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Jacks breathing was hoarse and deep, the rain tapping on an open window began to beat heavily with his heart.
"A... baby?" he choked as he slouched down beside a pretty blonde girl sitting aside an open fire. Samantha, together they had been a very happy couple for almost three years now, a pleasent pair but dark clouds often lingered under the smiling faces.
"suprised?" sam whispered. It wasn't that Jack wasn't at all pleased with the news, though fatherhood wasn't in his to-do list, just a little...
"unexpected?" sam looked up this time whilst Jack flinched a little as his eyes were swallowed into a shallow pool of black. Her hair seemed darker from this angle, the light from the fire only seeming to make her skin more pale than it already was and her cold skin never thawing with the heat. An almost vampiric quality, shining from her long dead smile.
Like picking up broken glass, Jack preciously lifted her from the floor, his skinny fingers numbing at her touch. Gritting his teeth firmly and enduring an sharp stab of pain in his chest, he held her in his arms. She didn't smile, the moon didnt shine for them, it was the darkest moment of jubilation the gods could bear to witness.
Jack took a deep breath, risking everything he leaned into her ear slowly and whispered sweetly, "i love you."
A dark shadow poured over the room as the heat leaked away with the desire to live, replaced by a constant longing to lay the night to an eternal rest. Peace forever, alone.
She didn't even lift her face to him, her cruel malice tempted many wicked acts on the foolish being, clinging desperatly to a soul long drowned in its own misery. Instead, she raised a blood red fingernail and grased up his chin, piercing the skin and scaring more than his flesh. Without goodbyes, sam was gone, left to waste in the pit of an empty frozen room, where her breath drew misty clouds of steam and the darkest soul would fear to enter it. Where her tears became ice under her eyes and the long drooping moan struck fear into a hollow night.
Jack fell heavily onto a warm, comfy couch and reached out for an opened bottle of vodka from the well layed table, throwing heavy amounts done his throat carelessly...
It is not in the nature of humans to even begin to describe how it feels to spill your heart 1000 times and 1000 times again, only to have it disregarded, thrown to the floor as if you could say it to anyone. Of course for some men and women, the pain it causes is too much to live with, causing them to lose themselves, become cold.

Inhuman...

A cold tear of blood dropped sadly from his cheek, a brush of cool breeze cushioning its fall, slowly descending to the hard pavement. The moment seemed to last forever, as if time was caught by a pin, pulling itself apart as it tugged away. Jack felt it too his heart decaying under it all. A rush of panic consumed his body as it fell to the ground, pushed under by the weight of the world.
A scream, a woman. It echoed in his mind, rebounding off the walls of his skull like a ping pong ball, ringing like the ongoing bells of a distant church. "goodbye lilia..." whimpered another, an unfamilliar man.
Slowly Jack summoned up enough strength and courage to lift his head, there his eyes widened at the horrific scene layed bare before him. Hundreds of victims littered the ground with their own flesh as a horde of soldiers carrying AK's piled in the cave from a far off electric door, shooting on sight. "no surviviors!" jack heard one call, "its infected them all!" another cried in terror. rounds and rounds of ammunition striking into the corpses of the unaware prisoners. Then, without warning a sudden blast shot off from the center of the room throwing the soldiers against the walls. Was it salvation?
As the smoke cleared and the harsh silence sifted in, Jack caught his first real glimpse of the massacre. Every body was stripped down to the last hollow bone, many limbs were severed ("they must have been carrying knives" jack thought.) and one girl was stolen of her eye. Her lifeless corps bleeding the deepest red, all her sins, forgotten.
Jacks mind spun like a compass, why was it he who was the sole survivor? A twitching pain in the pit of his stomach made him wish he had died with them, his heart ached for every fallen soul that crossed his blood-led path. Another body. A young boy. Still clutched an old, torn bear wreaking of the stench of death.
Suddenly, his attention turned to a young woman laying limp against the side of the cave, spluttered and choked blood onto another victim beside her. In shock, Jack pulled an abandoned gun from beneath a dead security guards belt and pounded 3 bullets into her already dying heart, unawares. Her scream, so solemn. It echoed in his mind, rebounding off the walls of his skull like a ping pong ball, ringing with the ongoing bells of the distant church. "No Jack..." she whispered with her last breath.

bumpeth the journal!

someone asked me yesterday; "what ya bin up to friend?"

"well young one, ive been dying" i replied most solemly.

with a stunned look he mumbled then wth a curious look asked me; "so, what does it feel like?"

for a moment i was silent, after debating to reveal gods greatest secret i told him; " no human can ever understand, you see, its so inhuman they couldnt bear the thought of it."

by the look on his face i could tell he wanted a REAL answer; "well my friend its like having...

a spork shoved up your a**!"

today he stands in the exact same spot, in two days ill call an ambulance.

would you care if i always cried,
would you notice if i never smiled,
would you feel my decay in time,
would you love me... lost inside.

no one reads my journal? why do i bother? neutral

((the end))

The deepest black eyes cant see,
The earth that meets the stars.
Wandering men are but a dream,
The living feel so far.

Judgement glares an angry eye,
To those whose hearts are black.
Upon the pure there shines a light,
For the darkness they do lack.

Fifty lives to the day,
Twenty thousand to the year.
Wisdom catches up with age,
As our end draws near.

Then before the silence,
before our great light fades.
Young and raw, you know no more,
But you'll never be the same.

The deepest black eyes cant see,
the earth that meets the stars.
Wandering men found in your dreams,
Can tell you you've gone far...

w00t in a bucket! any objections?