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Answers to the FAQ
As a former Catholic school girl myself, I feel it is important to clear up any misconceptions or misinformations that society may have. I have had the following questions asked to me before. Be sure to do likewise if you have any questions too. (Warning: the following material is 100% fictitious, I'm totally joking when I write this)
Are they all lesbians?
No, nor do they engage in lesbian sex. Such actions occur in female prisons, not schools, although I can understand confusing the two. While young ladies do not fornicate with each other, they do make out. This is done in order to learn and practice kissing.
What other things do Catholic school girls do together?
Do to limited space, school girls must share showers. As such, after gym class there are just so many naked, perky, young girls pressed up against each other in confined areas, dripping wet.
Do the uniforms foster sexual deviance?
Yes, plaid stimulates the libido.
Do the uniforms look anything like the one in Brittany Spears debut video, Hit Me Baby One More Time?
No, do to school dress code policies. However, since most of a Catholic school girl's life consists of dressing, undressing, and knitting exciting underwear, you can be assured all of them wear elaborate lingerie under the uniform.
Sweaty pillow fights?
Yes, but they are never photographed.
GEORGE FORMAN CAN KISS MY a**!, Meckennah Fellure
MKNA · Sun Nov 30, 2008 @ 08:46pm · 0 Comments |
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The best boy advice, EVER! |
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Need help keeping your boyfriend? Use these tips!
1. Communication It's the fundamental foundation for relationships. If you wish to build a strong one with the boy you fancy, be sure to:
- Call him often and talk to him for hours at a time. It lets him know that he is your everything. Does he have homework? A test to study for? Does he need to care for his sick parents or look after his siblings? Tough! You're trying to build a relationship here! Nevermind what other relationships of his you may damage to facilitate your own.
- Ask him what he's thinking ... constantly. When he's eating, when he's trying to sleep, when he's driving, when he's reading. It's important for him to realize that his words matter to you!
2. Mystery
A guy likes a girl who is mysterious. It is intriguing for a guy to figure out something else wonderful about the girl through the process and not all at one time. It is surprising and keeps him from getting bored.
So, next time he asks you what's wrong, tell him "nothing" and don't let him know if he's upset you somehow. Anyway, as the man you love, he should instinctively know anyhow.
This advice seems to conflict with communication, doesn't it? Worry not! Your behavior does not need to have any rational basis behind it. It's what you feel, not what makes sense.
3. Take care of him
Men like to be taken care of just as much as women do. They are often drawn to women that remind them of dear old Mom.
4. Your ex-boyfriend
Be sure to mention him often. Men love it when they are compared to other men.
5. Appreciate him
Can he change a tire? Chew gum and walk? Well let him know that he's so talented! Remember, men just love to be praised.
Micro-manage his every move. Guys love it when women act possessive. Ask him where he's been. Why hasn't he called you? Who was that girl at the cash register?
6. Make him feel needed
This can be accomplished through a number of ways:
Feign weakness. That jar is just sealed too tight for your limp wrists to open! Let the big, strong man do it for you and be sure express appreciation for his big, strong hands. Other objects include doors (the opening there-of), boxes, crates, and furniture. It will make his day.
7. Feign Ignorance
Guys hate it when girls are as smart as or smarter than them; it makes them feel inferior. Men need to feel in charge, so let him make all the decisions. Have him order both your meals, have him plan the activities, and let him set the pace of your relationship. Remember, only spinsters think!
Spreading the love, Meckennah Fellure
MKNA · Sun Nov 30, 2008 @ 08:28pm · 0 Comments |
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Rules For Being Human.
1. You will receive a body. You don't get to choose it, sorta like the claw machine game, you never know what toy you will get from it
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "LIFE."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Like when your dad tries to build a treehouse for you, the mistake, it's unsafe, lesson ask mom
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. If the stove is on and you put your hand on it, you will get burnt. I know, sucks right?
5. Learning lessons does not end. By the time you're a senoir citizen you have a doctren
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." The same story as the grass is always greener on the other side. My lawn is so green, your eyes can't see it
7. Other people are mirrors of you. Everybody shows certain aspects of you, like Oprah she's when you have a good hair day or Rosie O'Donald when you have a bad hair day
8. What you make of your life is up to you. Some being above us gave you some tools, now build him a god damn shed
9. Your answers lie within you. Yup, only you can find your answers
10. You will forget all this.
MKNA · Sun Nov 30, 2008 @ 08:19pm · 0 Comments |
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