I feel so empty again. I've been so distant from everyone. When I finaly do talk to people again they find an excuse to not talk to me.
Steph's mad at me. She used to always talk to me but it seems now that I have Paula she's not talking to me anymore. because she's "working" yet she used to talk to me at work all the time.
Wolfie won't let me leave. I can't handle her anymore. I've done everything to help yet it was never enough.
I still feel so unappreciated at work. I think that's why they are letting me away with things more recently. I can't seem to do anything right. I've put on 12Kg because I'm back to eating to comfort myself.
I scour the R+C forum for hours to find nothing yet people like Steph can find some within minutes and are always getting free ones. I finaly ask a friend to do me one and she won't yet doesn't mind doing it for others.
I have one friend (other than Wolfie) making me feel guilty for finding love. For Christ sakes. if you wanted me why nto take me when you had the chance? No you jsut threw me away. I got over you and found someoen who does love me, who appreciates me and who makes me feel like a normal person and loves me. Don't you dare make me feel guilty for it.
I feel I killed HPM. it was going ok till I made like 4 threads to talk and poof everyone leaves so I leave. Stephy won't let me so I have to resort to never viewing it as if I left the members list she'd bug me daily about it.
Seems the only things going right ATM are me and Chels are good friends again and me and Paula are going so well.
I tried to be nice and polite to Tasha but seems like even after all these months she STILL hates me. I mean come on. how long can one person hold a grudge? And yes I said hates. What else would you call someone completely ignoring another? not even giving them a tiny amount of respect and replying to a very well layed oout apology? I mena even people that truely hate me have acnolaged apology PM's I've sent. She wont' even acnolage reading it. yet she said to Steph that she didnt' hate me and kinda cared about me. Why does it hurt?
But jsut like usual no-one will even bother reading this journal.
l)ark Cell · Wed May 24, 2006 @ 01:37am · 3 Comments |