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ive always had my inner child, its always been there, maybe to much so, lately ive begun to see just how irresponsible i can be, first i lose my class ring, then my retainer goes missing, and then i change career preferences, its driving me me crazy to see how ive lost control

what is the first step to becoming more responsible? can we only learn from mistakes that we innevitably will make, what must be lost in ordered to gain control of your actions, must knowledge be sought or will it come to you innevitably? such questions loom around in my head waiting for answers.

thank goodness for my amazing fiance, to be able to cheer me up so, to answer so many questions with but a single sentence, simple words, truly i have so much to learn from her ^^ never will there be another to be able to console me so <3 her maturity is one of so many levels above mine, i know this well, so i know i must eventually strive to catch up, for the future will bring hardships that will require an adults maturity, to make decisions on the next level, if i am to be able to have a part in these decisions i must reach her level and become her equal in this matter as well <3

my fiance loves me for who i am, i love her for who she is <3 i just wish her family could sometimes see her the way i do! i do not understand how they could take her so lightly! its maddening to see her suffer so, everyone except her grandfather, and brother, and sisters seem to force her into so much hardship, they take her for granted, and already theyve driven her to want out so badly of their house, i can not blame her, and when the time comes that she turn 18, a new home will open up to her <3 my home, and college, both shall be waiting to welcome her with open and loving arms <3 the first night she spends in our house will be the most amazing night of our lives, symbolizing freedom, passion, love, compassion, new begginnings and so much more <3

i look forward to our future together <3 because i love her and accept her so much for who she is <3