Another depressing journal.
The best place to cry is the shower. Nobody sees you, and the tears just wash away.
Some people don't know what it feels like to be lonely. I'm the kind of lonely where I shut myself away because I can't remember who cares about me and who doesn't give a s**t.
But it doesn't matter at all. Believe it or not. In the end I just have to push myself up.
I need a boost. I need a boost from him.
I have to "him"s. Two guys that I would die for their attention, their love, their appreciation. But they feel nothing. They don't know about this deep void I'm in, and even if they did, they'd only boost me out of pity. Not love.
Love is what I need. Real love. Not the kind that blinds you into seeing the real monster he is. That's the wrong kind. I need the right kind of love. Right now.
He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what he did to me. He really is the worst, because he can move on no problem. But I have a burden; A cloud hanging over my head.
It's sickening. All of it. I constantly feel like I'm going to puke because of my depression.
And nobody loves a broken hearted girl. I realize that. Guys want a girl upbeat, and ready for anything. I'm not strong enough to hold myself up; And nobody wants to take the time to pick me up.
I don't know if I'd make a good girlfriend. Last time I gave all that I had. All of it to a guy who changed his mind. Who decided it wasn't worth it anymore, and left me with that cloud over my head.
You, gaia, of course, wouldn't understand. But I don't want someone to pretend to know what I'm going through. I just want someone to be there for me while I'm going through it, ready to catch me when I fall.
I'm a mess, I don't care who knows it. One thing I want everyone to know, is that I care. I care about a lot of people, and I fall in love easy. That's why I'm so hurt. The man I loved has moved on, and the two guys I might possibly love don't know and most likely won't care.
Yep. Another depressing one...
The best place to cry is the shower. Nobody sees you, and the tears just wash away.
Some people don't know what it feels like to be lonely. I'm the kind of lonely where I shut myself away because I can't remember who cares about me and who doesn't give a s**t.
But it doesn't matter at all. Believe it or not. In the end I just have to push myself up.
I need a boost. I need a boost from him.
I have to "him"s. Two guys that I would die for their attention, their love, their appreciation. But they feel nothing. They don't know about this deep void I'm in, and even if they did, they'd only boost me out of pity. Not love.
Love is what I need. Real love. Not the kind that blinds you into seeing the real monster he is. That's the wrong kind. I need the right kind of love. Right now.
He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what he did to me. He really is the worst, because he can move on no problem. But I have a burden; A cloud hanging over my head.
It's sickening. All of it. I constantly feel like I'm going to puke because of my depression.
And nobody loves a broken hearted girl. I realize that. Guys want a girl upbeat, and ready for anything. I'm not strong enough to hold myself up; And nobody wants to take the time to pick me up.
I don't know if I'd make a good girlfriend. Last time I gave all that I had. All of it to a guy who changed his mind. Who decided it wasn't worth it anymore, and left me with that cloud over my head.
You, gaia, of course, wouldn't understand. But I don't want someone to pretend to know what I'm going through. I just want someone to be there for me while I'm going through it, ready to catch me when I fall.
I'm a mess, I don't care who knows it. One thing I want everyone to know, is that I care. I care about a lot of people, and I fall in love easy. That's why I'm so hurt. The man I loved has moved on, and the two guys I might possibly love don't know and most likely won't care.
Yep. Another depressing one...
