Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake boobs... Girl, are you sure you weren't made in China?

I didn't fall, I attacked the floor

The world can't end in 2012, I have a yogurt that expires in 2013

OMG! THERE'S A FLOOD! It's okay. I have a ShamWow!

Aww, that's sweet. Now how many girls have you said that to?

I may look calm, but in my head I've killed you three times

im going to sit back and laugh when karma punches you in the face

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil

A real boyfriend wants a cuddle more than a kiss. A kiss more then making out. Making out more than sex. But theres one thing that he should want to do more than all of those. Change your last name...

*guy dies in movie* Awww...
*dog/cat/animal dies in movie* OMG AWWW!!! sad
*woman dies in movie* That's what you get, b***h.

FIRE ALARM:
6th Grade: OH MY GOD WHAT DO WE DOOO?!
7th Grade: Is it really on fire O__O?
8th Grade: Im taking this...and this and this...
9th Grade: PERFECT TIMING NO TEST TODAY!
11th Grade:Let it Burn!
12th Graders: Yeah i started that...

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, you know you've either done something very right or something very wrong

A good friend takes you to Walmart to buy a pregnancy test, a best friend is standing outside of the bathroom door screaming,"NAME IT AFTER MEE!!"

A friend calms you down but a best friend skips next to you with a baseball bat singing "someones going to get it!"

When guys get jealous, it's actually kinda cute. When girls get jealous, World War III is about to start.