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Crap of Nonsense
Who reads these, honestly? O-o
...My Frontier Story
S.S. Fishpaste
Edmund

Crew:
- Grandpa Chicken Legs
- Person in the Ape suit
- The Mariachi
- Little Kid that stares at you

There's a lot happening in the Gaia world, so expect to encounter all sorts of things. Some encounters will be helpful, and others not so much. Be prepared for anything!

Your luck determines the chance of good or bad things happening. Check the "Crew Info" panel to see how your luck has changed.

Occasionally, you will encounter something that will raise or lower one of your stats. Don't forget that your crew will continue to eat food and lose health in addition to these events.

As you travel, you'll run into some famous landmarks and encounter numerous opportunities to explore. Just be careful, as danger lurks around every corner.

It's up to you to navigate your airship to the jellyfish god - and sometimes it will mean having to make the choice between a long but safe route, or a dangerous shortcut. Choose wisely!

--------------------------------------------------------
While you are sleeping, Edmund somehow captures a huge sack of grunnies and ties them to your ship.

The grunnies drag you at a break-neck speed through the forest before gnawing their way to freedom.


You save 6 hours of travel.

--------------
You find a sign pointing off the main trail labeled "secret shortcut." Do you take it?

Yes, I like adventure.
No, the beaten path is just fine.

You continue on the trail
--------------

Icaiser
Community Member
  • [03/10/17 12:31am]
  • [11/07/15 05:41am]
  • [09/28/13 12:09am]
  • [09/14/13 10:15am]
  • [08/18/13 12:09am]
  • [02/21/13 04:38am]
  • [04/19/11 07:37am]
  • [08/31/10 05:02pm]
  • [08/28/10 04:14pm]
  • [03/03/10 07:10pm]




  • User Comments: [11]
    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Sat Aug 28, 2010 @ 04:32pm


    Ol' Respectable

    This venerable sequoia has withstood thousands of years of floods, forest fires and assassination attempts by radical anti-tree militants. What would you like to do?

    Cut it down for some reason.
    Take only pictures, leave only footprints

    As you admire the tree, you feel your luck improve.


    Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Sat Aug 28, 2010 @ 04:38pm


    The jellyfish demigod sends a minion bearing food.

    You gain 50 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Sat Aug 28, 2010 @ 04:43pm


    A priestess of the jellyfish demigod wants to help you.

    Approach the priestess.

    She uses her healing powers to restore some of Little Kid that stares at you alot's health.


    Little Kid that stares at you alot's health increases significantly.

    -----------------------------------
    Ol' Respectable

    This venerable sequoia has withstood thousands of years of floods, forest fires and assassination attempts by radical anti-tree militants. What would you like to do?

    Cut it down for some reason.
    Take only pictures, leave only footprints

    As you admire the tree, you feel your luck improve.


    Your luck increases slightly. Good things are now more likely to happen on your journey. Hooray!
    ------------

    A girl asks you to help find her lost dog. Do you help?

    Yes.
    No.

    The dog is nowhere to be found, but a bunch of meat is just sitting around nearby.


    You gain 25 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate.
    ------------

    Grandpa Chicken Legs gets a case of ants in the pants. Unfortunately they are dragon ants, the cruel and soulless emperors of the ant world.

    Damn the ants and keep going.

    On the other hand, this proves to be good motivation to get moving.


    You save 6 hours of travel.
    -----------

    Person in the Ape suit tries a new way to tie shoelaces but makes an unforgivable mistake.

    Start untangling Person in the Ape suit.

    Your crew spends hours untangling the knot.


    You lose 3 hours of travel.
    -----------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 25 lbs of food.
    ------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Sat Aug 28, 2010 @ 04:48pm


    Edmund:
    "The bark of this tree can be chewed as a mild stimulant."

    "Don't worry, it's not toxic, addictive or illegal."


    You're initially wary of this substance, but Edmund has allayed your fears.


    Your ship's speed increases slighty. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
    ---------

    You all stop to get matching anchor tattoos, but Grandpa Chicken Legs mishears and gets a unicorn.

    You all have a good laugh at Grandpa Chicken Legs's error.
    The unicorn gang doesn't see the humor in Grandpa Chicken Legs's unauthorized use of their symbol, however, and tears the flesh off Grandpa Chicken Legs's arm.


    Grandpa Chicken Legs's health decreases slightly.
    ----------
    Edmund:
    "I found a ship wrecked in the forest."

