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So i've ben thinking a lot lately about what i want to do with my life...i'm not really sure..everything i thought i stood on strong ground with is suddenly revealing itself to be very appealing. Like marriage. After my parents divorce, i was pretty sure that i would never marry anyone. Ever. But now look at me, im 17 and designing a brides gown!
I also got a nother letter frm carthage today and it only mkaes it seem that much farther out of my reach. I feel like i'm fitting into that stereotype of "I dream of going to that art school in Paris, but im dirt poor". which is kind of funny since i only started drawing freshmen year, but its like i've found my calling in the field of art. I know im not that good yet, but i cant stop, i have to make this what i do in life. Writing, drawing, illustration, theatre (well i know i'll never be anything BIG for thatre, but i know i'm going to do community theatre after school at least ).
At least i have on ething figureed out altogether. I've finaly let go of my ex boyfriend. For the longest time i felt guilty about cheating on him, but a few weeks ago i found out he cheated on me with one of my friends while we were going out. Its like a dead weight just fell off my shoulders. Sure i was mad and it stung a bit at first, but really she did me a favour. Now that i know, i dont feel guilty and not one piece of my heart belongs to him anymore, not one shred. He may have been my first love, but he difinitely isnt my true love. That i've found and am so happy for. He's the real deal and anthing that gets in my way of staying with him will get trample and bludgeoned to death.I honestly dont care about him anymore. I tried forever to keep him as a friend, but i reaized that i didnt really want to and that i only wanted what we had baefore. he had me disillusioned and im so glad that stupid smokescreen got lifted.
On a less emo note, i cant wait for No Brand Con in april! ^^
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