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My father-in-law was an airborne controller for Strategic Air Command. Translation: He's the guy who decided which target to attack and how. But my husband didn't quite know how to explain that to our six-year-old son. Instead he said that his father had flown in airplanes.
"Did he fly the planes?" our son asked.
"No."
"So he was the one who handed out the pretzels?"
-Ariella Keen
Reader's Digest

"Hello, this is the base operator. How may I help you?" I said to the caller.
"Can you connect me to Lieutenant Smith, please?" he asked.
"There are a number of Smiths here, sir. Would you know his first name?"
There was a pause. "Uh...Lieutenant?"
-Alexandra Newcomb
Reader's Digest