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This Thanksgiving week has been a handful of Hell. My depression is killing me and I'm haveing more grusome horrific nightmares than before. Sure I got to see my friends and get out of the house but it doesnt mean much knowing that horrific phantoms await you in your slumber. Im too afraid to even go get a glass of water for fear i might have a horror come to life and kill me. Plus I lost a friend Josh cus i was a stupid crazy homo :'( Yes I'm ranting on a Gaia Journal but i dont know what else ro do. My only comfort item was a small panda I hugged to keep me sane and I left that back in my dorm. All these horrific memories and nightmares are driving me to the brink... I have thought about self-mutilation like i used to do sad Im praying but it doesnt seem to help right at the moment. I JUST CANT SLEEP!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!! crying crying crying crying