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It's not like I'm doing this because it's 'trendy' to be depressed.

I'm at University, first year. And I totally hate what I'm doing. I'll change next year for a Publicity school.
But I still have to study tons of useless crap even if I'm not planning to succeed or to continue.
Parents and all that, if you know what I mean.

My ******** exams begin this Wednesday, I haven't studied yet.
I have to study 20 pages of English Grammar definitions and to know them by heart. (Plus 50 vocabulary pages, 30 pages of tenses, phonetics,..).
Example of a totally interesting grammar definition:
What is a word? No, I'm not kidding. And the definition is a good paragragraph long.
Like, wtf.
I never had to do that in my mother language.
And now I have to do it in a foreign one. (I will also have to do it in Dutch).

I'm suposed to be studying and stuff right now, but I'm here writing this journal entry.
Gaia is a totally addicting site too. If it didn't exist, maybe I'll be studying by now.
I don't know. At the same time, it's just about mental strength. If I really was motivated I wouldn't be here.
No, I'm not planning to quit Gaia. D:

My solution would be not to pass the exams and to find a Medical paper or something. But it's not like I really was ill.
Or I just could not go to Uni.
What a dilemma.
And my mother is like 'Go Sophie, do your best, it's important for you future. Think of your pride.' NO IT'S NOT. I don't care about my option, I'm not going to continue anyway.
My pride? So what? I like having good marks like everyone but here, it really is my choice.

I think I've pointed out the same argument at least 10 times.

Now you will say that becoming depressed for school is sad.
But I really am.
And there are other things that I don't want you to know about.

I'm at the point of thinking that I could hurt myself so I'll not have to do my exams. That is so pathetic. I know.
And further I'm not that 'courageous' or rather stupid to do it.

Wow, I've like written this entry. With a lot of mistakes I'm assuming.
I would have written it in French but since I would like advices...

Now I'm totally depressed. I see that my situation is desperated.
Well, I'm using desperated in a 'light sense', I mean people who are dying are a lot more desperated than me.
I don't forget that there is always worse than you.

In fact, just read this and say something nice to me.
Because, I don't see how you could help me.

Gracefallen
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Mon Jan 03, 2005 @ 02:45pm

Commented on: Mon Jan 03, 2005 @ 03:29pm


	<center>Thank you Gracie. <33 I've thought about it all day. I think I've come to a decision which is what you are saying. Good luck for your exams. :3</center>

its Ada
Community Member

Aryu
Community Member

Commented on: Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 05:19pm


	Uh... I <3 you Kry? Yeah. That works. :] I <3 you Kry.

Commented on: Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 06:50pm


	<center><3 Aryu. :3</center>

Love Of A Girl
Community Member

Commented on: Wed Jan 05, 2005 @ 09:59pm


	<center> Gaia is like a jab of a needle into the flesh. Then you realize how good it feels with whatever it releases. Addicting. Yes. I understand what your saying. Even though I shouldn't have room to say anything. We are 5 years apart I belive in schooling. Its prolly much differnt. I just can't seem to pull away and do what I should. I <.heart.Kry.3

Commented on: Thu Jan 06, 2005 @ 11:15am


	I don't suppose you remember me, but you're still on my friends list lol. I'm sorry to hear things are hard for you and I hope they get better. Good luck on the test!

sammygorammy
Community Member

Commented on: Fri Jan 07, 2005 @ 03:21pm


	<center>Thank you. It makes me feel better, really. <3 Loag: I totally understand. We're all in the same situation. xD sammygorammy: I know you're on my friendlist and I remember you. :3</center>

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