    "Looked like it caught fire then crashed while the crew was suffering from bubonic plague and flesh-eating beetles."
    "There was this weird statue in the debris. I'm sure it's not related to their horrific end. I kind of like it."


    Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
    ---------
    Edmund: "This robot I just made will do one of two things."

    "Who wants to bet it doesn't destroy us all?"

    Edmund wins the bet: the robot only runs off with some food to trade for new rims.


    You lose 50 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
    ---------

    Edmund:"I found this gadget in my pants."

    "I think it's from an old hydroponic experiment."
    Edmund's strange device is perfect for your mission.


    You gain 25 loot


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Thu Sep 02, 2010 @ 07:00am


    Ancient Ruined 24-Hour Massage Parlor

    This seedy structure was cataclysmically destroyed some centuries ago. Clearly, it did not meet with a happy ending.

    Go investigate the ruins.
    Continue on the trail.

    Sifting through the ruins, you find an ancient cache of oils and lotions. You lubricate your ship, slightly increasing your speed.


    Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
    -----------------------

    In a fit of hubris, you imagine yourself the equal of the gods themselves.

    You fly too close to the sun.

    You awaken from this horrible dream chastened of your pretensions and more capable of piloting responsibly.

    You save 6 hours of travel.
    -----------------------
    A friendly stranger borrows some loot to show you a magic trick.

    Watch closely.

    Then he does an even better trick and disappears into thin air.


    You lose 25 loot.
    -----------------------
    Little Kid that stares at you alot heard some noises in the hold but is afraid to investigate alone.

    Investigate the hold yourself.

    A bat flies past you head when you open the door and some ammo mysteriously disappears.

    You lose 10 ammo.
    -----------------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Fri Sep 03, 2010 @ 08:11am


    Edmund:

    "I found this gadget in my pants."

    "I think it's from an old hydroponic experiment."

    Edmund's strange device is perfect for your mission.

    You gain 25 loot.
    ---------------------------

    An ogre waves you down to challenge you to an arm-wrestling contest. Do you accept?

    Yes.
    No.

    An ogre is basically an ox standing upright. She pins you in seconds, but admires your gumption and gives you a potion to help you recover.

    Your crew's health improves significantly.
    --------------------------

    Little Kid that stares at you alot finds an unlabeled bottle of pills hidden in an old sock.

    Have Little Kid that stares at you alot test them out.

    Little Kid that stares at you alot gains some health.

    Little Kid that stares at you alot's health increases slightly.
    --------------------------

    Grandpa Chicken Legs has a great idea for a pasta dish.

    You're looking forward to dinner.

    Grandpa Chicken Legs made a very interesting bowl suited for holding pasta out of a bunch of bullets welded together, but no dinner.

    You lose 5 ammo.
    --------------------------

    A ghost appears to you in the night and offers to show you how you die. Do you accept its offer?

    Yes, you can face your fate.
    No.

    The ghost realizes you don't have a DVD player and leaves angry and disappointed.
    --------------------------

    Edmund shows you something cool you can do with ammo: shoot it with more ammo.

    It's even more fun than it sounds.

    You waste ammo watching things explode.

    You lose 5 ammo.
    --------------------------
    Fort Larroquette

    Within the safe walls of Fort Larroquette, a man approaches offering a trade: "Hey pal, wanna barter for some ammo? I found it in my grandmother's attic."

    Trade 25 loot for 10 ammo.
    Continue on the trail.

    You make the trade.

    You gain 10 ammo.
    You lose 25 loot
    --------------------------

    You come across the scene of an airshipwreck from long ago. Trees and plants now grow out of the rotting wooden carcass.

    Explore the ruins.
    Keep going.

    You discover an unopened crate filled with Faunzy's Flutes and spend hours trying to get them to work.

    You lose 6 hours of travel
    --------------------------

    Everyone's bored. The crew wants to have a talent show.

    Tell the crew the only talent you want to see is ship-flying.
    Bust out the costume chest and puppet stage.

    The talent show takes a long time, but you learn a lot about each others' strengths and anxieties.

    Your ship's speed increases slighty. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
    You lose 6 hours of travel.
    --------------------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 125 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 17 ammo.
    Continue
    --------------------------
    EDMUND:
    "I found a ship wrecked in the forest."

    "Looked like it caught fire then crashed while the crew was suffering from bubonic plague and flesh-eating beetles."

    "There was this weird statue in the debris. I'm sure it's not related to their horrific end. I kind of like it."


