well this week has been crap except when Sensuifu69 gets on always my ray of sunshine but everyday i hope he does not get off because once i get off i get none stop guilt trips getting yelled at and chewed out by my mother on how I AND I ALONE ruined her birthday when i did not do so yeah my sister got me to use my bad mood on her bu that was because my older sister was talking to me like i was nothing but dirt also talking to me as if my body is hers and i HAVE to do as she says
every time my mom said stop i stopped talking but my sister would continue talking but because her and i sound so much alike my mom thinks it was my sister who stopped talking and it was me who would not shut up also according to my mom it is MY FAULT that she got no cake and ice cream that day because I DID NOT bake her one when we did not have cake mix for it nor did i have the time after i got off the computer i went got ready took a shower washed my hair brushed my teeth styled my hair put body oil and powder on i got dressed put my falling apart shoes on and by the time i was done my dad was yelling for us to get going it was a last minute decision and if i would have had a cake baking it would have been late in the day before it was done my mom wanted to go to down town and there was just no way for us to have had baked a cake AND go to down town in just 1 day but my mom thinks that is not true and joy for joys now here it comes sunday and my sister wants to get my mom cake and ice cream and my mom being the 2 year old baby she is acting she says if we get or make her a cake she is throwing it out the door and her reasoning is
''i am sick and tired of how you guys treat me i wish i was just dead then you guys would have to even bother you always treat me like i mean nothing to you and why why do you guys treat me like this?''

and well here is my thinking

''wth? here i stay up with you every night sometimes for full days at a time no sleep i do what ever you ask me and yes some time i get fustrated because you sit there and wait for me to just sit down or get back to to doing a chore to call for me again to get you something else and you will do that all day several times a day and even when i am sore or can't walk you do it and yet i still do it i do not pull like what my brothers pull and blow you off or ignore you and almost say f you no i do not i stick with you and do that i hardly sleep as it is and when i want just one friken day to gather up well needed rest you get angry because i am neglecting you? seriously? and now you have the BALLS to say i treat you badly? really mom? '' then after i put thoes thoughts aside i sit there hiding my anger and hurt as silent tears fall down my face because it is like she does not even care about what i do for her she is never happy with anything we do or with anything we get her
we can get her 1 thousand dollar items when we CAN NOT AFFORD IT and she just complains once she gets bored with it NOT ONCE have i done that...
she also wants us to get lost on sunday and leave her home alone yeah telling me to do that will send me to aus or colorado both places i will be happy at and both places will have people i know who will accept me... even if i have to live on the streets if my mom wants me gone fine i am gone but she better not get mad at me for it because it is her own damn fault...