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I dont care who reads this at this point.. This isnt for me or for anyone.. just emptying my mind. Daily posts is a new goal.. I hope who ever may read this can find some sense of encouragement and strive for their own goals.

As the days have come and gone, I've noticed no change.. Life is stagnant. Rotting in place and not moving forward. Ive dreamed of foreign lands where life has proved to be more interesting. Ive seen through the veil of time and lifted the shroud from off my eyes. Like a revealing light piercing through the darkness. This world that i could never reach and will always seek. I fear that through the passing days in this stale and frozen life ill never find the answers i long for in my heart. Confused and lost, stumbling like a blind man afraid and alone. I strive for this change but cannot achieve.. Honor and pride are all that remain... The soul is harder to corrupt than the man.. men fall.. ive fallen low.. been defeated and pushed down, the struggle to stand back up is harder than it looks.. harder than it feels. I feel my knees give way and my heart shudder, stranding back up means being pushed back down. Mentally fighting, what to believe in, how to be stronger.. i have to be stronger.. Honesty? Being honest with myself? Honest with others? Accepting who i am? Fighting against becoming who i am? ... i cant give in.. Evil I feel it pull me down.. The man is being corrupted by its influence.. No one is infallible.. I feel it spreading like a cancer, the harder i try to kill it, the stronger it grows. Deep Seated Evil spreads and consumes.. anything that resists is over come.. Space.. theory like the sun.. Gravity vs Pressure.. I feel the Gravity compacting it all into the center.. All the evil consuming all around forcing everything into a corner.. The pressure is building.. the pressure is growing.. stronger, my soul trying to push back.. it cant give in.. i wont give in i wont loose. Is this going to be a constant battle? How much longer can i keep fighting back.. i want to rid myself of this plague.

This is what i can conclude to myself.. cause every vow i made for myself i've broken.. lapsing back into my former. Living in the middle ground is no longer so simple. When i open my eyes what path will lay before me.. Which road will i start to walk down.. will it lead back to this same point? For now i will take a deep breathe and start to walk again. As far as this conclusion has reached.. no change has been granted. But i will sure as hell try..