    Your luck decreases slightly. Bad things are now much more likely to happen on your journey. Oh no!
    --------------------------

    Two crewmembers call shotgun at the same time. How do you settle the dispute?

    Duel.
    Rock, paper, scissors.
    Russian roulette. <==

    Your crew thinks that is a terrible idea and decides they don't have to listen to your orders.


    Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance.
    --------------------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Fri Sep 03, 2010 @ 08:23am


    -------------

    A roadside billboard advertises the services of a local witch doctor. Do you visit her?

    Yes. <-
    No.

    You pay a handful of loot to see a chicken ritually slaughtered, but it doesn't make you feel any better.

    You lose 50 loot.
    -------------

    You find a sign pointing off the main trail labeled "secret shortcut." Do you take it?

    Yes, I like adventure.
    No, the beaten path is just fine. <=

    You continue on the trail.
    -------------

    You are a strict observer of "the feast of two dinners," a ceremony in which everyone must eat two dinners or risk offending the god of buffets.

    Let the feast commence!

    You have satisfied the deity thanks to your food supply.

    You lose 50 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate
    -------------
    Every year the weevils throw a huge party somewhere.

    This can't be good.

    This year it's in your food store.

    You lose 25 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate
    -------------

    Air pirates attack! Do you fight them off or give in to their demands?

    Fight! <=
    Surrender.

    Victory is hard won, but it is yours.

    Your crew's health decreases significantly.
    You lose 3 hours of travel.
    -------------

    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 25 lbs of food.
    -------------
    Dog in a Shoe

    A seemingly ordinary oversized novelty shoe is rendered magical by the presence of a dog.

    Play with the dog.

    The dog is busy.

    Continue
    -------------
    EDMUND
    "The bark of this tree can be chewed as a mild stimulant."

    "Don't worry, it's not toxic, addictive or illegal."

    You're initially wary of this substance, but Edmund has allayed your fears.

    Your ship's speed increases slighty. It will take you less time to cover the same distance.
    Continue
    -------------

    Your crew comes across the opening to a large, menacing cave.

    Explore the cave.<=
    Keep traveling.

    After exploring the cave for several hours, Little Kid that stares at you alot emerges covered in leeches.

    Little Kid that stares at you alot's health decreases significantly.
    Continue
    -------------
    Little Kid that stares at you alot catches "stumpface."

    Little Kid that stares at you alot's health decreases slightly.
    -------------
    Forest or Desert

    EDMUND
    "Before us lies a choice that will truly test our mettle: we could keep trudging along through the forest, like cowards, or we could risk life and limb with a shortcut through the blistering desert!"

    Continue through the forest
    Cut through the desert <-

    You head into the desert.
    -------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 110 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 11 ammo.
    -------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Fri Sep 03, 2010 @ 08:38am


    -----------------

    Person in the Ape suit looks a bit hungry, but doesn't say anything.

    Tell Person in the Ape suit to go make a sandwich.
    Share the candy bar in your pocket with Person in the Ape suit. <-
    Three meals a day means three meals a day. No snacking!

    Person in the Ape suit smiles at you. Sometimes it's surprising what a little bit of generosity can do.


    Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance.
    Your crew's health improves slighty.
    -----------------

    A massive sandstorm starts to form just off your starboard bow.

    Steer towards it and probable utter destruction.
    Steer away from it. <-
    Hold your course.

    You give the storm a wide berth, avoiding its violence and the potential death of your entire crew.


    You lose 10 ammo.
    You lose 50 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
    -----------------

    Just when you're feeling pretty good about yourself and your airship, you're cruelly heckled by a six-year-old child flying by on a hang glider.

    Pretend like it didn't bother you.

    In your despair, you pillage your food supply.

    You lose 50 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate.
    -----------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 25 lbs of food

    -----------------
    EDMUND
    "Look at the size of that obelisk. We must hoist it onboard!"

    "Foolish? We'd be fools not to!"

    Your ship speed decreases due to the weight of the obelisk.

    Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance
    -----------------

    Person in the Ape suit lies down to take a nap. While getting a snack you spy a shadowy figure beside Person in the Ape suit's bunk.You call out and the figure vanishes in a dark cloud.

    Investigate.

    Person in the Ape suit has two bite marks.

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases slightly
    -----------------
    A vampire leaps out of nowhere and throws a bomb on the deck, but The Mariachi successfully kicks it back at the vampire, blowing him to bits.

