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My friend Zach made a joke today that I'd complain about anything. I think he might be right. It sort of bugs me. So I'm going to go into the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" mode. However, I'm a bit sneaky, and I'll probably sneak some complaints in anyway. Shucks.

First of all, I'd like to thank my friend Maude. I have never had a friend who did so much for me as she did, and after going a very stressful two weeks without her, I am so glad that she's back. So very glad that she's back. I'd particularily like to thank her for letting me call her tonight and bassically spill everything to her, while she actually cared what I had to say. I'd like to thank her for pitching in some money for me so that I could get a nice outfit for a job interview, and just hanging out with me when I needed her there. There are a million little things that Maude has done for me, and I'm just glad that I've been able to do what I have done for her. I'd go through it all again if she needed me to. She's worth it.

Um... I was going to mention something else. Oh yeah! 9 people read my last journal entry. I didn't even know that 9 people on Gaia knew me. Well, that's not true, more than 9 people know me, but why would most of them read my journal? Dunno. But thanks for reading! I've said it before, but one more time, why don't you post a note and say something? I love comments. And sometimes I even write back to you.

Um... got my pictures scanned onto the computer, thanks to Maude. There in my photobucket acount now, though it's being funky. I'm not gonna explain how, it's not worth it. In the end things work, so all's good.

Just because it deserves to be mentioned: we lost a water polo game today. That doesn't really bother me. The way coach acted/treated the team/treated me bugs me. It's one of the reasons I'm really, really not okay now.

Oh, yeah, and I'd bet any money my period starts in the next week, I'd guess four days. I tend to get overly emotional right before my period. During my period I'm more or less fine, minus cramps, but before I'm a nut case. It's interesting, to say the least. It also leads to me crying in the locker room and having to explain to everyone/garentee everyone that I'm okay. That's also interesting, not so fun though. Especially when I know I'm not okay, but I know that talking to them about it will make things worse.

This is not a complaint: If I seem to be in a bad mood, don't ask me if I'm okay. If I want to talk about it I will, if you ask I'll get pissed. I know you may just be trying to be nice, but sometimes I'm actually not in a bad mood, and you might still ask, and I'll get really mad. Just play it safe.

Again, this is not a complaint, but an explenation.

I'm considering quiting water polo. I just really don't want to. But I'm not having any fun on the team and I'm not actually playing. If the coach isn't going to play me or listen to me I don't want to be there. However, I'm going to wait until the whole evil hormone thing dies down, because I love water polo, and any girl will tell you that this isn't a good time to be making important decsions.

Also, about interviews, I was selected to be intereved for a scholarship thing, they only took 15 people. I'm worried I did bad though. *shrugs* one way or another I'll get over it. But I hope I did okay.

I also dropped my application off at Old Navy. I don't really like Old Navy, but I would like to work there. Why? Because it would give me retail experience that employers will look for later on. Plus it's near home and some of the clothes are cute. Not to mention I just want a job, and I really don't want it to be in fast food. Old Navy's not highering till the end of the month though, so I have a while to wait. That's okay.

Let's go back to saying how great Maude is. Honestly, I don't feel so bad now. I was able to vent and get a response and listen to someone else, too, and it really just feels good. Compairing today to last wednesday tells me how great it is to have her back in town. I missed her so much, just because she's the only one I'd say anything to. I don't have to cover anything up or worry about anything. She gets it. And she's always there for me. If there's anyone I could trust to be for me when I need them, I mean absolutely need them, it's Maude. Of course that's within limits. I wouldn't trust her to save me physically if I needed saving, or some such thing, cancer took it's toll, but she's a sholder to cry on. And I know she cares. I think it means the most because I know that no matter what happens, she still cares. And she can trust me too. I like that she can do that. I miss people putting faith in me about things. Or simply trusting in me. Or hell, simply telling me what's up with their lives. A lot of people are starting to blow me off when it comes to that.

Oh, my friend Zach, I mentioned him at the begining, he's running for class president for next year. So I'm going to try to get people to vote for him. I don't know who his apponent is, I really don't know that many sophomores, but I think he's a cool guy. So everyone chear for Zach.

