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roller coaster ride we call life
so my life is officially a roller coaster ride... the love of my life is gone probably forever and i somehow got a gf at school who is a girl i hardly know met her 2 days latter some how we are going out cause the stupid freshmen was like "oh yall should go out!" im up and down at the same time its like a corkscrew and a loop mixed its not fun... i really like my gf and she is awesome just dont love her yet.... i miss my ex who broke my heart but i dont think i would go back out with her if i was offered the chance because of how i know she wont change... and as mean as it is i hope she gets hurt to make it even but i wouldnt care if she didnt get hurt... she is still a good friend... i think anyways she doesnt return calls much and we hardly talk unless we are going out.... known her from 3rd grade and no one knows her as well as i do and no one will love her as much as i do... but water under the bridge life moves on hopefully my gf and i will last... but the highlight of my life right now is getting my class ring... best way to put how i feel is its perfect but i cant enjoy it... i know i should be happy everything is going right but i just cant seem to feel it... i got a knot in my stomach as big as my fist and oddly enough i think its cause i wanna see my gf but i cant... it does make me sad i think i might love her but still not sure... waiting for the right time to say it and to kiss her but idk when its right... i wanna make it perfect but every time i see her its just so non-romantic and all =/... another good thing in my life is that not only did i just move into a new house and i get a bigger room i get to be on the same street as a 2 of my friends AND my gf is in the neighborhood.... OH and i get to take the couch from the old house we were gonna toss clean it up and put it in my room along with an old entertainment center ^_^ and i got my own bathroom im in love with my new room just gotta clean it up and get the stuff in it... another thing that is good is i FINALLY fixed my computer for the most part... down side? stuff with my ex... and yeah thats it... i think i might start meditating more often... and im just kinda typing what comes to mind.... no one will probably read this... comment if you do and ill send ya some gold or something wink
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