Why do I feel this way? I don't want to.
Or do I? I like being in love
although it causes me pain.
Why shouldn't it hurt anyhow.
My life has always had some pain. This pain has good attached to it too.
But in the end, it doesn't matter.
I am here. I am in love. And so it is.
Do I hurt him, does it hurt him?
I don't know. He keeps to himself more than he used to.
Perhaps I should too.
just fade away into the nothing that binds and keeps these feelings
in a muted silence
forever sealed in a velvet black of ice
what else can there be?
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Rai Shan's Journal
Rai Shan
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