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the cronicles of nothingness this journal is a relfectiion on how i feel that day. I'm just going to write what i want.


Mikayo1
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a bunch of journal entries
MARCH 11
so yeah just got off the phone w/ jason. he makes me happy. yeah we have been talking for like 6 hours...i wonder if he realized that? oh well. i asked him if he was tired and he replied w/ a lil bit. so i said do you want to get off the phone and he said no....i was happy to hear that...he didnt even want to get off the phone at 12 so i was amazed. yeah so anywho....i want to go see the school play. yeah its a musical....its called the susical. interesting huh? ok so yeha i want to go see it w/ my two best buddies....monica and jason. My dad and mom are making me take Jesus Hernadez along....a bit irritating...i dont want to go w/ him hey its a ride though right? but still he is going to tell my parents what ever i do there.....and i wanted to go w/ jason... as we all know we cant let my parents confirm what they already know. i know they know ..... but i wont make it offical till i turn 16...what was the point in having a quince if i wasnt concidered an adult afterwards? they should have just waited till i was16 and celebrate it like an american. Cuz obviously they dont want to follow the mexican way of life. of course i say then and then my dad says DO YOU WANT ME TO TREAT YOU LIKE A MEXICAN WOMAN???? hell no i dont want to be made JUST for having kids, naming them, cleaning. cooking and being a slave to my husband and giving in his every little wimb.....no thanks i live in america i just happen to be mexican but thanks for the talk dad.. i cant wait my birthday comes soon. by then jason should know enough of my parents to know what they excpect. everything should be fine. i hope my parents like him and i hope he likes them....OMFGIZZARD i have to go through meeting his parents holy s**t thats going to suck.....omg......id­k....dude i' m super sleepy but monica is talking to colton on the phone and brennan on the computer so shes not going to want to go to bed.....i felt really bad today cuz monica's mom made spagettie and meat sause.....DUDE THAT STUFF SMELLED SOOOO GOOD!!!! but i couldnt have any......it had meat in it (its friday and its lent) damn....so i just took some noodles....but her mom decided to go make some shrimp and veggies for me....thank you ms. momma#2 it was good...i liked it... i like shrimp...thats about it. um ok i need sleep going to try to begg monica to get her mexican a** off the computer!!!!!

MARCH 12
i'm kinda pissed right now cuz.....I CANT SEE JASON!!!!! first off cuz monica's mom is being suspicious of us and my mom is crazy protective over me. SO even if i could go see him he's going to go look out houses in dixi county!!!!! thats where chapman is.....no please dont buy the house.... god if his family buys the house i'm going to cry. that means he will move school NO ******** WAY!!!! then we are going to break up and everything will go to hell. i will be very very sad. i have nothing to do today kinda ticks me off. i cant even invite jason to come to cyo w/ me cuz he is not religous and really doesnt care to be....SO GOD JUST KILL ME NOW DONT KILL ME W/ CANCER JUST DO IT QUICK !!!!! u know you want to!!!!! well....geeeez venting is not working......its just making me more upset. god i cant belive this. i have to wait a month to start dating jason. my parents a pysco maniacs ....why.... i have no idea....i want to see jason before next weekend cuz we're not going to be here. he is going to florida and i am going to texas last time i checked thats not any where near eachother....we may not even be able to talk on the phone cuz my mom will be all weird about it...."who are you talking to" "why are you talking to him" "get off the phone" "larissa your not allowed to date what are you doing" stuff like that. i'm going to ask him to call me when he gets off his plane...just cuz i want to make sure he is ok. i'm just like that i cant help it....sorry that i care. ok anyways...he gets back before i do...damnit.....afte­r spring break my mom is not going to let me spend the night at monicas for a while "havent you guys had enough of eachother" then i will proceed to say NO shes moving i want to be w/ her as much as possible until she moves....i'm going to miss her so much...monica is my best friend i've never had this great of a friend ship before and now its going to decinigrate cuz shes moving.... just like it did when i was w/ nicole i left and she stopped calling me....just like i didnt exsist anymore....that saddens me that she would do something like that. i'm going to lose my boyfriend and my best friend...awsome...th­is is great...


MARCH 15
so it looks like jason and i have a date on thursday...that once again isnt really a date cuz...i'm going w/ a mass group of people so yeah. su told jason to kiss me....yeah he hasnt kissed me yet.. i really dont want him feeling uncomfortable cuz that would suck and he would dump me....cant have that.....i'm going to have to kiss him....i'll try .....to do it on thursday..i wont see him again until monday a week later. GOD THAT SUCKS...i'm going to take a pic of us together so i can put it everywhere....stalke­rish...NOT ANY MORE...considering you cant stalk something that is already yours....somany people tell me that he hasnt had a girlfriend before...kinda hard to belive..so i wont.....


MARCH 27
alright so i went home to el paso for spring break.....this break made me realize how much i really dont like my dad....i mean really dont like him. i dont understand why he is like that....monica was there w/ us. why would he act like that in front of monica...i dont understand...how can he be like that. I guess spring break was ok..besides being w/ dad. luckly for me i was w/ mom for most of the time. i dyed my hair..well i put red streeks in my hair....dad blew up.....and what pisses me off the most is that he said that i needed to act more like a girl YET he wont let me do girl stuff....so i dye my hair...thinking this is a girl thing to do ....and you know what its not like its even a bright red color...you'll see i'm gonna take pics w/ monica sometime soon. but he bitched at me dying my hair for like ever. NEYWAYZ....i miss jason so much. i'm going to try to go to the movies w/ him this coming saturday. but i dont know what to see..not something gay like the last movie....cursed...su­per gay man that movie really sucked...unlike last time i dont have a whole lot of money to help support stuff to do. i only have 10 dollars...and thats if i dont eat for this week...i dont want jason to pay for everything cuz he kinda doesnt have a job right now. although he just got a crap load of money from his uncle so if he doesnt spend it all...i wouldnt really want him to spend it all on me.


MARCH 29
alright so i thougt it would be in my best intrest to go and give jason a kiss after school....so i ran after him...he was leaving through the commons doors...so i ran after him and finally caught up...he laughed when i said that he was a hard person to follow...cuz he walks fast...he asked if i was stalking him and i smiled and said yes...why not i thought....i said you know you had to run, all i wanted to do was give you a kiss....he turns red....yeah next time just wait for me...he said ok....so i gave him a kiss(french) and someone walks by and makes a coment....it was funny we both laughed...so then we kiss again one of his friends walks by gives him a pat on the back ...YEAH JASON NICE(in an enthused voice)...i'm thinking nice what????? cuz hes kissing some dork??? anyway...that made me laugh tooo...so i said....see now if you had just waited we could have done this in private...he said quickly no no its ok....yea cuz he wants to be see w/ some chick...thats ok i dont mind...so i put my forehead to his and said oh really and laughed...and i held his hands....i enjoyed that moment.....thats a memory moment....i love that...it made my day




 
 
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