    Say "whoa."

    You say "whoa" and notice that The Mariachi broke two toes.

    The Mariachi's health decreases significantly
    -----------------

    You find a sign pointing off the main trail labeled "secret shortcut." Do you take it?

    Yes, I like adventure.
    No, the beaten path is just fine. <=

    You continue on the trail
    -----------------
    Imposing Skeleton

    These bones serve as a grim reminder of the desert's terrible powers.

    Examine the bones.
    Continue on the trail.

    Upon closer inspection, a small plaque reads "brought to you by the desert's terrible powers."
    -----------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 135 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 9 ammo.
    -----------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 25 lbs of food.

    -----------------
    EDMUND
    "Scorpions! Everywhere! AAAAHHH!"

    Edmund goes on a scorpion-squashing rampage

    Amidst the carnage you find a shred of Louie's coat caught on a nail; apparently this was a prank to him. The Mariachi slips on bug guts and falls.

    The Mariachi's health decreases slightly
    -----------------

    A pterodactyl nests on top of your mast. Do you try to remove it?

    Yes.
    No. <-

    The additional drag slows you down but the pterodactyl looks cool.


    Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance
    -----------------
    Icaiser's pinkie explodes, running a perfectly good sandwich.

    Icaiser's health decreases significantly.
    -----------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Fri Sep 03, 2010 @ 09:13am


    ------------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 3 days and your crew ate 75 lbs of food

    ------------------

    A band of dervishes pulls you to the ground with grappling hooks.

    Fight them off!

    It's no use. They manage to relieve you of some loot.

    You lose 50 loot.
    ------------------
    The Mariachi discovered a small nest filled with falcon eggs in the ship's mast.

    Grab the eggs

    Sure, you got some food, but at what cost?

    You gain 50 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    You see a vampire following you on the ground.

    Try to catch them

    You stay up all night chasing the vampire to no avail. This makes you very tired and you oversleep the next morning.

    You lose 6 hours of travel
    ------------------
    EDMUND

    "Hey, everyone look over there! Whatever you do, don't look at me!"

    "For your own good, look away!"

    A blinding light emanates from a device in Edmund's hand to engulf the ship.


    You save 3 hours of travel
    ------------------
    A band of pygmies, amazed by everything about you, asks if you'd like to be their ruler. Do you accept?

    Yes, power is fun.
    No thanks, you're fine with just being a captain <-

    The pygymies hate to see you leave but love to watch you go
    ------------------
    Party Sphinx

    You arrive at the Party Sphinx, whose nose seems to have been destroyed by heavy drug use. The ghost of an ancient pharaoh approaches: "Hey dude, want to buy a lucky mummified asp?"

    Unfortunately, you don't have the 25 loot needed to make the trade. Continue on the trail.

    Your journey continues
    ------------------
    You find a sign pointing off the main trail labeled "secret shortcut." Do you take it?

    Yes, I like adventure.
    No, the beaten path is just fine

    You continue on the trail
    ------------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 120 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 14 ammo
    ------------------
    A tall, gaunt man in a turban appears on top of a sand dune. He whispers into your brain, "Diaaaaamoond iinnn thhe rroughhhhh.'

    The desert sure causes weird dreams. <=
    You join him at his side, awaiting massive, magical feline jaws.
    Run far, run fast

    Aware that you are dreaming, you lucidly imagine that you find a treasure chest full of loot and food. You find such a chest soon after, and realizer that you've been awake the entire time.

    You gain 50 loot.
    You gain 50 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 3 days and your crew ate 75 lbs of food

    ------------------
    A mean tail wind kicks up behind you. You make a joke about "tail wind" and everyone laughs.

    Your ship's speed increases slighty. It will take you less time to cover the same distance
    ------------------
    You see signs advertising a party on the ground below. Would you like to join?

    PAARRTYY!!<-
    No, you're busy

    Turn out it's a study party, but your crew livens things up and shows the nerds how to get back at the fraternity next door. In return, they hook you up with the plundered loot from the frat house.


    You gain 25 loot
    ------------------
    A stranger offers you some candy. Do you take it?

    Yeah, I love candy.
    No, it could be a trick

    The stranger kicks the dirt and says, "aw, shucks."
    ------------------
    You fear that Little Kid that stares at you alot has become a zombie, but have no proof. Due to your well-known history of psychotic hallucinations and unfounded accusations, the rest of your crew doesn't believe you. What do you do?

