Is There Something Wrong With Me?
This is a question that I have been asking a lot of my friends around me. Of course, they being the type of people who always want to see me happy say there is nothing wrong with me. It is always someone else's fault not mine. But what if this one time, there is something actually wrong with me?!
My life has been going good since I moved to Richmond, but one thing is unusual that I have never experienced in my life. The problem is that no one is looking at me.
Now, I am not conceded or anything...but I am not the person anyone goes to anymore. I have one friend at VCU and she is mostly busy with her work and her relationship, so I can't always go to her with all my problems. This is the first time that I am not doing any school activities or volunteer work because I am trying my best to keep my GPA at a 3.0, but this is causing me to make friends the old fashion way of bumping into them. This is definitely not working.
Another thing about this problem is that there are no guys even looking my way. I know that I am not the most gorgeous woman on two legs, but damn, can I at least get a double take from someone other than the homeless guy on the street. The last time I was in a real relationship was almost two years ago. I never truly had a problem with a guy stepping up to me. In high school, I always had a boyfriend of some sort or someone who had a crush on me. I guess you can say that I felt beautiful back then, but that was only five years ago. Do I really look that old that even the guys who are two to three years younger than me feel like I am their mother's age?!
When I was in community college, the dream girl was someone who was educated, beautiful, no kids, and their own place. I have all that, plus a sparkling personality to match. I don't like to cause drama, and I am honest and blunt. So, is it my physical beauty that doesn't attract or keep a guy's interest in me or is it me?! In reference to: do I just lose what it takes to keep anybody happy or care about what the ******** I do in life?!
Some people might say that it will be ok and just concentrate on my school work, but I am sick and tired of hearing that. Once I have accomplished everything I wanted in my life, I would still want someone by my side who says good job and was there to see me go through everything. What is wrong with wanting that?!
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions. -- David Borenstein
 ~Red Fairy Princess~ · Mon Sep 18, 2006 @ 08:02pm · 1 Comments |
