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As of late, I've been feeling pessimistic and depressed. No, it's not one of my "moods" it's legitimate. I've been feeling, thinking colder...harsher things. Like I'm just not good for anything. I've been keeping more to myself lately, staying in my room mostly. Not really talking to anyone. Besides the weekends, I try to at least be social on my off days to relax. But just doesn't suffice as much as it used to.

......sometimes I just really want to talk to you...because you know me the best, and the most to be honest. But it's just I...we...feel so distant that sometimes I don't know how to act or what to say around you. And when we do rarely talk, basically all the same things come up again. I don't know if it's you or me or both but annoys me when we have nothing to say to each other.

I really just want to breakdown and let go sometimes. Do whatever. Break things. Punch walls. Rage. Fall down and just cry. I don't know...anything.

I just want to feel better...