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Midnight Sun: First Sight |
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Hi, guys. After some investigation, I've managed to get myself on a list for a communal copy of Twilight through my friend who knows a girl who'd be willing to lend me one.
Yes, I know this seems complicated. But it means that I'm getting a new copy... eventually. However, I don't have it yet, so I can't celebrate by just getting an new entry up for you guys.
So, as a compromise, I checked out the specifics for doing a set of rants for Midnight Sun. So now I'm sitting here with the partial draft open in another tab.
Length-wise, it couldn't be better. The first 12 chapters of Twilight as told from Edward's point of view. Since I've already done a first read through of chapter 12, there's very little danger of major perception altering spoilers. I don't really know how it reads, since I haven't read it yet, but the adobe file seems legible enough.
So I've decided to do a trial run, a sort of "Commentary Special" of the first chapter of Midnight Sun. Then, if I have further delays, I can use them to fill in for my normal entries.
Without further ado:
Limes in the Dark: a Midnight Sun Commentary
Not as good as the original of course, but not bad for a first try. (Yes, the Lime is sparkling.)
So today I'm going to do a fairly literal running commentary. I haven't even done a pre-reading. So you guys are getting my impressions as I think them up. And you're getting all of them due to no trimming process. Sorry if it seems a bit messy.
This could go badly.
Page 1
Okay, so Edward views High School as a kind of Hell. He gets bored easily. Okay, I understand that, I mean he's socially cut off from every one else and he already knows everything they're learning.
Which actually leads to an interesting question. Why are the Cullens still in school? Couldn't they just register for a Home school permit and be done with it? It'd minimize possible damage and it's not like any one them actually need to learn high school level anything by this point. Online schooling could work for that even if they did.
Well, Now we get to deal with the main addition to the narrative now that Eddy-Weddy's telling the story. He can read minds. Now, interesting thing here, he's trying to tune out people (Perfectly normal I suppose) but he's not mentioning any words, only pictures, which I find a good detail. I mean, Putting your thoughts into words is a mental effort. Most of people think is in feelings and pictures. Let's hope this continues.
Hehe. He used the phrase "Sheepmales." No, wait that was a misread. It was actually Sheep-like males. I prefer my version. And Sheeple. That's another good one. Anyways, he's getting the relay on Bella through the Cafeteria. (Why he doesn't just look over? Because he's convinced that she's just a shiny new toy who will go away after a while. I like this Edward.)
So now we find out he's tuning out his family because he's "Trying to give them what privacy [he] could" by which he means "Feels guilty about breaking into their most secret thoughts." But he's having little success and listening anyways. Oh goody, we get a profile of the Cullens. Maybe it's just me, but this seems a tad lazy.
On the other hand, having never actually "met" any of the other Cullens in my Twilight chapters, it should be pretty interesting.
First off, Rosalie. Wow, I think Forks has started to affect her brain. I mean, seriously. She's admiring herself in some one's glasses. Narcissist much? I'm sort of agreeing with Edward here: "Her mind was a shallow pool with few surprises." It's not nice of him to think that, of course. But from this impression, it may be more accurate than unfair. Maybe there's some subconscious stuff going on we can't see? (Please?)
Page 2
Next, Emmet. I've heard him mentioned a few times, but he and Jasper have never made much of an impression on me. So let's see what his mini-character profile has to say. Okay, so he's miffed about losing some wrestling match. Blah, Blah, yadda, yadda.
Oh, here's something. Edward says that he doesn't feel guilty intruding on Emmet's mind because he wouldn't think something without saying or acting on it. Does this mean that he's actually responsible enough to know that people shouldn't be judged on thoughts that they to an extent can't control?
No, apparently it just means that he sometimes feels guilty knowing things people want to keep secret from him. I guess he doesn't get many surprise parties then, huh?
Jasper is... suffering apparently. No, seriously, that's the entire thing.
Oh and Alice has thought in for a little chat. Something about "Him." I assume it's suffering Emmet. I mean Jasper. Damn, why can't I get that right? Anyways, it sounds like Edward is doing a bit of thought surveillance for Alice. (Who does he think he is? The Thought Police?) I guess from the context that he's having more trouble than the rest with the whole "Not eating people" thing. Let's see where this goes.
