today (17th of December) i found out somthing horrible. my mum told me that this morning my 20 year old cousin, Nicole, died from a heart attack. i was so sad. it felt like i had lost something precious to me.
i had a friend over and i did not want to cry in front of her. so i went in to the bathroom and let it out. when i went back into the room with my friend i saw her eyes were red. could she have heard me crying. i hate to let people see me cry. it makes me feel horrible. i like to be left alone to cry. afterwards i felt like i was going to spew. i have never lost any one as close to me as she was.
i only saw her at christmas and i was going to her house for christmas day. i couldnt wait to see her again. but now i wont see her ever again.
she smoked often and my younger cousin and i tried to stop her smoking but she wouldnt listen. i think this provocted her heart attack. it is terrible news to hear right before christmas. everyone is celebrating the holiday but how can they when someone just died and that person was too young to even think about death.
does this meen my other cousin, Kelly, is next? Kelly was very very close to Nicole. they were the same age and hanged out often. Kelly does drugs and ran away from home for about 3 months and has only just come home. then if she dies would i be next????
i am the the middle child in my family. here is a list of my cousins (oldest to youngest) Sean, Adam, Nicole, Kelly, Rachel (me), Georgia, Lisa (sis) and Billy.
Nicole had a hard life working full time as a car washer, in a bikini even in winter. she skipped out on vcd and got drunk lots of times at bars. her older brother, Sean, had to save her all the times she got drunk. he got bashed for it by the guys. i loved her so much and will never forget her. her memory will always live on in me.
till next time, Rachel
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evil_fuzzle2
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