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I had a dream that Iggy and Aureate were in heaven looking down on me. Both were confused as to why they were there at all, each remembering darkly the worst of their lives. I saw them and wanted to call out to them but I had no voice. Each just stared at ame a while, muttering something inaudible to each other, then went their separate ways, trekking through the clouds.

I tried to follow Aureate on foot, waving my arm at him from below, but he just kept walking, not noticing a thing.

Then I woke up. My son shook me gently and sat me upright. He spooned something warm into my mouth and dabbed at the corner of my mouth with a napkin. I tried to smile at him, but my face was stiff and heavy. After I finished the bowl, he left to get ready for work at the lumberyard. My youngest took his brother's place at my bedside, flipping through some sheets of paper. School doesn't start for him until a little later. By that time my husband would be home from his night shift.

I am not alone for more than thirty minutes a day- unless there is some traffic or someone has to stay late.