Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I have the most incompetent retarded childish immature parents in this life.

So over the week end I brought home a lap top (compaw presario) that I baught cheap on E-Bay and which was staying in my locker for like way before christmas, so that I could spend some time in the living room and type away my stories and at the same time spend time with "the parents" and interact with them, 'cause they complain I'm never there.

Of course I had to lie to them. I had to say that a friend handed me the old lap top so that I could test it out and see how I like it. If they knew I had baught it, even cheap (200$ US) they would have totally killed me. I already have a computer and that is already too much for me. They think Satan invented the computer. They are like all the old gamers who come into a new country but refuse to follow the rules and adapt. (We are originally coming from Transylvania, which is a part of Romania, which is located in Eastern Europe - though we are of Hungarian origins and decendency).

So I said that my friend has lended me the lap top as I would lend a dvd for the week end. But I had not brought it back to college, to my locker by monday and they made a huge crisis saying that my friend was using me to get rid of her junk, that I was a weak mind, an useless trash collector. And of course they had to throw in the famous "I was ripped off" and I have paid thousands of dollars for that rubish computer (who actually works very fine) and blah blah and blah and screw them damnit.

What bothers me is that their tone of voice, their way of screaming at little details without even listening to me and for Christ's sake I'm 23 but I am still considered as a 13 year old because I live under their roof.

They simply do not know that some ppl can be nice to others, me in this case. Because ppl were bad to them, because they have had a rough life, I'm going to have the same difficulties. I'll also be ripped off by my family, cheated my by sister and be stolen my proper legacy by my sister because she's evil. (Actually, if you compared us, she would be the Virgin Mary and I would the black sheep, rebellious, troublemaker and nasty lil b***h).

So they screamed and put me down, saying words that really hurt. That I am weak, usable, that ppl take advantage of me, that I don't have have brain, that I'm a b***h or a lazy cow, that I'm a total disappointment to them, that I have betrayed them, just like my sister because I have not obeyed to them as a nice lil puppet. And that is exactly how I feel with them ; like a damn puppet. They use me when I can be useful and control me like a doll when it advantages them.

(rant to be continued after computer excell test)

Oky so test is done - back to rent.

Second part of the night was my mom's welfare paper. She is on welfare for a few months, the time that new comissions come in the textile place where she works. I helped her do the declarations, and everything was fine, she recieved the first letter telling her she (or most likely me) will do the phone calls to ask for the money that due to her.

But when she recieved the paper, she just put it, in the envelope, on her drawer and never showed it to my dad who might have said to her that I need to call the place back on a certain date. That triggered a huge screaming session again on how women in general were stupid and useless. (So useless, he could not survive without us but then again, we are only okay when we can serve him and when it does not arrange him, we are the worst thing on Earth).

What really bothers me is the lack of communication and simple kindness in the family. There is no such thing as "I'll go with you tomorrow morning and arrange all that mess and activate the request for you and so this time we will be aware of date limits to call" No no no !! He had to scream and shout and put her down as they both did earlier in the evening. First off she was upset that I had a lap top, then her anger got splattered onto him, and the night conluded with him getting the rage right back onto me (I am the weaker, the outnumbered, the "child" wink and then onto her (she is the woman, the weaker sex) so that he could feel superior and manly and in power.

And he kept on asking every 2 minutes "Why did you hid the paper from me ?" and she kept answering "That's what I do not know" and on and on and on until they ended up screaming again, and going back to the famous past that they do not seem to be able to get out of. Family treachery, lies, stealing of heritage, my sister decieving them, me too, and their past in the childhood era, then the uncle's evil plans to get his hands on our property (house and land) and the usual crap.

On the brighter side, I was on MSN with my friend Johan, who is my darling pie absolute beloved friend - close to the title of god actually - who put me right back up from where I should have never been pushed down. I cannot be grateful enough to that guy who simply says the right thing and the comforting words. I was crying and wiping my nose and tears and seeing the screen blurry but I am happy it was only on MSN - I would have felt much worse if I would have cried in front of him. Not that I would have been ashamed, but I would rather have been weak to listen to those morons' words and believing them, letting them affect me.

There is simply no communication in this family, apart from the bloody past that I am sick and tired of hearing of, and they expect like by magic, of me and my sister, to be darling angels of unconditionnal love and respect towards them, even if they lack to show us those things. I remember my sister used to be sick, trowing up, after the fights and screams she had with them when she was in high school/college level - at that time, younger than me.

They give us this example and expect from us to get married with the man they would chose for us and be happy and stick around for their old days. Well, keep dreaming ! I love them in a formal way like I would love a political man, but nothing more. They want to control us to last breath and expect from us that we do exactly as they tell us, because if we do not act accordingly to their wishes, we are treators and cheaters and eat their nerves, create shame and are ungrateful brats, often threatended to be returned to Romania as simple marchandise and put in prison under close watch so they would be sure we wouldn't do anything against their will.

This is what happens when parents give kids the wrong example. Kids act against the parent's will and no more emotional black mail who works on our emotions to get us in the trap again.

I'm done ^-^ sorry for the rant - It needed to come out.