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"It's just the way things are."
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Hah. How I highly detest that phrase.
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To say that you can't do anything about something is a pathetic excuse, really. A whole load of crock. When things are taken into perspective, it is probably only you yourself acting as an obstacle. Why draw patterns upon the sands of a measly sandbox when you have around you a whole beach for your canvas, stretching from one end of the horizon to the other? I've been there. I used to tell myself this, that "It's just the way things are." I've realized that with these very own words of mine I have dug a hole for myself and I fell therein. I've realized, that my words and mindset have become my own limitations.
And so I've learned to fight against "fate." I've learned not to confine myself to what is merely within my reach. I've learned to defy the boundaries that have been imposed upon me, both by others, and by my very own self.
I've learned not to be a defeatist.
Even then, there is something gnawing at my mind, one that I cannot bring myself to ultimately ignore try as I might. It always rages within myself unceasingly begging for an answer. And it defies me, always refusing to be hushed down or silenced. It all started out as tiny speck of doubt, a small uncertainty; little by little it had grown, conspicuous enough to the point that I could no longer shrug it off. With much defeat I begrudgingly accept that the time has come... the time to acknowledge this as a legitimate fear.
I've pondered upon this, what if, the control I thought I wielded is only an illusion? That from the very beginning, my efforts to steer the course of my life were all in vanity? What if, the unknown lies in wait for the perfect time to shoot me right at the back, in which I would be inevitably brought to my downfall?
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What if... sometimes, it really is just the way things are?
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And now I find myself in the middle of this conundrum, with its answer something I both want to know and avoid. I would hate to find out that that I've been needlessly exerting time and effort, only to be futile and bring forth no fruition; At the same time, my pride refuses that I be left in the dark.
I thought I was a fool for believing this talk of "It's just the way things are." What if in the end, it is the objective truth, and that I am an even bigger fool for even trying to act against it?
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...I suppose that is something I will have to find out.
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