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i see your entry.
i see that you dont want to talk to me anymore.
and im ok with that to an extent.
i wish it wasnt so hard.
i wish we as humans were not so emotionally attached.
i wish we could still be friends, as cliche as that sounds.

im sorry that i am nothing but a failure to you.
im sorry that i cannot be happy or content with faults that refuse to be fixed.
im sorry that i am impatient.
i wish i were better equipped to handle you.

when i look at people now, im thinking, "would they make a good parent?"
im not looking at people for their money.
im not looking for an easy escape.
i want a future with someone open minded and goal oriented that can help me provide a good environment for my children.
in all actually, we just wouldnt work in that aspect.
i dont think you would make a good parent in the state youre in.
and i couldnt live with that.
i couldnt settle for that.
im tired of settling.
and the emotional damage and all the little things in between, there was just no hope there anymore.

you are a wonderful person, and i love you.
i miss talking to you and your company.
im sorry that i wasted your time thinking that i could fix you again.
i shouldnt have done that.
but i did, and theres nothing i can do to make it better now.

i hope that you are ok.
i hope you discover yourself and make yourself happy one day.
i hope you can see what happened for what it was and stop being so bogged down by it.
its not that im hearless, i just dont dwell on things.
i hope that you can do the same one day.

as i said before, if you ever want to talk again, if you ever heal, you know my number. you know how to get ahold of me.
i will never ignore you.