once upon a time there lived a totes bitchin lady folk name antonz. She was so bitchin that the whole kingdom of sparkle land had an Andrew Hussie on her. But in the neighboring province of emobroodypantsworld, the emos hated her because she was so vastly superior to them. So their queen, enoby dark'ness dementia TARA way (lowercase cause she ain't cool enough to have her name caped), decided to kill her. The plan was simple, to kidnap the LOVE INTEREST and lure her into a trap.
The LOVE INTEREST's name was That One Guy. He was forever cursed with that name because he once stole antonz’s pen, and the citizens of sparkle land killed his name. This proved a great over reaction, and made everybody kinda sad.
Needless to say, antonz was very upset when she learned That One Guy got kidnapped. She knew that it was obviously enoby, and so she set out to save him. She left in a grandAntonz left through the exit, and saw the emo leader with That One Guy! She gave pursuit, but the emo leader evaded her. She followed him to the stone Emo Headquarters of Dispair !!!11111!11!!1 She engaged him in combat, with OH SCREW IT SHE’S JUST GOING TO STAB HIM NOW, and his long dark cloak of unhappiness fell from his shoulders. The leader was Dahvie Vanity, really what the hell, this is weird. Antonz Sporked him through the stomach , but Dahvie was unaffected. He took one of his albums and put it in his walkman.(A/N hah parade, with her wifiepoosits(plural) waving to her high in an unnecessarily tall stone tower. Her Wifiepoosits(singular) Erin was wearing a gown spun from the finest of candy (yes that worked somehow) and sitting upon her pet unicorn Hank. Her other wifiepoosits(singular), Sarah, was also wearing a yummy(as in actually tasty) piece of candy clothing, engineered by the premiere designer, Lady Gaga. And her third wifiepoosits(???) was far to busy being delicious to do anything. Her third wifiepoosits was of course nutella.
After leaving town, Antonz quested to The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern. But on the way, she was intercept by the dark night, Sir Charles and his beautiful husband Adam.
“Why are you blocking my path you distasteful tool?” said Antonz, not one to mince words.
“Because That One Guy must join our cult!1!!111!11!!” said the knight, who was ugly and stupid.
“oh yeah, forgot the whole cult thing. That instantly give me legal power to KICK YOU a**” she exclaimed, stabbing Sir Charles in the bone bulge with her giant iron pitchspork. Sir Charles screamed like a sissy and ran away to his little stupid cart. Antonz sheathed her spork and continued to The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern./
She finally approached The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern, and as the name suggests it was a nice, fast-casual Italian place that was perfect to bring your whole family to, and had a sign on the door reading “NO MISCREANTS ALLOWED” she sat down to a small brunch of pizza with her adventure passe. There was Audrey the Awesome, Alana the Cool, Leah the Radical. There was Kyra the Tall (lol no we mean Mathematical), Sam the Bold, Lil' Bob the Hella. And finally there was Kendra the Wise, Rachel the Fly, and Jello the Hipster. Together they are the wielders of the elements of hipsterny!(A/N there is no James the Nobel here, and never will be. The very notion should strike you as reckless and foolhardy.)
"Sup dawgs?" asked Antonz the sextasticlysuperduperfablousnessosity, (or Coolkid for short).
"Your Awesomeness, we have discovered the location of sa- That One Guy!" exclaimed Lil' Bob, who in retrospect was probably far too young to be adventuring.
"Rad. Audrey, do you have the adventure mixed tape?"
"Uhh, yeah, I guess." said Audrey, who wondered briefly why they needed a mixed tape for adventuring.
"Excellent! Now let us quest my bro-hams!"
The party aproched the Caves of Sorrow111!1!!1. The party wonders why the hell the emos have to name every single place in their kingdom after sadness. Really, emos, really. Antonz walked up boldly to the cave and yelled, "Hey, stupid emos! Go back to fan fiction.net where you belong, and leave me That One Guy! Why do you even want him, really, it's kinda creepy!" The emos cried out in pain, as Antonz had successfully attacked them with logic! The emos lashed out with their marysue fan fiction manuscripts. The party fell back, with Kendra casting magic to cover the retreat. But Sam charged into battle, swinging his bag of Buttkicking +5 to bludgeon the emos. "Get back, you ugly jerks, and give back That One Guy!" Antonz briefly got a glimpse of That One Guy being led away by the emo leader. But then the emos used SUMMON CARAMEL DRAGON DESU~ to invoke a fearful monster, more dreaded then even more then the emos: a weeaboo.
