Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Subscribe to this Journal
Quotes!


naughtyangel1982
Community Member
avatar
0 comments
Abuse of Any Kind!
Several types of abuse include:

* Spiritual abuse: abusive or aberrational practices identified in the behavior and teachings of some churches, spiritual and religious organizations and groups.
* Sexual abuse: The improper use of another person for sexual purposes, generally without their consent or under physical or psychological pressure (also, child sexual abuse, whether abused by parents, those in loco parentis or strangers).
* Physical abuse: Where one person inflicts physical violence or pain on another.
* Verbal abuse: When a person uses profanity, demeaning talk, or threatening statements.
* Emotional abuse or psychological abuse: coercion, humiliation, intimidation, relational aggression, parental alienation or covert incest: Where one person uses emotional or psychological coercion to compel another to do something they do not want, or is not in their best interests; or when one person manipulates another's emotional or psychological state for their own ends (see battered person syndrome), or commits psychological aggression using ostensibly non-violent methods to inflict mental or emotional violence or pain on another.
* Drug abuse: the misuse of drugs, alcohol or other substances, usually a form of addiction. Law enforcement officials, among others, often define drug abuse as "any" use of illegal drugs, whether or not use is actually harmful to the user or to anyone else.
* Child abuse: Abuse, usually physical, emotional or sexual, directed at a child.
* Spousal abuse (or domestic violence): Abuse, usually physical, or psychological abuse, directed at one's domestic partner.
* Elder abuse: Abuse, most often physical or in the form of psychological threats, directed at the elderly, especially in nursing homes and similar institutions.
* Human rights abuse: Violation of human rights.
* Animal abuse: Abuse or cruelty directed at animals.
* Legal abuse: Vexatious litigation or malicious prosecution to retaliate, coerce, or emotionally/financially harm a person.

* Internet abuse includes a wide range of inappropriate online behavior, such as unsolicited promotional email, intrusion attempts, and phishing.

As you can see there are many forms of abuse and it happens everywhere in many different ways. I myself have dealt with emotional/verbal.physical and sexual abuse. As a child growing up with many learning diabilities I was told I was stupid and not smart enough and ignorant. Not by my parents but by other kids my age and by teachers I had through the years. Through hearing people say that about me in my early years I have grown to now say and think it to myself. When faced with hard things I immediatly tell myself I am not smart enough to do it,Telling myself that throughout my life has lead to depression and not feeling good enough.That is a hard thing to overcome but little by little I am making strides to over come that and realize I am smart enough to do alot of things.

Three years ago I was on a plane on my way to Switzerland, I was sitting very comfortably in my seat, I was sitting next to a girl that was nice and we started talking and then at some point early in the flight a boy my age came over by the girl i was talking to and I and asked if he could sit in the seat in the middle of the two of us.We both said yes. He then sat down and started talking to the both of us. The other girl decided to put on earphones and watch a movie and then go to sleep,so I was stuck with this boy sitting next to me talking to me. He began asking me very personal questions about my dating life and my sex life. He kept telling me I need a boyfriend to have sex with. I then decided I no longer wanted to talk to this boy anymore so I put on my earphones and started watching the movie. This boy also decided to watch a movie or pretend like he was going to. He kept playing with my tv and then he started putting his head on my shoulder and I pushed it off everytime and he would just laugh. Then i put a blanket over me and started watching my movie again, the boy left me alone for a few minutes. And then all of a sudden i felt his hand on my thigh, I pulled it off and told him not to do it again. I recovered myself and turned away from him and again I felt his hand on my thigh rubbing up and down it, I again pulled his hand off and told him to stop. I then decided to try and go to sleep, I had been asleep for a while and then I felt his hand in my skirt and trying to get in my panties, I immedietly woke up and told him to leave me alone and not to touch me. I fell asleep once again and again was awoken by his hand fully in my panties. I again woke up this time I pulled his hand out and covered my lower half completely with the blanket wrapping it around. I then went to sleep again and this time I woke up with his hand down my shirt,I woke up and pulled his hand away from me. I then got a second blanket and wrapped it around my upper half. At that point he couldnt do anything more to me so he went to sleep and I went to sleep. A few hours went by and I woke up and the boy was sleeping and I quietly got up and went to the bathroom and began to just cry. On my way back to my seat a flight crew asked me if I was okay and I scared and ashamed told them yes I was okay. I then sat down and the boy was awake and was scared I told on him. I became mad at him and told him not to talk to me or touch me ever again. He kept putting his head on my shoulder and asked why I was mad at him and I just pushed it off and didnt say anything more to him. Finally we arrived in Switzerland and he got off the plane and I just sat and waited until everyone was off. I went on and tried to live normally but it hit me hard and I couldnt handle it anymore. I went into a deep depression and withdrew. I didnt tell anyone it happened for several weeks and then I finally did and found out everyone was very supportive and wanted to make sure I was going to be okay. I had nightmares and couldnt eat and didnt want to be alone anywhere. I had a hard time taking showers because I was then naked and felt vulnerable. I then began counseling and learnd it wasnt my fault he did this to me I had no blame. I also learned how to be more assertive in saying No and meaning it.I still to this day completely regret not having the courage to stand up for myself and tell someone what was happening right away, but I also know that I felt very ashamed and felt it was my fault and that is why I didnt say anything.

Two years ago I decided to join an online bdsm site (that I wont mention). I was very niave and started talking to this man and without knowing him as much as I should have I agree to meet with him and scene with him. He picked me up in his car and drove very very fast to his house which was an hour away from my house. As soon as we got to his house he started touching me and taking my clothes off without any discussion. I got him to slow down a bit and talk to me. When we decided to go forward with the scening, he tied my arms behind my back and tied my legs together and then blind folded me and put duct tape over my mouth. So at this point I cannot move and cant say anything. He then began to hit me with everything he had around him. He then told me he was gonna get something to drink. He came back and continue to hit me with things and then put brand new unused clothes pins on my chest and moved and tried to show that it hurt alot but he didnt notice or didnt care. Then he put a rope around my shoulders and hung it to his ceiling fan. He left me that way for a while and then took me down and undid everything accept the gag and blindfold. He then put me on my knees over the couch and began to hit me very hard with objects. Then he took the blindfold off and i began to cry and he asked if i was okay and i shook my head no and he decided it was cute how i did that and continued to hit me harder and harder. I then collasped on the floor and he then stopped. He then took the gag off and asked me if i wanted a sip of his drink. I said yes thinking it was water and it turned out to be an acoholic drink. That was his third one of the night. He then got me dressed and put me in his car and kept trying to touch me and I pushed him away.I got home and I had bruises all over my back and thighs and my chest was black and blue. I didnt report him to the police because I again felt it was all my fault. In this instance I did have some fault in it only that I should have gotten to know him way more before allowing anything physical to happen. The abuse I endored was not my fault that was his.

By now I am sure you are wondering why I felt like I needed to share these stories. Well for two reasons. One is because I always feel better when I write and get my thoughts out. The other big reason I wrote this is because I know I am not the only one here that has endored abuse. I wanted to write this to let those that have or are now endoring abuse that it is NOT your fault you have no blame in the situation. I had to learn and am still learning that I have more worth then to allow someone to hurt me in anyway. Please know you are worth more then that and you deserve to be happy. I have been working on feeling like I deserve a happy life. If you have endored abuse of any kind please know you have nothing to be ashamed about and please get the help you need to work through the hurt you have gone through. If you are endoring any kind of abuse at the moment please tell someone you trust and get the help you need to make that situation stop. You deserve that! I am sorry if this blog is too much to read and too personal but I really wanted to get this out.





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum