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	l)ark Cell's Journal Don't comment unless you feel you want to. This is my place to rant about things that I need off my chest. Not everything said in here is true. Most of it is said in anger or sadness.

	Absence
	Absence


Sorry for being absent all. Had a falling out with Manda which co-incided with my laptop needing repair so kinda ended up offline as I hate using this desktop and I didn't wanna resort to my usual mud slinging and moaning so kept away. I stated playing Maple Story again while I wait for Fable 2 to come out as I've no 360 games to play atm and with X-Mas coming up no cash to spare and forgot how addictive it is. 6 hours can go by quite fast ><. Anyway gonna try be here more for ya. Now the darn laptop. First time it crapped out was because there was a hair ball stopping the fan from working. Got that fixed in a few days then 2 weeks later the power thing in the laptop broke. Got it "fixed" and picked it up this week only to find out it was worse than when I took it in so now gotta wait till sometime next week to hopefully get it back. I soo need a new one. If only I can win Lotto today ><. Oh and a shout out to someone awsome who's having a b-day. Happy Birthday Tenny heart heart l)ark Cell · Fri Oct 17, 2008 @ 07:13pm · 0 Comments

	Me and my cat
	Me and my cat


Zeenah the best cat in the world not like normal cats she isnt lazy. she does crazy things like putting her foot through her collar. she loves the same things as me like sticking her paws on Paulas boobies. Lol I love my cat. heart l)ark Cell · Sun Jul 29, 2007 @ 12:59pm · 2 Comments

	Yay I'm such a selfish moron..... sigh
	Yay I'm such a selfish moron..... sigh


If I don't answer the phone when it rings I get in rouble right... but when I ring her I have to ring an average of 5 times before she answers. I'm too selfish huh. Wanting to talk to her. I gotta stop thinking of myself. So now I've gotta stop saying what I want again. Even though I only tell her once a week if that but I guess that's too much for her. Even if she did say she wishes I asked for more things but that might have just been to make me feel selfish. So now I can;'t even talk to her at all till Wed night. Is life really worth it anymore? l)ark Cell · Sat Jan 27, 2007 @ 04:28pm · 3 Comments

	*pulls out hair*
	*pulls out hair*


God I soo need to calm down and de-stress, This isnt' good for me. Stress + depression + what jsut happened = me with less hair. kk if you know me you know I stress about EVERYTHING. Lately because of some things I've been depressed and now my tool to tune out (the 360) really jsut fked me off scream scream gonk kk well if your've played it you know of the Ring of Death. When you get 3 red flashing lights meaning hardware failture. In otherwords the thing dies and you have to pay Microsoft a fortune to get it fixed. Well mine just did that on me. And man was it annoying. I read what to do. Replugged everything in atleast 5 times. took out the harddrive, checked the power. Nothing fixed it. I thought "****** great. again life screws me" and hit the dam thing as hard as I could. 10 min later I tried it again and low and behold the thing works. I'm waaay too scared to play the game again (I only jsut got it too sad ) but are soo GRRR. I jsut want to break everything. need to de-stress and calm down. This helps. Rant semi-over l)ark Cell** · Sat Oct 07, 2006 @ 05:44am · 3 Comments

	Update
	Update


So Paula says I have to update this. Iono waht to say. No-one but her even reads this (love you <3) hmm. I've got a headache from iono really and sooo tired recently and depressed. I'm back to that old crap self who can't do anything right and is in a point in life I can't handle very well by myself but I'll get through. I always do somehow >< umm. My $5k curse struck me last week. Every time I get to $5,000 in savings something comes up to make me spend it. This time it was the car but I've used my Kiwi inginuity and with Dad's help should have it well kinda ok now. Now I'm finaly over the $5k mark woot now I can spend. I was gonan get clothes this week but I'll have to put that off till next week. Gotta get Paula Buffy. I gotta start watching it when she brings season 1 over so I can watch it from the beginning. I still gotta find what else Paula wants so I can get it for her and make her happy =D. Well there we go. I'm a dork I know so shush xP l)ark Cell · Tue Sep 26, 2006 @ 09:10am · 4 Comments

	Empty
	Empty


I feel so empty again. I've been so distant from everyone. When I finaly do talk to people again they find an excuse to not talk to me. Steph's mad at me. She used to always talk to me but it seems now that I have Paula she's not talking to me anymore. because she's "working" yet she used to talk to me at work all the time. Wolfie won't let me leave. I can't handle her anymore. I've done everything to help yet it was never enough. I still feel so unappreciated at work. I think that's why they are letting me away with things more recently. I can't seem to do anything right. I've put on 12Kg because I'm back to eating to comfort myself. I scour the R+C forum for hours to find nothing yet people like Steph can find some within minutes and are always getting free ones. I finaly ask a friend to do me one and she won't yet doesn't mind doing it for others. I have one friend (other than Wolfie) making me feel guilty for finding love. For Christ sakes. if you wanted me why nto take me when you had the chance? No you jsut threw me away. I got over you and found someoen who does love me, who appreciates me and who makes me feel like a normal person and loves me. Don't you dare make me feel guilty for it. I feel I killed HPM. it was going ok till I made like 4 threads to talk and poof everyone leaves so I leave. Stephy won't let me so I have to resort to never viewing it as if I left the members list she'd bug me daily about it. Seems the only things going right ATM are me and Chels are good friends again and me and Paula are going so well. I tried to be nice and polite to Tasha but seems like even after all these months she STILL hates me. I mean come on. how long can one person hold a grudge? And yes I said hates. What else would you call someone completely ignoring another? not even giving them a tiny amount of respect and replying to a very well layed oout apology? I mena even people that truely hate me have acnolaged apology PM's I've sent. She wont' even acnolage reading it. yet she said to Steph that she didnt' hate me and kinda cared about me. Why does it hurt? But jsut like usual no-one will even bother reading this journal. l)ark Cell · Wed May 24, 2006 @ 01:37am · 3 Comments

	My Art Wishlist
	My Art Wishlist


I have a horrible condition. it's called being addicted to art but always finding every store closed or full so I need help to find artists. If you can find an artist THANK YOU <3. I don't want to pay anymore than 5K for art. maybe 10K for the ones with 3 or more people in them but no more. if you can find some great ones in that price please ask them if they would PM me to sort our an order. I won't put what the avatars will wear in here just poses and art I'd like done smile --> Art of Me and Stephy. --> Art of me and Rosie Cotton with her head in my lap and her looking up at me while I pet her hair --> Art of me, Stephy, Chels and Nanako as a happy family whee (Stephy = mum and Chels and Nanny are my sisters) --> Art of me and my Queenie krisslanza --> Art of Prilly dreaming bout me >< --> Art of me curled up as a kitty in Crys lap (maybe my head on a kitty's body? or a mini me?) Thank you so much for atleast looking here smile l)ark Cell · Sat May 13, 2006 @ 07:31pm · 3 Comments

	Funny as hell ><
	Funny as hell ><


OK so I just have to show you all these. they are truely great http://tinyurl.com/zqmk4 This one is a video of a real life Mario. >< sofar everyone I've shown has laughed there a off >< http://youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D7KYex6PMiEs and this one is one I put on there >< it's entitled Deaf Kareoke. I'll let you figure it out. it's funny XD l)ark Cell** · Mon May 08, 2006 @ 08:44pm · 0 Comments


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