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Adara's, thoughts, stories and rambles.
Who is actually reading these?
It is time for my story to end, even if it's the beginning
Rolling wet yellowish green hills stretched on forever, every direction, as far as the eye could see. I guess it could be pretty, but not to me, to me I see death and pain that shouldn’t have been. This was all wrong, why did this have to happen? What was the point? Just to gain land and reputation? No. couldn’t have been that. Then what? What was the god damned point of it. I’m frustrated. I’m hurting. I’m hungry, but most of all, I’m broken. I look up and all I see is a sea of light gray swirling with darker of the same shade spewing out rain like the tears of my eyes. Just like its desperately trying to cleanse the earth of the red that mixed with the yellowish green, my tears are trying to wash away the sins I have made along with the dirt and blood on my cheeks. Just like what’s on my face, the sins won’t go away so easily. Nor do I want them to as I don’t want to forget this day. I do, don’t get me wrong, I really do, but then I would forget the ones that were important to me.

It was never supposed to be this way. I scream out as hard and as loud as I could in pain but no one will hear as no one is around to hear me, but that doesn’t stop me, it makes me just scream harder, louder. Am I calling to the ear of man or to the very gods that are all around us? Why did I have to bear this burden? Why do I have to stay when I just want to go with my friends? Who decided my fate and not even let me have a chance to live how I wanted to. Who’s to say I even wanted to fight in the first damn place. I hate them, I hate them all, they will all pay.

Lowering my eyes from the heavens my eyes darken, my face turns to stone as a slight shadow from hatred takes hold of it, someone will pay for the suffering of this day. Slowly I arise, my weapons in hand, I am dead inside, dead as they will be when I am done with them. I do not say goodbye to my fallen comrades that I buried, that would showed I cared and that was not apart of me anymore. All that is left is a heartless warrior that cared not of what was slain by my sword, just as long as it was dead. The only thing spared was animal as they did nothing to my fate, they had no say in what happened, therefore they are safe. Even child wasn’t safe as they could have been connected somehow to the ones that decided that this monstrosity should pass. Walking away without looking back as my forefathers have done, it is time that my story comes to an end, even if it’s the beginning, somehow I will get my peace, even if I have to kill the world for it. This is my story and I’m sorry that it had to come to be. By the gods, someone forgive me for what I’m going to do, for I know not what else to do. Some one save me!

The townspeople all watched me as I entered their little establishment, could one blame them? Here is a hooded figure that head is a little too low, shoulders a little too squared off, and seemed to have no real purpose to their walk? I hear their whispers, its like grinding of stones to my ears, I just keep walking though, as much as I want to destroy them, I need them for food and supplies, however, when I’m done there will be not one left to tell of my story or of me, just the animals that will eventually grow too hungry and devour them in hunger and the buildings that hold their dead rotting carcasses for the birds. As it is I see the inn/pub waiting for me like a mother would with outstretched hands welcoming me home. Begrudgingly I walk in and see there was a table in the middle of the room. The whole dark corner thing was overrated, besides I could sense what was around me, no use letting a perfectly good table go to waste, eh?

Dinner was quiet and nice for once, maybe they will be spared, we’ll see. Getting a room for the night I laid down and sleep came too soon, I wasn’t ready for it nor the memories that came up. The laughter, the love, the joy and the sorrow that brought us together, that made us family. It was once said ‘the hardships and pain of life makes bonds stronger. When you feel your weakest you are actually stronger as you have others to depend on.’ that jack a** was right. When they were around when I was tired, pained and ready to give up my team would be there to lift me up to make me a better person, want to try harder and get things right. They complimented my way of being, as I did theirs, we make it all okay and worth living and fighting for. Now they were gone. Flying up I guess I woke people up, for as I looked over I saw it was time for me to leave, there was my dagger snuggly in the door, blood seeping through. Tsk. I was going to leave this town alone too. Tis a shame, oh well that would go back on what I said I would do now wouldn’t it. Can’t have that.

Walking from a burning town, animals scattering from their cooking dinner, I simply adjust the pack on my back full of supplies, then with my fore fingertip and my thumb, I just pull the hood of my cloak down a bit hiding from the rain that was again beating me, trying to make me break at it’s will. Why does it always rain anymore? Is it wanting to flood? Would it? Would I even survive that? Sighing I just disappear in the woods looking for the death of others, but most importantly my own death. Why couldn’t it happen a bit sooner? Why couldn’t I have been with them? Angrily I just blend in with the shadows that surround me in the thick forest looking for either my next victim, my salvation, or anything that could possibly take the memories of who I am away. Except with that last one, would I want to know who I was, so it would be a vicious cycle, doomed to repeat itself over and over? I do not know it, like the future, but none-the-less, I will find the answer to this curse, I must, who I am depends on it.





 
 
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