Wall of Amiable Life Lessons Inane Rambles of Academia
1. Black and White Abstract
Assignment - Post-modern Criticism
Damn post structuralists and their crazy abstract visuals, can't anyone ever be straight forward anymore?
It accomplishes its goal and is enjoyable to look at, and a monochrome avatar that is strictly black and white, sans the crazy scale is a nice deviation from the norm. Blotting out the kachina, except for the left arm and right leg is a nice balancing act.
The crown, however, is too jagged against the soft curvature of the avatar, the metallic luster of the shoes clashes with the subdued, felt texture of the black leg. The bottom portion as a whole, aside from the few stripes, feels strangely empty in comparison to the rest of the avatar.
Some are saying, "but this avatar's using three yin yangs!" Well that's just the kind of thing you stop worrying about when you have tenure, kiddo.
Verdict 5/10.
---
2. finding the lost treasure
Assignment - Justice Studies - Piracy
Damn it. Class, has anyone seen my wallet? I had a coupon for two dollars off foie gras in the senior faculty lounge! You know, that place you'll never see unless you succeed in life.
Ah, well, I'll be giving extra credit to whomever finds it for me. And judging from this assignment you're gonna need it.
The noel carries the body of the avatar like a gilded crutch. The clothing selection, ultimately, are very trite. The reve jacket makes me think of the reve jacket, and other such tautologies. The necklace is a lone splash of color in a sea of black and tan, and is very jarring all on its lonesome.
Every choice for setting up the perimeters of the scene are rather predictable, save for the stars and hand-cuffs. While the hand-cuffs are kind of a unique choice, that doesn't necessarily make them the best choice and are, in fact, quite an odd accoutrement for a treasure chest. The stars look plain awkward.
Expensive hair, expensive lips, fuzzy black catapillars for eyes. There was no finesse in producing the design of this assignment's clothes, its expression, or its scenerio.
Verdict: 4/10.
---
3. Cexil
Assignment - Principles of Reason 101
Subjective vs. objective is an important factor in many portions of academic, from science, to philosophy, to humanities, and a subject upon which you will surely be berated by countless professors over the most minute mistakes throughout your entire College career!
This assignment surely has many subjective qualities to a voting body which relates strongly to simple, anime cliches. However, the design itself is very lacking on an objective level, exhibiting only the most introductory forms of matching, little character, and all around unfinished feeling.
It is a point from which great avatar talent can spur, but in and of itself, it holds no place in the canon of avatars.
Verdict: 2/10.
---
4. The Future of Fashion
Assignment - She's only here for the parties
Children today, so concerned about their clothes and image! Can you believe I have students who have every one of Lady Gaga's songs memorized to a 'T', but can't even recite the electron transport chain of metabolism?! Pitiful.
I'm initially struck by the awkward layering of the head: speaker phone goggles, with some awkward strip of paint underneath and dangling down the ear, just appear incredibly uncomfortable to me. However, some of the matching elements are particularly redeeming, like the soft, felt grays in the hair, shoulders, and the top of the leg armor. The reds and golds I'm up and down about, as while they are pretty well matched without being incredibly awkward, they're like a dagger in my heart, a reminder that even the minute accent genre of matching will be run head first, bleeding and screaming into the ground, through replication of the same item elections over and over again.
While minute accents may be a glimmer of hope, the utilization of minute golds is the hurricane which smothers that fragile glow.
Verdict: 7/10.
---
5. The Garbage Magician
Assignment - Philosophies regarding Modern Folklore
The sophists are at it again, it seems. Saying, "there's a theme underneath all of the matching!" Layers and layers of meaning may be cute and what have, but they're like layered bean dip in the end: self-indulgent, and incredibly fattening.
I'm drawn by the face on this assignment and then immediately repelled by the ******** all layering and forced matching. The heavy layers create a facade of intricacy. If there's so many items, it must be skillful! However, when we peal away, we discover this onion is quite unripe. The browns is particularly expectable, focussed around the well established lyndexer brown palette, with a few unmatched deviations in the upper region. The gold accents are an utter bore. The reds would have been striking and exciting if they had been closer in shade, been included in the neck region, and pretty much not been reve rouilles.
