Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

i was born with a father and a mother..
4months later God ripped my father from my crib..
leaving a mother to care for a seven year old and a baby..also a cat and two birds..
as her daughters grew..and the birds pasted away..and the cat got older...
a new arrival appeared..it was a dog..a wild one..
chewed his way through doors..ripped up clothes..ran off many times..
but it wasnt his fault for being bad..since his last owners were awful to him..
lefted him in a cage all day..outside through all the seasons..
alone, in a dark cramped cage..until he came to us..
at first he didnt know if we were allies or enemies..
but our love for him..made his eyes open to see that we cared for him greatly..
i was young when we got him..he soon became my best friend..a great companion..
he was a great dog..
always gave kisses..loved hugs...friendly to all..would lay with you whenever sad...
for he could always tell when you were overcome with great saddness..
and be by your side to comfort you..
always seemed to smile..very rarely barked..
when he thought my sister and i were in danger from being attacked by some guy that was running towards us with his arms up in a threatening manner..
our dog charged forward and jumped up..bit him in the armpit..
for he was protecting us from danger..he cared for our safety...for our feelings..
and loved us as much as we loved him..
but i think i loved him more then my mother and sister..
for he wasnt just my dog, my pet, or my best friend..he was my father..
my false father..
a strange replacement for the empty space my real father should have filled..
since never got to know my father..never got to know what one was like..
so Tanner my dog was the only father i have ever known..and will ever know..
yes most might think it strange that i thought my dog was my father..
but i dont care if you think me weird, strange, a freak, or whatever..
for you cant imagine what it is like not to have a parent..
the only way you can understand is if you have lost one or both..
so yes i am strange..but it is because my whole life a piece of me has been missing...
the never knowing of what could be..i dont even know if i would have loved my true father..
for how can you love a person you dont even know...
even if he was your father...
but Tanner i loved so much..to me he was and will always be my father..
when i think of the name "father" the first thought is of him..my dog..
but then i think of my real father..but it is hard since wouldnt eve know his face..
if not for pictures of the past..but pictures are nothing compared to the memory of the actual person..face..
Tanner was always there for all of us..
many nights he comforted me..and when he got older..and weaker..
so weak he couldnt even jump on my bed anymore..i would then comfort him...
laying on the floor with him..or even pull my matress down so he could lay on something comfortable...
but he started to fade...couldnt even stand..
so he stayed laying in the leaving room..i slept the night out there with him..
knowing i would lose yet another father..
we had to make that sad decision..to put him down..
i cryed all day for my dog..for my best friend..and for my father..
a false father..
to most but the only real father i have ever known..
and will ever know..

writer's note:
i lost one father without knowing him..but gained another..in a different shape in a different speices..but to me i didnt care what he was..he was my father to me...the only one i knew...Tanner was the greatest dog ever..and i wanted to honor his memory by writing this journal entry about him..its not a poem really..just a short writing about him..and us..our family...i wrote this on 3-2-10 when was coming home from school my thoughts went to him while on the bus..of course tears ran down my face when i thought of the ending of this writing..when describing how he weakened..and the night he fell and couldnt stand anymore...i was so sad i knew if he didnt get up by morning i was going to lose him..part of me wanted him to fall asleep and never wake up so the pain would end and so we didnt have to make the desicion..but he didnt..so we took him to the vet they said he probably wouldnt walk again but there was a surgry that might have helped (the doc said it was a far chance of working)..so we said goodbye..i said goodbye to my father..my best friend..my everything...