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...I'm no longer healthy. I want to harm myself...I won't...but I really want to. I'm so scared of what's going to happen with my parents...I'm scared for myself...I'm scared for my dad mostly...and I'm scared for my sister...we never really get to see eachother anymore because of her job...and I miss talking to her...arguing with her...saying goodnight I love you to her...everything. I suppose that it's times like this that help you realise what you really want in life...I don't know how to mend my family...I don't...I mean...all of the pressure if bieng put on me to help them...so...I'm clueless...if they were ever to seperate...then I would be so depressed...I would hurt myself without trying to. Any advice that would help would be nice...but I don't think that anybody will read this journal anytime soon. Oh and to make things better, my friend keeps yelling at me...I know she doesn't mean to...but...it doesn't exactly help things...it makes my condition worse. It sickens me that she does that...I can't be around her when she's like that...I can't...I mean...if I am then I will do something bad. My inner emotions are always hidden, bottles up...because I don't want anybody to know that I'm upset, but I can't do that any longer. The other day when I cried in front of one of my friends, she started to cry too...so I stopped crying for her and it helped...if I'm not strong for them...then who will be. I feel as if this whole thing is clueless...I feel as if my life has no purpose...everything is getting worse, nothing is getting better at all...and I don't know what to do...help me please...it would be nice...I mean...please just help.
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