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Dreams of God
Epic-sounding title aside, this is some pretty interesting stuff.
I have dreamt of God twice. Once when I was really young, like around the age of 13. I remember it vividly because it was such a powerful dream...
It started off at a funeral. Not just any old funeral, MY funeral. I had died somehow. I remember thinking in my dream "What happens now?"
I think it was my strong curiosity at that age of God and religion that inspired this dream. I was in a coffin, physically dead. But my soul was alive and conscious.
Then I started floating. A weird weightless feeling, I just ascended upwards. Kept going past the clouds. Way past the clouds and more clouds. I guess the traditional idea of Heaven and God being somewhere up there had stuck to me.
I was going towards Heaven. It was a massive white and bright sky. I started seeing small glowing things. They sort of had human shape, except they had wings. They were Angels. They were sort of small, but hundreds of them were there. Their faces were just white and clear, but their wings were golden colored.
My inner mind wanted to only do one thing in Heaven. Meet God. And it's like the dream figured it out without me having to even think it. I started floating past the Angels who seemed to open up the path. I was heading deeper into Heaven, towards the king.
God. I don't know what I expected. He was a ******** MASSIVE golden circle that was glowing insanely bright. That was God. He was just glowing in place.
I remember feeling the feeling of being in the presence of something epic, something beyond your control. Something beyond your wildest imagination. It was quite exhilarating, really.
I remember just staring at this God for a few seconds totally awe-struck. Then I woke up. So at age 13, this was my idea of death, the afterlife, and God.
Enter age 17. About a week ago I had a dream of God, but it was no where near as epic. And there are quite a few blank spots that I can't explain. Perhaps they didn't happen in the dream, or I just couldn't recall them after waking up. Ooh, mystery.
So I'm alive and well in this dream. I have sort of the sense that I'm older in the dream. Still a young man, but just sort of more mature and free to do what I want.
Apparently there's some sort of war going on. I remember seeing some innocent people getting killed by the bad side. I remember feeling sick and scared of this horridness that was consuming the world. One theory is that it was the precursor of Armageddon?
Anyway, someone I didn't know told me that I should go see God. He told me almost casually. But I listened without questioning it. I mean it was a chance to ******** meet God! That logic was enough in my dream.
I remember having to travel somewhere super far and really exotic. Some really weird looking hut type shack on top of a small hill. That's where he was. It had quite the Bohemian touch to it.
Now this is weird. I knew, I felt God inside of that hut. But I didn't experience the actual meeting with God in the dream. It's like when a movie skips a scene.
But I know exactly what he told me. It's like I knew it even though I didn't see it happen. Super cool.
I remember a sort of red haze. And I did feel the epicness, of being in the presence of something so massive in power and influence.
I'm a bit concerned with what God told me. God told me that I could/should (unknown) kill the bad people. Specifically the ones involved in the war, the bad side.
He told me I could kill them without fear of punishment. Without fear of sin. I do remember God telling me it incredibly solemnly.
I felt sort of cold afterwards. Like a man who had faced all of adversity. I don't know why I felt that way...Just sort of empty. Then the dream pretty much ended.
What the hell do you take out of this? My mother suggests that this "God" isn't God but an impostor. Specifically Satan. God would never tell one of his creations to kill another, right? What kind of God is that? Promoting killing?
Well, it's interesting to see how my view of God, at least in my dreams, has changed in 4 years. In the past 4 years I've obviously grown a lot physically and mentally. I've experienced a lot of things. Many different kinds of pain, happiness. I've also had time to study many religions before I chose agnosticism.
Interesting, interesting. How can I sleep at night with all these questions left unanswered?
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