The word "experiment" was used. Is this Jasper's first time at school or something?
Page 3
(Holy Crap, This chapter is 22 pages long?)
Okay, so it's a time lapse thing. Two weeks since the last hunting gig. (Still don't know why Jasper is the problem. But let's just go with it.) Oh, here we go. A girl walked to a nearby table and she smells tasty apparently, because looks like Jasper's about to lose it.
Edward to the rescue! Good thing he was invading your privacy so that he could kick your chair when you started to have... what would you call them. It's not really naughty thoughts in the traditional sense of the word, but bloody thoughts doesn't seem appropriate either. We'll go with naughty thoughts, since they're not nice thoughts for a vampire to have.
Okay, so Alice sees the future, okay. Makes me wonder, really, does she see the future as it will be, or how it will be if no one changes their behavior? If she told you that you were going to fail a test, would you still fail the test even if you reacted to the information by studying really hard? The sheer amount of theory you have to work with when you make some one able to see the future, it's so annoying. Well, I suppose the mechanics will either be revealed in practice, or not as the case may be.
Aw, Eddy-Weddy is all protective of Alice since they're both freaks of nature. Wait, did that come out sounding wrong? Yes, yes it did. But it was pretty close to a direct quote so shame on him.
Page 4
Okay, now Alice is giving some details on the girl. Whose name is Whitney. Dear God, I think I might know this person. Parent inviting other people to garden parties, Check.
Oh crap. Bella Alert! Ixnay the issionmay. Oh, here we go. I suppose this is this book's "First Sight" as it were. Let's see where this go. Oh, he just assumes it's Bella thinking about him. I don't know whether that's a resigned tone or a bit of a puff to his male ego. So he's figured out it was actually Jessica. I can't tell if he pities her or if he just wants to not be able to hear the thoughts of people who were crushing on him.
Oh god. No wonder Edward's insane.
Page 5
Now he's having day dreams of what he'd like to do to Jessica. (It's not eating her by the way, it's just telling her that he'd like to eat her and then watching the reaction.) Oh, more eavesdropping.
Jessica is kind of a p***k. Well, I suppose we can't really blame her for being a tad jealous of Bella's center of attention-ness. (Mikey thinks she's shiny which doesn't help either.) Edward get's bored and relays to the others that Jessica is showing off their dirty laundry again. You know, maybe they should wash their laundry. Oh, wait, I think they're talking about the Cullens being beautiful anti-social hermits.
Then he reaches out to see what Bella thinks of his family's laundry (That sounds so awkward) to make sure she wasn't curious enough to make a hasty retreat necessary. I guess he's in charge of looking for people who might be problems. (He IS the Thought Police.)
Page 6
Oo. Bella makes no noise. Freaky. I can sort of understand why he's surprised. I don't think he's used to people not thinking. I mean not being able to hear people thinking.
Hm... "We were beautiful to them, our intended prey." This seems to support my theory about vampire beauty. You see, it makes no sense that vampires are all beautiful. Seriously. It's not like you'd check and grade them on hotness before turning some one. No, so they have to "become" beautiful somehow. My pet idea: Vampires aren't actually all that beautiful, they just look beautiful to prey so that they can attract them more easily. It's a hunting technique.
But nothing more about that on this page. Just Edward having a freak out because Bella doesn't seem to think. Then he breaks concentration when Mike burbles something about a CD.
Page 7
Oh my gosh! Don't any of these people have lives? Eric, Lauren, Ashley, June, seriously, don't you have other things to think about besides Bella? Is She warping the universe to her will or something?
Oh, wait, here we go. Angela is thinking about how much homework she has. Maybe there's still some hope for her after all.
Eddey-Weddy overhears them talking about him, but still can't hear Bella's thoughts. He remarks that Jessica's lucky she doesn't strike his fancy. (I suppose he means something about them "disappearing" but since that didn't really happen to Bella, He's underestimating himself I guess.)