Titling your essay the garbage fairies opens you up to a pretty obvious zinger, but I'll leave it open for someone else to use.
Verdict: 4/10
---
6. Darkness avi
Assignment - Creative Writing 101
All I see is anime, anime, anime. Don't people read the classics anymore? And Catcher in the Rye for high school English doesn't count, kiddo.
This doesn't exhibit much beyond the aforementioned 'subjective qualities' often enjoyed by the strange bedfellows who make up the voting population. Imagination is a powerful thing. Too bad imagination and creativity aren't actually synonymous.
Its the beginning of the end for me folks, repetitive critiques for repetitive avatars. We'll be taking bets on how long I can withstand before I'm convinced my own creativity is dying as well.
Verdict: 1/10
---
7. Ethereal Element
Assignment - Painting 101
Change your clothes before coming to class, kiddo. I don't need you tracking in the collateral damage of your splatter painting.
This assignment should have taken color theory into greater consideration, and used better quality paints. The "striking colors" is largely accomplished by the worn out method of using bombastic skin layered in kitschy tattoos. The matching, beyond this, is particularly trite. The pinks begin at the top, fluorescent and dense. The fluorescence is lost almost immediately to the subdued pinks of the bra and beyond, and the density of pinks is never again replicated. The shell is too peach. The purples are uneven, the top having a particularly large usage with only the straps at the sandals at the bottom.
The face draws far too much attention for a color oriented avatar, none of it good. The bulbous eyes and glasses don't suit the art style in any way.
The greats don't just splatter paint on a canvas with abandon and call it abstract, kiddo. Strategize, plan your trajectory, your palette, and let it fly. Abstract isn't an excuse not to think about it.
Verdict: 3/10
---
8. Come to me
Assignment - Crime in Antiquity Folklore
This assignment is reporting on a particularly interesting historical figure, and pays close attention to the personable details.
The face construct exhibit particular finesse, the usage of makeups and bruises to accentuate the skin and eyes is commendable. The stiff lips and use of the wink to create a sort of fidget in her eye are interesting touches which make the face particularly unique. Further, while mostly consumed by the fog, the collar and surrounding accessories shows attention to garment detail all the same. It is a shame that the essay puts so much weight in the fog, but its ultimately forgivable in the face of the overall piece.
He also makes a note about how her crown was perched very awkward upon her head. One might think this is a symbolic critique of her rule, such as how Macduff claims Macbeth's clothes fit him poorly is such.
Or perhaps it is just to say, her crown was perched very awkward upon her head. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, eh?
Verdict: 8/10.
---
9. My Immortal Soul
Assignment - Religions 101
This assignment was on burial practices in antiquity, but it fails to make any solid points beyond the skirt women wore, the presence of cobwebs, or the presence of a holy effigy. There is very little suggestion of character or inventive mood. There's also this strange passage about how the deceased's eyes looked like fuzzy black catapillars. Peculiar indeed.
Verdict: 3/10.
---
10. Bigfoot Sighting!
Assignment - Nature Photography
Every deadbeat wannabe photographer seems to think the way to photographic success is throwing in a few high contrast filters and calling it a day. The subject matter was exquisite, but it was lost in all the filters. What a shame.
Forced matching. This student thought they'd sneak it by me, but they failed. This was a perfectly good theme torn apart by this need to force matching. The sock, and headband, against high contrast black. Who did you think you were going to fool?
I suppose the damage isn't incredibly potent, but the hit that visual appeal takes from this is pretty harsh, when weighed against the easiness of theme and the dullness of the starter clothing, resulting in an overall underscoring avatar.
Sorry, kiddo, but I need to bring this to the attention of the entire class. Class is in session!
Verdict: 5/10.
Now let's all move ourselves to the lecture hall to continue today's lesson.
