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ooooooouuuuuuuuchhhhhhhhh!

my neck and head hurt soooooooo bad! i'm sick too. the stress and not sleeping is finally catching up with me. too bad i can't let it take me down cause i have so much to do! i wish i had somone who cared about me and took care of me. someone that would love me and i could love him. oh well. i think i have been watching too many soap operas today. lol. ouch.
i have a project for photography that i need to do but i don't feel like doing it at all. i know it will just come out like crap. it always happens. besides. i can't put my heart into my artwork anymore. it used to come with such ease and now all motivation and is gone. i am so glad i only have two months left of photography. after this year i will not do anything art related ever again! i am done! i am not an artist and never considered myself one so it will not be a great sacrifice. i can't do this anymore. my heart is nolonger in art. now it's turning to music. but i can't even do that. i know i should be happy with what i have. but i have always wanted to just be really exceptionally good at art. that was always my dream. it fell apart when i came to america and realized that i have no chance or talent. oh well.
how come some people have eveything so easily and others have nothing even though they fight until their last drop of blood?