Here is my current mood...stressed and anxious. Not to mention my undaunting fears regarding the terms and confusion of life...and love. I don't care what anyone else says...I need to learn to listen to my heart. Should it be like this? Constantly battling with myself over such matters?
I...can't help it. It's not like I'm setting myself up for failure, though sometimes it seems that way...I'm trusting again. Sure, I'm making mistakes here and there. But that's only because I'm relitively new at this...with love, I mean. Trusting as well, now that I think about it.
For those who keep getting pushed away every once in awhile, please...don't take it personally. I just need to...figure things out one step at a time. Please don't think I like or love you any less...I am just such an amature trying to express sadistic feelings I didn't even know I had up until now.
If only I could show you...not just you...all of the people who have reached out to me. If only I could figure out how to just...relax for once. To allow myself to get close to you...and to put down my sharp barriers...in an attempt to allow you to be a part of my life.
I'm so close to doing that...I'm just...not quite there yet. Please...wait for me...please don't give up on me. Not yet...hopefully not ever.
((don't comment here. PM me please))
 SonicBeauty · Thu Feb 17, 2005 @ 11:38pm · 0 Comments |
