I've been doing a lot of abstract thinking of late.
And I don't understand why.
Here are a few exmples:
Ever since my anxiety attack yesterday -my birthday! </3- I've been worrying about not worrying. But, then I worry that I shouldn't worry about worrying and I should just let what happens happen. But then I worry that something might go wrong. And the cycle ensues.
Another. I've been visiting an online friend here in Alaska for more than two weeks. I realize that I've been at a disadvantage this entire time. For one, I'm not in my home. I'm unused to the cold and the water in the sky. Another, I'm without friends. Well, rather, external friends. All I have to do here is be with my friend and his friends. He's my only friend here, so if I get tired of him, I can't just go out and visit someone else; I don't know anybody outside of his circle of friends. And, I don't exactly have reason to: I'll only be here in Alaska for less than two more weeks. So, making friends with someone else, which would detract from time spent with him and from time here, seems a little silly.
Perhaps I'm not at such a disadvantage. Perhaps it is he who is, for I have no need to express anything about myself. Nobody gets to see and judge me because nobody knows me here, nor does anybody want to, nor do they need to.
I dunno.
I guess I'm just retarded enough to be a genius, like Rainman.
x]
Or maybe I'm just retarded enough to be a retard. Yes, that's a viable excuse.
[Disclaimer: If ever you find the inspiration to congratulate my girlfriend for her amazing support and devotion {someone has to do it, right?} then drop her a comment at [ The Fuzzy Slipper ]. That is her username here on Gaiaonline.com. Alex does not claim any responsibility for actions based on premises he may or may not have invented. Brethren, love and peace. Peace and love.]
And I don't understand why.
Here are a few exmples:
Ever since my anxiety attack yesterday -my birthday! </3- I've been worrying about not worrying. But, then I worry that I shouldn't worry about worrying and I should just let what happens happen. But then I worry that something might go wrong. And the cycle ensues.
Another. I've been visiting an online friend here in Alaska for more than two weeks. I realize that I've been at a disadvantage this entire time. For one, I'm not in my home. I'm unused to the cold and the water in the sky. Another, I'm without friends. Well, rather, external friends. All I have to do here is be with my friend and his friends. He's my only friend here, so if I get tired of him, I can't just go out and visit someone else; I don't know anybody outside of his circle of friends. And, I don't exactly have reason to: I'll only be here in Alaska for less than two more weeks. So, making friends with someone else, which would detract from time spent with him and from time here, seems a little silly.
Perhaps I'm not at such a disadvantage. Perhaps it is he who is, for I have no need to express anything about myself. Nobody gets to see and judge me because nobody knows me here, nor does anybody want to, nor do they need to.
I dunno.
I guess I'm just retarded enough to be a genius, like Rainman.
x]
Or maybe I'm just retarded enough to be a retard. Yes, that's a viable excuse.
[Disclaimer: If ever you find the inspiration to congratulate my girlfriend for her amazing support and devotion {someone has to do it, right?} then drop her a comment at [ The Fuzzy Slipper ]. That is her username here on Gaiaonline.com. Alex does not claim any responsibility for actions based on premises he may or may not have invented. Brethren, love and peace. Peace and love.]
