right? What if...I got a patent for some ideas and made my own line of toys~? Ah! I'd be a genius! And, perhaps, Jordon would get to play with something of his daddy's creation all the way back home...

Ah, well, I came up with a few ideas, but nothing legit. I'm wondering if they could even pass as toys.


1. BLAIR BARBIE
Who needs a skinny, totally boring Barbie to play with when you have a replica of Blair? She doesn't mind her hair brushed, her clothes picked out for the day, or even huggled and taken to bed when you sleep. I can see this toy line extremely popular with the men rather than the ladies out there... Oh, this little beaut comes with plenty of pumpkins and cat n**. FUN FOR ALL AGES~! Now comes with voice track (with fun phrases for the men!) and purring noises.

2. CLUE: "WHO KILLED BJ-SAN?" EDITION
Who on earth killed the coffee addict? In this edition remake of the classic board game, as the player you need to find out who chopped the man up into bits. Was it the mad scientist, Stein-hakase? Was it his passionate old flame, the endearing Marie? Was it the horrid Kishin God himself? A Witch? Or...could it have possibly been a certain priest? Heeehhh....

3. DISSECTION
What? Operation? Pfft, who needs that when you have Stein-hakase's favorite game, dissection~! Instead of aiding your little board game man by healing him, you get to learn how to dissect and tear apart using your fake little (screaming) man! How fun is that, kids~?

4. WHACK A GOPHER
Whack, whack, whack a...Gopher? Yes, kids, it's time to wack that loveable (but sometimes equally as goofy as me) Grigori, Gopher-san~! With your heart shaped mallet, it's your turn to whack away at him until his love for Noah-sama is satisified. Comes with a free replica of Eibon, the book of Noah!

5. SHIBUSEN IDOL: 12TH CENTURY HITS
....O...Oh...w..well... I guess SOME white mongoose...rat...weasel things need their debuts too. For kids hoping to aspire up the ranks to sing (or to simply make their parents go insane), get this for them! ...Comes with... free tylenol.

6. GIRIKO'S BEER BOTTLE TARGET PRACTICE
Collected from the vaults of Giriko's beer drinking binges, these actual beer bottles that he drank are used in this classic remake of the "milk bottle toss" game seen at those cheesy carnivals. Take a ball and throw it hard! Perhaps you'll make them shatter and teach that heretic to take it easy on his drinking.

7. SHIBUSEN KOMBAT
Whoa, there. What's better than two Gods duking it out on the crumbling parched earth of Death City, Nevada? Yeah. I thought so-- there's nothing better than seeing these two behemoths beat each other up. Asura, the Kishin, or Demon God, and Shinigami-sama, the Grim Reaper... which side are you on?

8. MEMORY: THE DATING VERSION
We all know that Spirit is quite the ladies man (trust me, I've seen it first hand), but how well can you be like him? Now it's time for you to think like Spirit, picking out who's who. In this rendition of the game Memory, you must pick the cards from memory and pair the ladies of his past love life together. Special version of this game (fifteen bucks more), comes with a doll of Spirit and the special Kami cards~!

9. STACK 'EM TOWERS
Time to test your might! Are you as skilled as Death the Kid? Your goal: build the biggest tower out of the given blocks and sticks, but with an added twist. The tower must be symmetrical. If it falls, or end up unsymmetrical in any way, somewhere Kid-kun will break down into convulsions (and we don't want that, now, do we?)

10. MARIE-SENSEI LICENSED PUNCHING BAGS
What better fun to release your pent up frustration on your fellow Deathscythe over and over again than to punch her with these fun toys? For a limited time they come with toliet stickers to adorn them with. Warning: CAN HURT PEOPLE, SO UNLESS YOU WANNA GET CHASED, OR BEAT UP LATER, DON'T USE THEM ON LIVING PEOPLE.

11. WITCHY FROGGER
Hey, kids! It's up to you to help Eruka/Elka frog run safely trough the traffic around Shibusen. The object of the game is to keep her away from Medusa's pet snake as it tries to infect her with more madness. Can you save her in time? Think fast, or be witchy frog roadkill!

12. NOAH: HUMAN CATCHER
Pokemon? Yeah. Know of them? Cute fuzzy things. Forget them! Kids, here's the cool game! A spoof off of Pokemon, it's your turn to be in the shoes of the aspiring maniac, Noah, as he takes his book and moves around the world, collecting live humans and stuffing it into his version of pokeballs, his book of Eibon. Can you survive his enemies, the Shibusen Anti-collection Squad, and learn how to Catch All Them Humans? FIND OUT WHEN YOU PICK UP THIS GAME!

13. NOM, NOM, SOULS~!
Oh no! Maka's in trouble! Loosing all their 99 Kishin egg souls, she has to stuff her scythe partner, Soul, full of those yummy red Kishin souls until he's strong enough again! Race against the timmer as you shoot little red balls into his mouth. Hurry! He's starving!

14. NINJA RUMBLE: BIG STAGE FOR A BIG MAN!
Can you prove to be the strongest American ninja out there in Nevada? Do you think you have what it takes to beat the man who was supposed to have passed God? IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO RUMBLE! You must fight your way through senseless baddies. The final showdown? More epic than Sephiroth. Black Star will me waiting for you, his chainscythe weapon in hand and used as a makeshift mic...

15. SHINIGAMI-SAMA "CHOP 'EM" FOAM HAND
Want to install fear in your friends? NOW YOU CAN! Everyone fears, and respects, the infamous "Shinigami Chop". With these soft, foam replica hands of the goofy Death God himself, you can be chopping away at heads in no time! WARNING: best not to use this one people you want to keep as friends for life.

16. THE CHOPPIN' BOOK
Ever want to be as cool as Maka Albarn herself? Well, this little toy is just for you! Armed with this, you can make even the strongest enemies wince from a direct noggin' chop with this heavy bound tome. Complete with a Soul Eater bookmark, this little dity is waiting to be in the hands of your rascally children today~!



Ahhh.... I'll end this list for tonight. I'm yawning already. I think my body's gotten too cold again. I always seem to get tired the colder this place gets...

I wonder if these would ever work? If I made some money, maybe I could get out of here?

...Oh man, I hear Noah-sama coming. I better get going! Night, Journal... Hope my family and friends back in Shibusen are safe.


-Justin Law