I get the feeling that I need to slow down and allow myself to process changes that are accumulating. I'm jumping from one thing to the next. Let's slow down a little.
I'm pretty embarrassed by my writing. I don't think I am very good and I border on God Modding in any post that I read from the past. I know it is a phase people go through, but I can't say for sure that I don't do it anymore. I'm scared to roleplay again.
Yet... I'm still trying to create roleplays. Stories that I will never fill.
I let down my kids today.
I need to accept that it was my fault. I didn't get enough information and promised too soon that I would be there. I should not have said anything. I should have given them my number. I apologize and feel such shame. I let them down.
All of efforts mean nothing because in the end, I wasn't there. The kids wanted me there, and I wasn't.
My chance.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world