    Act on your suspicions and smother Little Kid that stares at you alot in the night.
    Assume you're mistaken and let Little Kid that stares at you alot live. <-

    Later that night, Little Kid that stares at you alot eats . It turns out Little Kid that stares at you alot was actually a cannibal, not a zombie, so you spare their life.


    Little Kid that stares at you alot dies
    ------------------
    In a momentary lapse of proprioception, Person in the Ape suit opens a door into their own face.

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases significantly
    ------------------
    A little bird flies in the window and wants to tell you a secret.

    You humor the little bird

    The bird gives a precise account of the end of the human race, in terms so realistic and inevitable it immobilizes you with terror.


    You lose 6 hours of travel
    ------------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 3 days and your crew ate 60 lbs of food

    ------------------
    Massive inflation elsewhere on the continent devalues your loot.

    You lose 50 loot
    ------------------
    Grandpa Chicken Legs accidentally fell off the ship while chasing a moth.

    Investigate the scene

    The moth escaped unharmed. Shame about Grandpa Chicken Legs.


    Grandpa Chicken Legs dies
    ------------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 100 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 10 ammo
    ------------------
    Person in the Ape suit miraculously develops a sixth sense. It's called "clobe," and it's completely useless and unpleasant.

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases slightly
    ------------------

    Edmund finds a vial labeled "Ce.Ch.be - Embryonic"

    Person in the Ape suit wants to drink it. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
    Give it to Edmund for safekeeping.

    Person in the Ape suit rapidly devolves into a dinosaur, and then gets better later.

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases significantly
    ------------------


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Fri Sep 03, 2010 @ 09:38am


    ------------------
    You find a group of vampires cutting down a huge beautiful tree.

    Stop them!

    You chase them off and spend the morning bandaging the tree.


    You lose 6 hours of travel
    ------------------
    The Mariachi discovered a pile of spoiled grunny meat in the cargo hold.

    Dispose of it

    You chuck the rotten meat, avoiding some bad food poisoning in the process.


    You lose 25 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    Burning Bush

    This bush blazes with strange religious significance. It seems to be trying to talk to you.

    Talk to the bush.
    Continue on the trail

    Just as you're about to engage the bush in conversation, an anthropomorphic bear in a ranger hat extinguishes it. You feel a profound sense of loss.
    ------------------
    A pack of rats moves into your ship's hold.

    You are forced to ask them to leave

    They decline your request and continue eating your food.


    You lose 25 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    You encounter a vending machine on the ground beneath your ship.

    Feed the machine some loot. <-
    Shake the machine

    Rustic frontier living does have its conveniences.


    You gain 10 ammo.
    You lose 50 loot
    ------------------
    You find a bear munching on a cow carcass. A friend of the jellyfish, he invites you to take some with you.

    You gain 25 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    You all stop to get matching anchor tattoos, but The Mariachi mishears and gets a unicorn.

    You all have a good laugh at The Mariachi's error

    The unicorn gang doesn't see the humor in The Mariachi's unauthorized use of their symbol, however, and tears the flesh off The Mariachi's arm.


    The Mariachi's health decreases slightly
    ------------------
    Person in the Ape suit gets kicked in the head by a horse, severely damaging their brain area.

    Where the hell did a horse come from?
    That sucks

    Oh, you're right, there are no horses on your airship. Nevermind.
    ------------------
    Obscene Cactus

    Out of embarrassment, you try not to look directly at this cactus. Just as you're about to sneak a glance, a strange man approaches: "Hey, wanna buy some jerk chicken? I've been jerkin' it all day."

    Unfortunately, you don't have the 25 loot needed to make the trade. Continue on the trail

    Your journey continues.
    ------------------
    Person in the Ape suit's intestines become the battleground for a parasite gang war.

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases slightly
    ------------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 15 lbs of food

    ------------------
    Person in the Ape suit heard some noises in the hold but is afraid to investigate alone.

    Investigate the hold yourself

    A bat flies past you head when you open the door and some ammo mysteriously disappears.


    You lose 10 ammo
    ------------------
    The Mariachi is stricken with ennui, and takes to staring out portholes and heaving demonstrative sighs.

    Ask The Mariachi what's up

    "I don't know," The Mariachi replies, gazing without focus into the middle distance. "I'm just sad." You bake The Mariachi a cheer-up cake.


