today in PE, I sprained my ankle and tore a ligament in my knee for the first time ever. They couldn't get the golf cart inside the tennis courts, so they had to get a wheel chair cause when I put weight on my ankle, I got a sharp pain all through my leg. I felt guilty that I wasn't there to help my team after I left, and couldn't help but think that I should have just gotten up and lived with it. I know, i know, even if I had, I wouldn't be able to walk. But still.
After my grandmother picked me up from school, I had to leave my regular clothes and school books at school. She took me to the doctors to get an X-Ray. It took half an hour to get in to see a doctor, and then he told us to go to get an x-ray. It took 20 minutes to get a room clear for me. The x-rays took 10 minutes. Then, we had to go back to the doctor, and it took another 20 minutes to see him again. He gave me an ankle brace, and said that I needed crutches. They said they could give me crutches right then. My grandma wheeled me out to the car where I waited 20 minutes, before she came back, to turn on the A/C, and went back in for another 15 minutes, came back and said "I'm going to take you home." She drove me home, where I stayed for an hour, before she came home with some work.
I felt guilty that because of me, she missed a whole day of work, which means that she will have even more to do tomorrow. I know that it couldn't be helped, but still.
The crutches arived 20 minutes ago, and when I used them, I fell. We adjusted them, and I fell. I used them to get to my laptop, and I fell.
Tomorrow I have to go to school with them.
When I hurt my leg, I screamed, something I rarely do. I cried because it felt like my leg snapped in half, and I panicked, cause I couldn't feel my leg, so I was sure that I had done something really bad. But more than anything, I felt humiliated, because everyone crowded around me to see what happened.
Now, I'm sitting at the computer. And I just want to die. I don't want people to give me a look. I know that one of the girls in PE with me is going to give me s**t tomorrow because of the crutches. And I know, that I'm going to sour tomorrow, and attack anyone who annoys me.
Knowing that, I want to say this:
Please don't reply to this with a "i'm sorry, get better, here's a hug". It was entirely my fault this has happened, and i deserve this. I now understand the meaning of "Karma is a b***h". Just before the fall, I yelled at one of my good friends, cause I was depressed, and was sick of him always being happy around me, and whenever he's mad, to always come to me.
I apologized this afternoon, but I haven't gotten a reply as of yet.
If you have ever hurt someone, as I have, just remember:
A sprained ankle is one pain, the chain reaction of guilt hurts 1,000,000,000 times more.
Kjemper Ulv Community Member 
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