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this is to a friend that is no longer more..
i wish to say my apology..
i doubt though you or anyone will read this but it needs to be said anyways..
im sorry..im sorry for the words i spoke or written..
they were harsh and cruel..
but they had to be..
for only then would you listen to me..
for when i spoke to you my way..being nice and kind..you became unreal..
you tried to change the past..but the past and present cannot be changed...
so my kind words were getting no where..
so i faked my self..and became cruel and harsh so that you would finally listen to me..
and leave me alone..thats all i wanted you to do..
i didnt want you to be fake or to lie or anything..
i wanted to be lefted alone..alone from you..alone from him..alone from them..
just utterly alone...
but you wouldnt listen..so it called for desperate matters...
i became a fake cruel and harsh so you will get angry enough to listen and obey my words..
and how predictable..because it worked you got so angry you obeyed them..
its funny how you makes sure not to notice me now..
*sighs* who am i kidding its not funny..its sad..overwhelmingly sad..
but in the end it all worked out...im alone...and your happy...
you are back to being you...
so im sorry for my harsh words...but they needed to be said..
so you would hear me...but it took longer then i thought would for you to obey the harsh words...
but alittle you are not...you still dont get the words i told you...
and now i dont know what else to try to make you listen to me...
oh well..i guess...
im sorry...this is my apology...