    You lose 25 lbs of food in addition to what your crew already ate
    ------------------
    Everyone starts to feel ill after dinner. Someone filled the salt shaker with rat poison!

    Investigate

    You search for the culprit and notice a bat leaving the ship from the corner of your eye.


    Your crew's health decreases significantly
    ------------------
    Resting is vital to keeping your crew healthy and happy.
    Your crew has rested and they feel energized.

    Resting took 1 day and your crew ate 15 lbs of food

    ------------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 80 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Upon arriving at your ship, you realized you don't have enough room in the hold for all the food you collected. You are forced to leave some behind.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 15 ammo
    ------------------
    Little Kid that stares at you alot has fallen sick with a rare case of inverted hearing.

    Little Kid that stares at you alot's health decreases slightly.
    ------------------
    Person in the Ape suit develops a case of "rocketbutt."

    Person in the Ape suit's health decreases slightly
    ------------------
    Onto the Ocean

    The desert dunes seamlessly give way to beach dunes, and the relentlessness of the sun relents as you fly onto the Western Sea
    ------------------
    EDMUND
    "I've just distilled an elixir that will double our resistance to disease."

    "Everyone take a sip."


    The elixir reverses the gender of your crewmembers for a day. The first few hours are lost as you explore your bodies.

    You lose 3 hours of travel
    ------------------

    An inexperienced wizard accidentally creates a gravity well. It draws you forward with extreme force.

    Get ready for a fall.

    Just in time the wizard turns it into a peacock, but your ship continues sailing briskly.


    Your ship's speed increases significantly. It will take you a lot less time to cover the same distance
    ------------------
    Edmund
    "They say killing an albatross brings bad luck."

    "The quickest way to test that hypothesis is to massacre a flock of them."

    You convince Edmund that shooting clouds works just as well, thus avoiding a curse that would turn your crew to zombies, but wasting your ammo.


    You lose 10 ammo
    ------------------
    A giant squid attaches itself to the bottom of your ship, threatening to drag down to your doom.

    Edmund hacks the squid apart

    The remnants of tentacles that remain suckered to your hull slow you down.


    Your ship's speed decreases significantly. It will take you a lot more time to cover the same distance
    ------------------
    A girl asks you to help find her lost dog. Do you help?

    Yes.
    No.

    You find the dog in the next town over where he has a secret second family. He bribes you to keep his secret hidden and promises he'll be back to the first girl before long.


    You gain 50 loot
    ------------------
    Your crew was able to haul back 60 lbs of food with ease. Not a bad day's take, but hopefully there will be better hunts in the future.

    Your hunting expedition took 12 hours and cost you 17 ammo.
    ------------------
    Gnomes, famous for their pranks, disassemble your ship and kidnap all of your crew in the night.

    Shrug your shoulders

    By morning they have reassembled it several miles up the trail. You awake in new surroundings pleasantly confused.


    You save 6 hours of travel.
    ------------------
    Something pricks Grandpa Chicken Legs's foot when putting on their shoes. Inside you find a thorn poisoned with salamander's blood, a favorite trap of vampires.

    Grandpa Chicken Legs's health decreases slightly
    ------------------
    A band of pygmies, amazed by everything about you, asks if you'd like to be their ruler. Do you accept?

    Yes, power is fun.
    No thanks, you're fine with just being a captain

    The pygymies hate to see you leave but love to watch you go
    ------------------
    You see signs advertising a party on the ground below. Would you like to join?

    PAARRTYY!!
    No, you're busy

    It's a study party. Your crew spends the evening learning something unrelated to ship-flying.


    You lose 3 hours of travel
    ------------------
    HMS Boruff's Bounty

    You find the captain's log: "Day 4: Forgot to bring a crew. Forced to abandon ship and brave the perilous 40-yard swim back to shore."

    Go explore the shipwreck.
    Continue on the trail

    The cargo hold is full of ping-pong balls, garish wigs, birdfeeders, wax candy lips, breakaway tuxedos, iron-on tattoos, pinecones and obscene novelty pasta.
    ------------------
    A friendly stranger borrows some loot to show you a magic trick.

    Watch closely

    Then he does an even better trick and disappears into thin air.


    You lose 25 loot


    Icaiser
    Community Member





    Wed Sep 15, 2010 @ 09:56pm


    Cloud Shaped Like a Butt

    You come across a cloud which looks an awful lot like a butt.

    Spend hours giggling at the cloud.
    Continue on the trail.


    User Comments: [11]
     
     
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