Oh, and my friend Kathy went to New York over spring break. This doesn't sound like a big deal, especially when I say that the whole concert choir also took a trip there over the last four days, but there are something to keep in mind. For starters, her father is extremely strick and over-protective. By over-protective I mean she's never been allowed to even spend the night at a friend's house. Kathy is one of the most mature and responsible people I know, by the way. She applied to all the top ivy league schools, but didn't get accepted. It was kind of sad, but she's in Bosten U. With a half scholarship ^_^ so things aren't all bad. Anywho, to the point, she went to New York by her self. Then she went down to Bosten, too. Which is really, really spiffy. I don't think I would have done that. I mean, I love going places, but if I'm going to be staying across the country I'd rather have a friend with me.

Funny thing is, I'd go to Japan by myself.

Anywho, what else can we talk about? I have a side game of spider solitare going, that's keeping me entertained.

Oh yeah, the cats! Do you know I have two cats? If not, you do now. Pepper and Neko. Both black, both adorable. Neko is mine. We got her as a kitten, she was so cute. Anyway, we also have four dogs, two birds, and some-odd fish. Don't you think that's enough? Well, my mom, being the intelligent person that she is, went to the pound. I'm not sure why, she probably had a legit reason, licence or something, but she's not supposed to go. This lady, I don't really know much about her, was outside the pound just balling, crying her eyes out. The lady was holding two cats, and my mom asked what was wrong and the lady said that she had to give up the two cats, and that she'd had them since they were kittens, and that she was just sad/worried. Of course my mom took pitty, and we now have two orange cats in our living room, Mario and Garfield, who are lovely animals, but we really don't need them. Do you want two cats? They're nice, potty trained, brothers, grew up together... yeah. Great cats. They'd be even better if they lived with you.

Or you can take two dogs and I'd keep the cats. Except which dog would I get rid of? Ack! I love all my animals. That's why I don't go near the pound! I don't need to get attached to some poor, doomed beast with puppy dog eyes and an adorable grin. Alas! What's a girl to do? How about pet the cats and cuddle with 'em. They're nice cuddlers. Damnit. Next thing you know I won't want to get rid of them. >.< ack.

Speaking of animals, I have to let the dogs in. BRB.

NM, my sister's going to do it. Go Patricia. But on a side note, just getting up made me sore. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING! and therefore, not a complaint. It means I'm working really hard. I mean, really hard. I went to physical theropy today and the lady showed me some neat exersizes I can do for my arms, and some new pushup stuff. So now I get to try it. Plus I've been treading my heart out the last few days. I can feel myself getting stronger, and I love it. I really do. Now if I could only put that to use... but we're not going there.

Um... another note, that I won't expand on, my mom and I are almost fighting again. Not quite, but we're getting close.

On a happier note: two months and two days until I'm 18. Three days later and I graduate. Three months later and I move out. Holy s**t, I'm almost ready to move out. I wish I could take Maude with me, she doesn't have that luck. She can't work or go to school because of her conditions, so she's relying on her parents. It's... frustrating for her. Maybe some day I can help, but not yet. It's a goal to strive for.

I have to go shoping for a prom dress. I saw this buetiful dress at Macy's while I was up in seatle. It was a deep purple plum color, absolutely gorgeous, and everything I ever wanted in a dress. It was also $300. Seeing the price tag I knew it was my dress. Of course I would want one of the most expensive dresses there. *sighs wistfully* alas, it cannot be mine. I'll have to find something else. Unfortunately that will require going somewhere with my mom. Maybe I'll do that soon. This weekend? I could drag Maude up to Seattle with me and mum this weekend. 'Twould be fun. Maybe Mum would give us some space. Maybe not. God, who knows? It would be fun.

Oh, I said "We should hang out with some of the guys on Friday," to her before I hung up the phone over at the game. I left the pool and went outside after the varsity game for a few different reasons. Called Maude up. But to that comment I added, "But not Austin." She asked why not Austin. I have a few reasons for that... but right now I'm actually not certain what they are. I'll mention it after this. Catch line though, "Oh, well, we could hang out with Austin if Ian's invited." If you know everyone you might get this. Ian's dating Austin's ex. Ian really doesn't Like Austin. Ian scares Austin. I've never seen the two together, but I think it would be fun. Maude laughed at the idea, and then couldn't figure out if that was a bad thing. I decided it wasn't, because it made both of us laugh really hard on a shitty night, so it was very, very good.

Now, I don't really like Austin. I really don't. Austin has done really bad things to Maude, and other girls, and other friends. Austin has treated me like s**t (I prolly deserved it) and treated Maude worse (sometimes she may have deserved it) but over all, he's not a good person. Right now I can't make myself get mad at him. I just can't. He's done a couple of things really right. You know how sometimes there's just this one thing a person could do that would make everything in the world better? And if they did that one thing you could just be happy for awhile. Even though they've really hurt you in the past and they really screwed things up, you could forgive them. Austin hit that mark twice in as many weeks. And even though I don't like the guy, I'll give him credit when it's deserved.