Page 8
And now he's trying to figure out why he has an urge to protect her. And he basically comes up with the explanation that she looks like she needs protecting. Man, I think that he has some *Gasp* Chivalry to thank here. Jeez, Gag me with a spoon. At least he's annoyed too.
"Gah! She's so normal, why can't I hear what she's thinking?" Paraphrased, but still hilarious. And then Rosalie is all like "Come, my Possie!" and Emmet (Not Jasper) is like "Is that person scared of us yet?" And Edward's all like, "Why can't I invade your most personal sanctuary, you...you...normal person? I will read your mind! I swearz it!" (Except to himself, since he can't admit to his siblings that his powers aren't working on miss-supernormal. That would kill his ego.)
And then they left.
Page 9
Every one heads to classes... some of them are seniors...Edward goes to his biology class... Mr. Banner is an idiot.... two degrees in medicine....
Wait. WHAT? Edward has two graduate degrees in MEDICINE? He's a vampire, How the hell does that work? Why did they even let him take graduate classes if he looks like he's seventeen anyways? As a matter of fact, why does he have two? Did he have to update after they invented computers? Why Medicine anyways, why not physics, or chemistry, or, I don't know, psychology or something?
In fact, Carly is a practicing Doctor. Are Vampires just attracted to medical science for some reason? Or does Meyers just want to be able to say her characters are doctors? (My parents are Doctors, technically, Doctor and Doctor. Mathematics and Physics.)
You know, Edward keeps talking about people avoiding the Cullens "By Instinct," I'm I the only one who thinks that, Maybe, just maybe, it might have something to do with the fact that he acts like a jerk? No seriously, I'm going out on a limb here, I know, but I think his attitude might have more to do with it than any sort of self preservation shtick.
The second half of this page can be summed up in one sentence of thought. "Oh my God, She smells" Seriously. He says some other stuff about his humanity leaving him and junk. But it basically all comes down to the fact that she smells tasty.
Page 10
Apparently she smells really tasty. Because he spends the first part of this page trying to impress on the reader how much he wants to kill everyone there just to eat her. There was something about venom. That didn't really make much sense, it's probably a vampire thing. And then he see's his reflection in Bella's eyes. And it distracts him. He's distracted by his reflection...
Wow. Just wow. No, but here it goes on to talk about the monster within... blah, blah, Monster wants to eat Bella. Edward says no. Etc.
Page 11
I really like this page. It's an exceptionally detailed internal plan on how he was going to Kill Bella, Block the door and then systematically destroy all witnesses. You know, "Okay, I get the girl first, kill her painlessly, then I have enough time to block the exit but it will make lots of noise. That'll cause more collateral damage."
Also, he breaks the table with his hand while trying to restrain himself. I don't really understand why no one noticed, since apparently he took the time to break off more of it to obscure his fingerprints and spread the wood chipped across the floor with his feet. Didn't it make any noise or anything?
Page 12
Okay, maybe he'll go after everyone else then. This whole thing rings of "You're tasty, I'll kill you last."
Okay, where is he pulling these figures from anyways? Snap four or five nicks in a second? How exactly does he plan to do that? Clotheslining them while he's running? I can't see him pulling off more than two in that period of time, I don't care how super strong and fast he is.
Okay, now there's inner angsting about people he's killed and his inner monster. He imagines two faces, his monster face and... And...
Carly? What the heck? Why is he imagining Carlisle at a time like this?
Page13
Okay, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing I guess. I really like this discussion of Carly, (Who I gather is Edward's Sire) and of their mutual choice to go vegetarian. It really shows that Edward isn't trying to restrain himself out of any consideration of Bella or the "Collateral Damage" but more out of a respect for Carly and being ashamed of himself for not being able to live up to the expectations of his lifestyle. He gets defiance out of it and actually starts blaming Bella for being born. Some cool rationalizations here.
It's really nice, because it gives a characterization of Edward which, for once, doesn't rely on "Because I love you, Bella," as reason for his abstinence. FINALLY.
