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what did i change in the past two years that are truly directed to my over all well being?

to look at things from the past seems to fuel me ever more because of the regret and non forgetful memories and events i caused or experienced. one thing is for sure is that ive not been able to let go of the bad memories i had experienced in my past. its complicated to forgive yourself in all this cover up. most people say to move on and learn from past experiences and this is the only way you will mature, well not for me. i have my own solution, to never forget and endure and to apologize and forgive those who have hurt me or whom ever i hurt before. i cannot let go though i can use it as fuel. ironically this whole mind set for myself has has given such confidence in everything i do from taking a run in the morning or competing for a scholarship. its hard to tell that everything i say is all the truth though its your choice to believe me and it was my choice to do such horrible things in the past. ive matured into a pre adult and as i learn more and as i contribute to the community more, i learn how to become stronger. this person once asked me what my priorities were and i gave no answer because, out of honesty, i was trembling. after that i just lost some of that cockiness i had. i gave up on a lot of things and when i thought i could just run from my mistakes, it punched me back when i never kept contact with some of the people i grew up with. i didnt have such a great social life in my second semester of sophomore year. i committed most of my days just reading books about anything that gave me a little comfort. i gained weight during that second semester and until the start of junior year i wanted to truly change and commit my life to find all those people i hurt and those people that hurt me and say "i did it!". i got more into martial arts and one of my friends brought me to the world of MMA(Mixed Martial Arts). this gave me an edge on most things like fitness and eating well. as i got more involved outside, school became more dull so i switched a few of my classes and got into the world of Orchestral Instruments. i started playing violin within the first few weeks of second semester and to be honest, violin was a piece of cake. we played music from vivaldi to tarkovsky and even from the great beethoven himself. i got more involved in the fine arts and quickly got into the world of Dramatic Arts. i was in A Christmas Choral and in The Wiz as the Mean 'ol Lion. i truly got involved and it never truly stopped for me because clubs at our school were so limited, a couple of friends and i made our school's first Japanese club because we had no Japanese language program. i also got involved in community service, military, and our new miracle makers club. we changed lives and i can't believe i never was like this in my life before. i got into two colleges and now im sure im going to my third college decision. college stuff and other material in the same field have been done with ever since i have gotten contact with a academic counselor from the Air Force program in the college im going to go to in the future...and on and on and on.

oh, i thank tony for the routines he had instructed me to do..funny thing is that it always changes..BRING IT!!