Gaia Username...Otulissa
Hi my name is... Lily Wang
My age of now is... 16
When I realized I was a homosexual... I was in denial at first. I started developing this (really big) crush on one of my close friends. She was the sweetest person; really kind-hearted and also really attractive... I was not sure what her sexual orientation was, so I didn't want to say anything to her at first... But eventually, my feelings became harder and harder to hide. When I turned 15 and we were hanging out to celebrate my birthday, I told her how I truly felt about her. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fortunately, she was homosexual too. Unfortunately, she did not return my affections. She liked someone else. I am not sure if I regret telling her or not... At least I got the feelings off my chest, but I was still heartbroken afterwards. And in any case, I tried my best to move on, and we were still sort of friends, but it was rather awkward. And we weren't as close as we used to be. I don't think it will ever be the same again. By now, I have moved on. But I'll try to avoid confessing my feelings from now on.
My life and how my parents found out... I am an avid writer, and I keep multiple journals. Some people would say that I obsessively write. In any case, my journals are very personal and I've written about my crush (a lot)... And I also write about other things, but the important thing is my written words about my feelings. My older brother was always my parents' favorite child; he is two years older than me, and he always says that I was an accident. It doesn't matter though, because I'm here. I don't hate my brother, but I really don't like him very much. I was never close to my parents either since they never made an effort to be a real part of my life. They only talk me down, insult me, verbally abuse me. They always call me ugly and stupid and they tell me that I'll never amount to anything in life. I wish they would stop insulting me, but I know they won't. I guess what they've said to me over the course of my childhood has taken a toll on my self-esteem. Back to the point of the story though: my brother decided to peek through my personal stuff one day, being the annoying and nosy guy that he is, and he read through one of my journals. He showed it to my parents... and purely by coincidence, the journal that he had read was the one with the bulk of my writings about my crush and my homosexual feelings. My parents already didn't like me much, even though I worked incredibly hard at school and received straight A's, nothing I did ever impressed them. This new discovery made them hate me, I think. They yelled at me for a long time, and I was afraid to say anything because I was pretty sure they were going to hit me if I uttered a single word. They threatened to disown me, but then my brother defended me for the first time. He told them that they shouldn't disown me and that I was probably going through a "phase." But I wasn't. He didn't understand that I truly did have feelings for my best friend. And in any case, I have never been attracted to a boy before. I've only felt attraction towards other girls. And then... next thing I know, my parents are sending me to this crazy school meant to "heal" homosexuals. But that isn't possible, right? It is not even a sickness to begin with!
My appearance is...
