A couple months ago I met this guy at a concert. He was really sweet and had this cool kind of attitude that made you feel like he ran his own life. Later I found out that he was actually the bassist of the band I was going to check out that night! I was beginning to have misgivings about asking him to grab a quick bite to eat at the little restaurant at the corner. I decided this would not be the proper action at the time.
I met the band that night and became fast friends with each guy. We had a ton of fun and ever since then I've been attending each local show to see them and hang out again.
Now I've tried so hard to give up the notion of telling mr. bassist that I like him, but something eats away at me as time passes and I don't say anything.
Just recently the band and local road crew went out to a restaurant to celebrate our success of a great year. There was a total of fifteen of us, four being the band members, sitting at several square tables pushed together to make enough seating for the large party. I had chosen to sit on the wall side near the middle to the end.
@o o X o o o o o o
==============
o o o * & o o @@o
X represents him * represents me
@ represents the band & is another girl I know
We talked for most of the time we were there. When it came time to leave, we all pitched in for the bill and I excused myself to the washroom only to find the party leaving as I was coming out. I quickly rushed out the door to catch up. However, he was waiting for me at the door with the other girl I know before I could make it outside. [Granted he was probably waiting with her and not for me, but one can only hope!]
The three of us made our way outside and to our cars. The other girl had actually come with the band because she lives really close to their apartment and has known them much longer than anyone else there. I started to trail behind on our way to the cars, as I tend to do not only when in groups, but especially around guys I don't even have the guts to talk to. But he actually slowed down and kept the conversation going through the short walk to our cars. The two of them were the only ones to say goodbye, his being the first.
So I'm at a crossroad here: should I just go for it and tell him I like him and see what he says, possibly risking everything that I have good with the band? Or should I just let this go and move on, maintaining my friendship with the band?
I value both the friendship with the band and the option to be with the bassist. Am I too hopeful in thinking he's at least slightly interested and just waiting for me to make a move?
And before I get all the lectures stating that dating a band member is bad news I want to tell you all that I have thought this one through thoroughly. I know I will be faced with a ton of time alone, hardly ever seeing him. And I am also aware there are a ton of screaming fangirls at each one of the shows that would pose as a potential threat for most. But I do also know that if he really likes me back, we could make it work. I’d be willing to drive the hour into the city just to see him; after all, I do that with the concerts anyway. I think the good that could come from this outweighs any bad that would come if he said yes.
It’s the “no” I’m worried about. By confessing my feelings, I’m put in a vulnerable state that I have always hated and tried so hard not to be in. I also risk the current blossoming friendship that I have for the band. I also help out at the shows so it would also make things pretty awkward for a while.
I still think I should get to know him more before I confirm these feelings as “love”. I only just met him a few months ago and currently have seen him a total of maybe seven times. The other problem I have would be going about acting on the wish of getting to know him better. I’m not quite sure how to approach him and ask him out to lunch. I’ve already tried a few indirect approaches with the band, inviting them to a local car show, lunch, dinner [twice] and just to stop by with a refill of their favorite Starbucks blend. To no avail have I even gotten a bite. Most of the reasons why can be contributed to the level of exhaustion the band puts themselves in. I understand completely, especially when they had just drove in from out of state that morning.
I’m beating myself silly thinking about every angle I can hit with this dilemma. I’m ready to move forward, with or without telling him. Yet I don’t want to regret not telling him and never knowing what could have been.
WHAT DO I DO? DOES HE LIKE ME LIKE I LIKE HIM?
 sakara maxter · Wed Feb 18, 2009 @ 08:00pm · 1 Comments |
