Bittersweet Goodbye
Grasping the hood of her cloak, she pulled it around her face, boots tapping lightly against the wood floor as she made her way toward the exit of the room. Soon to leave the last thing she held dear, forever.
A bracelet, crafted from the hide of an animal, hung loosely around her left wrist. Her dainty digits rose to her forehead, only to brush away a few stray ebony tendrils, pushing them firmly behind her ear.
Indira cast a glance back behind her. There was his motionless form, slumbering beneath cotton sheets, half of his muscular body exposed to her lavender eyes.
"I'm sorry..." She murmured, loud enough for only her ears to hear. Indira prayed he was dreaming about something sweet and peaceful; it would suit him.
It was with a heavy heart that she forced her legs to move forward, not daring to glance back one more time. For if she had, then she might've been tempted to crawl back into bed bedside him. Where she had been, only an hour ago.
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She admired the rise and fall of his chest, watching him as he slept. Long dark lashes folded across his supple flesh, casting a shadow upon his fair skin. Loose tendrils of ebony fell across his eyelids, thin lips slightly parted as he inhaled and exhaled slowly.
Extending a single digit, she slid her finger across the length of his exposed, sinewy abdomen. Her action seemed to make him shiver, a smile rising to his lips.
Indira's eyes seemed to soften as she recorded his reaction in her mind, knowing full well that in the morning this moment would be only a distant memory. That was why she refused to allow herself the luxury of sleep. Instead, Indira occupied herself with laying awake beside him and drinking in the light of his face.
Tonight, she thought, I'll dream of you, for tomorrow you'll be gone.
Turning over onto her side, Indira closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. She found the thought of losing him forever to be overwhelming, and unthinkable. How was she suppose to deal with such sadness?
The moment was interrupted as she was seized around the waist. Valourin cuddled closer to her, planting his face against the back of her head.
"You smell good..." He murmured groggily, intoxicated by her scent. His arm curved around her stomach, pulling her securely against him. It was almost a possessive motion, as though Valourin didn't wish to let her out of his grasp.
"Shh," she cooed, "Sleep."
Valourin nuzzled her neck affectionately in response, before obeying her order. Within five minutes he was claimed by a dream and breathing calmly again.
Once there was silence, Indira found herself back at those horrible, and depressing thoughts. About how she would never be able to gaze at his handsome face again... Or see that broad smile on his lips as she woke up beside him in the mornings... All because of that letter.
Tomorrow was the date in which at least one person from each house hold was to report to the local barracks. There they would be recruited to fight for the country and protect it from foreign invaders. It was a cruel method of forcing a good portion of the populace to serve the military.
Indira might have been more optimistic in thinking that Valourin would return to her after the war had ended, if not for the fact that her elder brother and father had been recruited the previous year. A mere month after they were recruited, she received word of her father's death. Then, a week later, she was given similar news about her brother. Apparently he had witnessed his own father's murder and it had driven him to take his own life.
In return for her losses, the government did nothing. They showed her no sympathy. Nor did they give her any sort of consolation, such as money or an apology. Of course, nothing could bring her family back, but it seemed as though the military didn't even give her loss a second thought.
Indira's frail fingers curled into a tight fist. Gritting her teeth tightly, she admonished the government. If it wasn't for them, she would still have her brother, and her father! In fact... If it wasn't for them... Tonight wouldn't be the last time she would see Valourin.
This is when she finally arrived at a solution for her problem.... In the letter, it stated that at least one family member from the house in which the letter was addressed, must leave and train to become one of the military's soldiers. At no point did it state specifically that it had to be a 'male' of the household. Though, Indira wasn't foolish enough to think that a female would be welcomed. There was no doubt she would be frowned upon, and her family name would be dishonored for allowing a female to enter the military.
What does loss of family honor mean to me, a person who has lost nearly everything dear to them? She wondered silently. Valourin doesn't have to sacrifice himself. He hasn't lost everything. His world isn't an inch from crumbling. After all, he still has his parents and his siblings, who are all doing well for themselves...
The thoughts only continued further, convincing her of what she should do.
When he leaves tomorrow morning, I will have nothing left. No family, no friends... Nothing to love, nothing to live for. What's the meaning of being alive, if there's no one who cares for me or needs me to exist? If I go in his stead, and I die... Then at least I won't be alone.
Indira's fist loosened a bit.... By now, she had reassured herself; she wouldn't ever have to be alone again. It was admittable that she would miss Valourin, and she would have a rough time being a 'warrior', for it was quite obvious by her weak build that she wasn't suited for battle... However, the most important thing was that, in the end, if she lived she could come back and be with him forever. If she died, which was most likely, then at least she wouldn't be alone.... Ever again.
Then it's decided. All I have to do is dress myself and leave the house before Valourin has the chance to wake up!
With this thought, she rose and pulled herself away from the man sleeping next to her. Fear flickered in the pits of her stomach as she prayed silently that he wouldn't wake because of her movement.
Groaning, Valourin merely rolled over onto his other side, pulling the cotton comforter closer.
She smiled, relieved, glancing at him momentarily before wandering off to gather the essentials.
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Silent tears cascaded down her cheeks.
This world is too cruel for the two of us, Valourin.... That we would have to part after only half a year of being together. Six months of sorrow that we've just recently overcome. Only to be burdened with a letter from the government. That's alright, my love, that's why I'm going and not you. Let my life be a meaningful sacrifice, so that you might live on to find a wife who can make those eyes shine with happiness once again.
This was her only thought as she closed the front door, softly, so as not to awaken her beloved. With one final glance back at the house she had shared with him for only a very short amount of time, Indira made her way down the dirt-beaten road. All the while, not knowing whether or not she would ever walk back down it again.
Even if she was leaving the one she loved, only to enter a battle that she would lose her life in... Anything was better than being alone again.... Even death.