Meanwhile the party was blindsided by a swarm of emos. They stood back to back, using the most powerful techniques possible for their class: SONIC MIXED TAPE, ARTISTIC MOCKERY, PUNCH THEM AGAIN, SMARTICLE OVERLOAD, KILL THEM TO DEATH, BLINDED BY THE LIGHT, HIT THEM UNTIL THEY GIVE UP, AND RECURSIVE REBLOG. But alas, it was not enough. Though they fell, bleeding out their ear because of inspiring music, cried and ran away because of mean pictures of them and their close same sex friends, punched- TWICE, didn't know what y/x^2+7z-xy=69 means, were killed to death, had their Grue eyes melted by the divine fires of Neil Patrick Harris, gave up, and had that one damn picture of them reblogged by every single tumblog, it was still not enough to overcome the fresh swarms of them proorring in from every direction. But suddenly, the unicorn Hank appeared, and with him Erin, Sarah, and nutella. they lashed out with their ceremonial pez dispenser Uzis the emos were taken off guard and destroyed. Sam returned, and used his ultimate technique COME AT ME BRO to goad the emos into attacking him. the rest used this distraction to destroy the emo swarm once and for all!
Antonz gazed upon the summoned monstrosity. All the other emos had long since fled, and only Caramel and Antonz remained. Antonz hefted her spork just in time to deflect the sonic wave from an EARTH SHATTERING DESU~. Antonz yelled her battle cry of “Screw you!” and charged at the dragon with the technique THE DEVIL’S PITCHSPORK . She jammed the spork straight into blubbery folds. The dragon screamed and tried to bash Antonz with her head for some reason. Antonz youth rolled out of he way and used SPORK YOU! at the monster’s head. A critical hit! The monster’s very, very small brain was pulverized, and the monster screamed it’s death cry. The compressed wapenesse gibberish ricochet in all directions, and caused the entrance of the cave to cave in. Antonz was seperated from her Brohams!
The Brohams looked at the ruble and thought “crap”
ahaha made you look) Antonz recoiled at the intense physic damage, yelling at him “STOP SINGING ABOUT SEX YOU PERV” She sporked him with the dull end of her spork again and again, but the music was too much for her, and she fell over, bleeding out every orfice.
She was DEAD.
Davie gloated to That One Guy “lol now you will be the subject of our song. P.S. We are not gay at all lol”
That One Guy shed a single tear of black liquid sorrow.
Antonz looked down at her bode, and noticed that the Emo HQ looked like a tumblr dash from above. Wait, could it be?
Antonz awoke wearing a Green Hoodie with a Trollface on it. She had died on her Quest Blog, and had awoken as the Hipster Of Awesomeness. She decended apon Davie, and blasted him with memes. She had all the memes. All of them. infact, she had OVER 9000 memes. She spoke to Dahvie “U MAD!?!” and bashed him in with THE SPORK. Davie started to disintegrate, crying “NO IM 2 COOL TO DIE!! AND IM NOT GAY”
He was dead
Antonz looked upon That One Guy
That One Guy looked upon her.
Antonz’s cool friends showed up and killed the moment
Wehezly looked at the bitchin story he wrote and smiled
EL FINO
[This is by my bro, there are tons of typos on purpose, and memes and homestuck references, hope you like <3. I lurve my broham]
The LOVE INTEREST's name was That One Guy. He was forever cursed with that name because he once stole antonz’s pen, and the citizens of sparkle land killed his name. This proved a great over reaction, and made everybody kinda sad.
Needless to say, antonz was very upset when she learned That One Guy got kidnapped. She knew that it was obviously enoby, and so she set out to save him. She left in a grandAntonz left through the exit, and saw the emo leader with That One Guy! She gave pursuit, but the emo leader evaded her. She followed him to the stone Emo Headquarters of Dispair !!!11111!11!!1 She engaged him in combat, with OH SCREW IT SHE’S JUST GOING TO STAB HIM NOW, and his long dark cloak of unhappiness fell from his shoulders. The leader was Dahvie Vanity, really what the hell, this is weird. Antonz Sporked him through the stomach , but Dahvie was unaffected. He took one of his albums and put it in his walkman.(A/N hah parade, with her wifiepoosits(plural) waving to her high in an unnecessarily tall stone tower. Her Wifiepoosits(singular) Erin was wearing a gown spun from the finest of candy (yes that worked somehow) and sitting upon her pet unicorn Hank. Her other wifiepoosits(singular), Sarah, was also wearing a yummy(as in actually tasty) piece of candy clothing, engineered by the premiere designer, Lady Gaga. And her third wifiepoosits(???) was far to busy being delicious to do anything. Her third wifiepoosits was of course nutella.
After leaving town, Antonz quested to The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern. But on the way, she was intercept by the dark night, Sir Charles and his beautiful husband Adam.
“Why are you blocking my path you distasteful tool?” said Antonz, not one to mince words.
“Because That One Guy must join our cult!1!!111!11!!” said the knight, who was ugly and stupid.
“oh yeah, forgot the whole cult thing. That instantly give me legal power to KICK YOU a**” she exclaimed, stabbing Sir Charles in the bone bulge with her giant iron pitchspork. Sir Charles screamed like a sissy and ran away to his little stupid cart. Antonz sheathed her spork and continued to The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern./
She finally approached The Sleazy, Rundown Tavern, and as the name suggests it was a nice, fast-casual Italian place that was perfect to bring your whole family to, and had a sign on the door reading “NO MISCREANTS ALLOWED” she sat down to a small brunch of pizza with her adventure passe. There was Audrey the Awesome, Alana the Cool, Leah the Radical. There was Kyra the Tall (lol no we mean Mathematical), Sam the Bold, Lil' Bob the Hella. And finally there was Kendra the Wise, Rachel the Fly, and Jello the Hipster. Together they are the wielders of the elements of hipsterny!(A/N there is no James the Nobel here, and never will be. The very notion should strike you as reckless and foolhardy.)
