As i lie awake
I contemplate All the mistakes
In my life, I've made
I am full of only fear and doubt
as far as I can see
Only one way out
of my everlasting misery
slowly I think in bed
about the means to my end
I go though three plans in my head
All from which my body cannot mend
A bullet will be quick
and offer the means
to an eternity of bliss
With no suffering
Bleeding to death from a punctured nerve
after slitting my wrists
will offer rest
with the pain i deserve
But after thinking
I finally decide
on my method
of suicide
To overdose on painkillers
will be fun
my mind watches
as my body numbs
I soon become an empty shell
A lifeless corpse
With my soul in hell
Death shall be kind
No more remorse
To end my life is no easy task. for those i leave behind i will surely miss, But difficult it is to go on the next day. Alive and well yet my soul in despair and marked as a target of hell. I'm in denial. I'm in a deep pit of water and i'm drowning, I'm between two walls that grow steadily closer and closer, Teasing me with slow torturous pain. Yet I have reason to love the life which has been called mine. Many to love and much to see smile yet I know that their love is only temporary. that one day it will die out like the embers of the fire that eats me alive. That day seems to grow closer with every exasperated sigh and rolling of eyes. for I know they hate me, i know because There is no one who could possibly love a pathetic piece of flesh and blood as me. I'm only here for you're entertainment. A temporary showcase of despair. I know that as I type this i sound like i wallow in my own self pity. that is as pathetic as i can get,is it not? to sulk and frown at my own pathetic existence in this world. the same world where such beauty and intellect roam. i am not one of the beautiful nor of the intellectual, therefore I have no place in this world. I have no reason to call it mine. If I beg on my knees, will you pull the trigger? For I am afraid to die alone.
You asked of me a promise. To wait another day. you said you'd find a way to end my everlasting pain. I hope i'm not mistaken in trying to fight this, For I have fallen in love with the sweet kiss of love. As long as i have something to hold onto, i think i have a chance.
The best people are MAD
Hearts have often bled from words that have gone unsaid
By the time you finished reading this, you’ll realize that you’ve wasted five seconds of your life
 Ritsuka Uchiha 182 · Thu Mar 18, 2010 @ 04:01am · 0 Comments |
