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A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With But One Step.
Better by..when?
Work
Hours improve from a standpoint of being more varied this new week, I have different hours most days instead of a week of only 7am - 4pm mornings which was my whole last week mius my days off.

I still work two mornings ( the 2nd & 3rd of October Monday and Tuesday respectively. ) but they are different day/ morning hours due to a few of our people coming back to work, so thats....Meh so-so.

Health
"Still Moody" I had a rough time late last night as a "Video on Youtube" of all things reminded me of how Alone , Stupid , Unworthy , Useless and Weak I am and how Ill never have a lot of things people take for granted in thier life.

As I have no close Family other than My Parents left. Most of my Irl Friends have moved on and forgotten I exsist an as well work while making me $ doesnt provide much else other than stress. sweatdrop rolleyes

Im slowly healing from a small infection thats needed cleaning the last 3 or 4 days, its almost dry now. Trying to scab over, I hope it wont bleed anymore..sigh.

Breathing has been so-so as I have slept but my back/ right side of my right lung has suffered a little as I think I lifted something wrong or had a small strain a few days back during unloading a truck. Its much better now but two days ago it Burned to breath an pressure from my back made breathing a chore every breath, I had moments where I had to stop to catch my breath as I couldnt even get a full breath in.

Life
Parents still argure. "My Father" is a lying, childish, money wasting, womanizer ( Married now for 44 years to My Mother ) and smokes still, even with my lung troubles in front of me never thinking to at least excuse himself or go else where to smoke or even quit.

Besides having really ignoring me otherwise, not including me in things he did or even paying me much attention other than when he "Had To Pay Attention" ....He's only just in the last few years realizing that he has missed something after 36 years Ive exsisted..

Oh..and he "Uses his Friends" to get "things" to me he is a ABOMINATION, he needs to be alone to figure out just how little he is...

He is the basis of 90-99% of my mental problems. Done*

Sleep
Im trying to average 7 - 9 hours a night of sleep, especially on 7am - 4pm days. Even with the sometimes werid, vivid an creepy dreams I have I need to sleep to get through my days.

I hope this week will be better as the early mornings hurt sleep usually.

I can pull a "No Sleep" day or even days, but I am messed up for a bit when I do an getting through those days are like treading sand with neck deep water. I just barely keep awake during those "No Sleep" times.





 
 
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