"Sup dawgs?" asked Antonz the sextasticlysuperduperfablousnessosity, (or Coolkid for short).
"Your Awesomeness, we have discovered the location of sa- That One Guy!" exclaimed Lil' Bob, who in retrospect was probably far too young to be adventuring.
"Rad. Audrey, do you have the adventure mixed tape?"
"Uhh, yeah, I guess." said Audrey, who wondered briefly why they needed a mixed tape for adventuring.
"Excellent! Now let us quest my bro-hams!"
The party aproched the Caves of Sorrow111!1!!1. The party wonders why the hell the emos have to name every single place in their kingdom after sadness. Really, emos, really. Antonz walked up boldly to the cave and yelled, "Hey, stupid emos! Go back to fan fiction.net where you belong, and leave me That One Guy! Why do you even want him, really, it's kinda creepy!" The emos cried out in pain, as Antonz had successfully attacked them with logic! The emos lashed out with their marysue fan fiction manuscripts. The party fell back, with Kendra casting magic to cover the retreat. But Sam charged into battle, swinging his bag of Buttkicking +5 to bludgeon the emos. "Get back, you ugly jerks, and give back That One Guy!" Antonz briefly got a glimpse of That One Guy being led away by the emo leader. But then the emos used SUMMON CARAMEL DRAGON DESU~ to invoke a fearful monster, more dreaded then even more then the emos: a weeaboo.
Meanwhile the party was blindsided by a swarm of emos. They stood back to back, using the most powerful techniques possible for their class: SONIC MIXED TAPE, ARTISTIC MOCKERY, PUNCH THEM AGAIN, SMARTICLE OVERLOAD, KILL THEM TO DEATH, BLINDED BY THE LIGHT, HIT THEM UNTIL THEY GIVE UP, AND RECURSIVE REBLOG. But alas, it was not enough. Though they fell, bleeding out their ear because of inspiring music, cried and ran away because of mean pictures of them and their close same sex friends, punched- TWICE, didn't know what y/x^2+7z-xy=69 means, were killed to death, had their Grue eyes melted by the divine fires of Neil Patrick Harris, gave up, and had that one damn picture of them reblogged by every single tumblog, it was still not enough to overcome the fresh swarms of them proorring in from every direction. But suddenly, the unicorn Hank appeared, and with him Erin, Sarah, and nutella. they lashed out with their ceremonial pez dispenser Uzis the emos were taken off guard and destroyed. Sam returned, and used his ultimate technique COME AT ME BRO to goad the emos into attacking him. the rest used this distraction to destroy the emo swarm once and for all!
Antonz gazed upon the summoned monstrosity. All the other emos had long since fled, and only Caramel and Antonz remained. Antonz hefted her spork just in time to deflect the sonic wave from an EARTH SHATTERING DESU~. Antonz yelled her battle cry of “Screw you!” and charged at the dragon with the technique THE DEVIL’S PITCHSPORK . She jammed the spork straight into blubbery folds. The dragon screamed and tried to bash Antonz with her head for some reason. Antonz youth rolled out of he way and used SPORK YOU! at the monster’s head. A critical hit! The monster’s very, very small brain was pulverized, and the monster screamed it’s death cry. The compressed wapenesse gibberish ricochet in all directions, and caused the entrance of the cave to cave in. Antonz was seperated from her Brohams!
The Brohams looked at the ruble and thought “crap”
ahaha made you look) Antonz recoiled at the intense physic damage, yelling at him “STOP SINGING ABOUT SEX YOU PERV” She sporked him with the dull end of her spork again and again, but the music was too much for her, and she fell over, bleeding out every orfice.
She was DEAD.
Davie gloated to That One Guy “lol now you will be the subject of our song. P.S. We are not gay at all lol”
That One Guy shed a single tear of black liquid sorrow.
Antonz looked down at her bode, and noticed that the Emo HQ looked like a tumblr dash from above. Wait, could it be?
Antonz awoke wearing a Green Hoodie with a Trollface on it. She had died on her Quest Blog, and had awoken as the Hipster Of Awesomeness. She decended apon Davie, and blasted him with memes. She had all the memes. All of them. infact, she had OVER 9000 memes. She spoke to Dahvie “U MAD!?!” and bashed him in with THE SPORK. Davie started to disintegrate, crying “NO IM 2 COOL TO DIE!! AND IM NOT GAY”
He was dead
Antonz looked upon That One Guy
That One Guy looked upon her.
Antonz’s cool friends showed up and killed the moment
Wehezly looked at the bitchin story he wrote and smiled
EL FINO
[This is by my bro, there are tons of typos on purpose, and memes and homestuck references, hope you like <3. I lurve my broham]
