In a few short days, I will become part of the Brave family. I have a strange feeling about my soon to be marriage to Nataro. I can’t say if the feeling is good or bad but I certainly feel something. Perhaps it’s just a case of being nervous. I should take it upon myself to ask Nataro if he feels the same.
It couldn’t hurt to consult him more about how I think. We do talk just not enough. I suspect he knows next to nothing about my life in the past, and I know little of his. Our time together has been spent late in the evenings else where.
The brighter side of things my beloved friend might actually become my sister. Airashii sama has been taken as a “girlfriend” to Nataro’s older brother Kato. I found it unusually odd but very pleasing. Airashii had several mixed emotions about Kato and she often spoke to me of them.
I really haven’t talked so much to Kato, but he seems nice. Airashii sama sudden interest in him has persuaded the elder brother to stay around longer instead of returning home. However, Airashii has made it clear to me that she isn’t ready for anything further then the commitment of being a “girlfriend” again.
She is quite the creature to set eyes upon and that’s only to back up her rebellious free will. I swear I probably would have fallen in love with her if it hadn’t been for Nataro. heart Now I looked forward to having a long time sister at my side.
Only a few days ago I met up with him again, Ryu. He had found Raves on that time he had ran off after hurting Era. Ryu was simply returning the boy to me.
Since the discovery of my son’s deceit I could no longer bare myself to care for him. I freely handed my baby over to his father. Ryu, at first, saw this as a sign of me being a coward, typical me running away from my problems again. After a long talk we settle things and his feelings change.
Raves for now on will remain under the careful watch of Ryu, and I will visit as often as I can. This decision has pained me in many ways, but I thought it was the right thing to do…I hope I was right. Several times Raves went on that he would rid of the infant inside of me. I just thought it was more of his rantings at the time, but something appeared for me to think otherwise.
I returned homeone afternoon very tired and decided to take a nap. Snuggling down into my bed I felt something strange tucked under a few animal skins. I pulled out what my fingers had touched and saw that it was a long, narrow needle. The needle I often use to sew clothing and other materials, but I always put the instrument away inside my chest. Then my thoughts turned remembering what Raves had said about the baby. The boy did sleep next to me. Did Raves plant the needle hoping that one night he would jab it into my stomach? I couldn’t say.
Recently, my fiancé was robbed of his possessions, the poor thing. sad With the help from me and several of his friends he has manage to obtain again what was lost.
Sadly, since the robbery he has opened a new bar for himself. It has the same name just in a different location. The only request I have made so far about the new bar is that Kato not to get a master bedroom next to mine and Nataros’. If I hear another comment from him about “loud noises” coming from my bedroom…I swear I will kill him! evil
Nataro has been busy with making preparations for the new baby...and I am barely showing... sweatdrop He is so happy about the child. It’s delightful to see him fluttering around me with his joy. The man likes to spoil me so much its sometimes just plain annoying. whee
A few names have been selected depending on the gender of the child. If boy I will name him after my father, Rontu. A girl her name will be Ciel or was it Ceil? Not certain on the spelling but its something close that. Oh my redface …I have even forgotten the attachment names that Airashii added on. I am sure she will remind me. 3nodding
I am not certain how things will be as soon as I am married. My habits of only visiting the bar late at night won’t change. I haven’t even told Nataro yet I wasn’t going to live permanently with him at The Spot.
There is still a problem I have with not wanting to be there when other people are. Nataro tells me to ignore what I don’t like and feel free to love him all I want publicly. Sadly, when someone says something about our behavior in front of them…it only serves to push me away.
A time has gone by since I said anything related to my illness. Nothing has improved and I have refused all offers of treatment. My illness can’t be treated its basis is in the heart. Even now when I am out of sight from the world and only Era can see...death watches over me…waiting.
No one has really seen my true state of falter only my sister. She takes good care of me. Death will come soon for me, but I refuse to take my unborn baby with me to the after life.
These last few days I have thought of a lot of people especially my father. It would be wondrous to see him again. I am not so certain I want to be saved, however, there is somebody above all else I have thought of. He keeps the smile on my face going knowing that he is happy. My token is with him...for him my heart is always and eternally his. He knows. heart
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Savvy Dea's Journal
Eh...nothing much maybe some poetry or fanfiction I am writing. Place where I can write down my thoughts.
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Evil Ryu Bateson
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