Page 14
('m Past the Half Way mark)
He's really having trouble though until... Wait a second, why is he worried about the smell? He's didn't have to breathe. So he doesn't. For the whole period.
And he's really got a beef with Bella. He calls her "Frail woman-child." Which sort of makes him sound like he's speaking old Norse. I thought he was from the Twenties, not the Ten-Twenties.
Page 15
Now he's Bargaining with himself. "Maybe I can wait until we're alone. No, Mike would notice." Or "Maybe when she get's home, no one would have to die."
Jeez. He's having fun doing this isn't he? At least he makes a comment at the end that let's us know he's realized that saving everybody else won't make him a saint by any means.
Page 16
Aw... Edward Hates himself. I haven't quite decided if his Narration is more or less annoying than Bella's yet.
Blushing appears to be a problem for Vampires. It's the whole "Blood pools in face" bit that really gets them. Edward get out of there as soon as the bell rights and proceeds to his car, with the intent of skipping the rest of his classes to cool down I guess.
How exactly do the Cullens escape from truancy Laws anyways? Wouldn't being home schooled be so much easier?
He listens to music and delights in sanity. Hurrah.
Page 17
"OMG! That's right! I'm a completely rational person and I don't have to kill Bella Swan."
Now he's all in the what if's. Why didn't Alice come and save you from your own weakness? Did she not notice? Was there never really a problem after all? Maybe she's used up her hall passes for the Quarter. No one believes you when you say you've really got to pee right after lunch.
No, she was just concentrating on Jasper (Not Emmet) and what He was going to do. Edward is ashamed of himself for wanting to kill his classmates. Ashamed and embarrassed. He wants to make sure no one find out about it so he's going to keep his Bella problem a secret. Isn't it nice to be able to keep secrets? Not like every one else in this Book. They can't keep secrets from you, can they? You know, I think Ed might just be a bit of a liar-liar pants-on-fire. Hypocritical to boot. (Like some on else we know...)
Yes! Like Light. (You wondered how I was going to work that in, didn't you?) I don't think it'll take too long of Edward's current mind set to get some Pathological Lying going on. Lying to Bella, Lying to His Family. He's got quite a Facade.
Page 18
So now he decided to end this once and for all, he goes to the office (Attendance or Guidance I wonder. Or does Forks just have a single multipurpose place?) ambushes the secretary and...
You thought I was going to say Kills her, didn't you? But, no, he just tries to get his schedule changed. Oh, here's something, he suggests physics. So maybe he's not such a bio nut after all. It can't work of course, or we'd have no story.
Page 19
Jeez, even the teachers complain about their perfectnesses apparently. Why aren't they homeschooled, again? This seems like far too much trouble. No, he can't change.
He can't drop the class either. Why, exactly? Not enough credits to graduate. How do they have enough credits to graduate anyways, I mean they never show up for classes, they may get good grades, but at least where I'm from they'd be failed every course automatically for Truancy.
Page 20
(Homestretch)
Bella shows up. She smells, it's bad. Edward doesn't kill anyone.
Page 21
Edward get's in the car with his Sibs. And Drives. Like a Maniac. I don't care how good your reflexes are, you cannot turn a corner going 70 mph. It just doesn't work. Maybe he should take Physics. Maybe Meyers should take some physics. Seriously.
And Alice is getting a bit of understanding into what Eddy-Weddy has been doing today as she sees his future waver between leaving and having Bells for dinner. The rest of the people in the car haven't spoken up yet. I think they're trying to follow by expression. (Not successfully)
Page 22
Alice tells him not to be an idiot. (Not really, but that's basically the result.) And he speeds down the road to leave. It's not exactly clear where he's going. Maybe he's going soul searching. Maybe he's going some where to tear the heads off rats and feel sorry for himself.
Eh, it's really all the same.
BUT. Now I'm done. Yippee! That was really long, guys, I'm not sure you noticed. But since the whole thing is done on PDF it's a bit easier to do it this way. Would you prefer I do stream of consciousness on these entries like this? Or that I read it through and then go back and give you guys the highlights?
 Tesar Eshne · Mon Oct 27, 2008 @ 02:23am · 20 Comments |
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