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This is the first day where I venture out having Mastered my beast. If it is true that i have indeed mastered it, my life shall be richer and more productive in the work of my Lord and Master, Jesus Christ my King.

It's kinda scary, Ten years i devoted myself to this moment and now...I dunno, it's like i've lost something, but gained more...

This won't make sense to most of you, but i have to write it down. I can't belive that it's finally happened....I have mastered my beast.


This is a song I wrote today, Please say what you think of it....(any more titles would be great, the longer the better!!)

The shattered heart of a lost and found soul.

I love you so much, you names but a whisper
You've captured my heart, let me go.
I don't want to love you, i can't stand the pain
It hurts me it kills me, so sharp, heres the blade.

Pushing yourself in my heart like this blade
is pushing against my skin, there can be no more smiles
Not while your like this,
I want them I want to love.

Not to love you, not you but anougher,
he's softer and kinder and loving
you hurt me and taunt me and kill me inside
let me go what you do is so cruel.

I love you so much it makes my tears fall
this bed that I sleep in is cold
the tears are soaking my pillow at night,
my soul, eyes heart they all cry.

I love you, I love you, I love you
I can't stop this hushed cry
I need you I want you to heal all my pain
Yet I don't, my loves not yours.