Ian and his girl friend Jesica were in the school newspaper with a story on long-term relationships. They're approaching a year now. Didn't realize that, but congrats to Ian and Jessica. (Honestly, they broke up at one point, so I don't know if it counts as a year... because for a time they weren't together, but that wasn't too long. Ian never told me exactly how long it was.)

Did I tell you about Ian's B-day present? His birthday was over spring break, and it turned out to be a nice one. I hung out with him and Jessica the day before (might I say now that it was very odd. While I'd never date Ian, it's fun to flirt, and you can't really do that with the girl-friend in the room) and gave him this toy gun I picked up from the dolar store. I heard a few days later that his mom, who actually likes me quite a bit, was about ready to kill me. You see this gun makes a noise when you fire it, and Ian loves playing with his toys. ^_^ anywho, he likes it so I'll mark it down as a good gift choice. Also, on his B-day he went to court to argue a ticket he recieved. He ended up getting it knocked down over $500. I think I wrote that in an entry at some point... don't know for sure. If I'm repeating myself, forgive me.

Tomorrow's survivor night. I missed the last two because of sixth grade camp and journalism, but tomorrow me and Tim will be hanging out with a brand new container of survivor pringles. Yes, we're dorks, but we enjoy the show, and we'll get a kick out of the trivia as we chow down! Also next week is a new episode of Gilmore Girls, I'm stoked. Those are my only two TV shows these days, and I really get into them. I got my friend Justin to watch one once, but he didn't really like it. I must say it wasn't the best episode to introduce someone to the show on. And sometimes you just have to get to know the charectors. Like, would you really care that Luke and Loreli were dating if you hadn't been there for the three years that they weren't? *shrugs* It's a nice time for me.

I miss Buffy. Even the last season I liked. The third is still my favorite, though. Well... I really liked the fifth, too. The fourth was my least favorite... okay, again with Justin, but he once watched the last episode of Buffy's third season, trying to see why I liked it or some such thing, and mistaked it for the last episode. Which is kind of amusing, I guess, if you're me. *shrugs* I've already admitted to being a dork, so it's okay. But anywho, I don't think there was a point to that. Aw well, I'm not going to erase it so let's just plunge ahead. Back to I miss Buffy. It was just a TV show that I related to and enjoyed. I loved the charectors, and even the story. Again, with the exception of season four. Honestly I never got into Riley, and I'm glad that he went away. Spike I liked, Angel I tolerated. You know I like a series if I go off and write a fanfiction based off of it. I actually have to work on that story... need to print of chapter five... I need this thing you can plug into the computer (forget what everything's called. I'm not good with terminoligy, but I actually understand a lot when other people are saying it. That's what I get for having a dad who teaches computer programing, anywho smile then save things to it, then plug it into a different computer and open it up. Not a disc, my lap top doesn't have a disc drive, and I don't have the correct CDs to use for that. I'm considering just getting a bloody adaptor disc drive thing, but they're like $50-60. And I don't have a job, that's why I applied for one.

Oh, I wore high heals today! I don't know the last time I wore heals over an inch, I don't know the last time I wore inch heals. I now know why I've avoided it for so long. Dang those things can hurt! And walking downstairs was droublsome. Upstairs was fine, but downstairs had some odd angle with the foot that it through me off balance. But they were like boots, and I think maybe 3-4 inch heals. Very interesting. But I had that interview. They were the only nice black shoes that I had that would keep my feet warm. I was wereing a skirt, so I figured "hey, I'm going to be freezing if I don't keep my feet warm, and it won't hurt that bad. Not to mention I might just look good." So I put up with it. My feet stayed warm. And they're not too sore (yay!). I did look good. Thanks again to Maude for helping with the outfit! I'll pay you back some how! Not sure how, but damnit, I'll do it. It's just a black skirt with this black shirt with a swirlly green design, but it's nice clothes, not something causual, and it's comfortable, and I look good it in. So yay.

Oh, and thanks to the weather for not raining! Or for not being that cold! You could have butchered me, but you were nice *huggles weather* thanks! It was also nice when we were up in Seattle. We'd been raining every day the week before, and the next two days after the convention, but that weekend there were naught more than a few scarce drops.

Mario's prowling about the scattered papers on the floor. He's so cute. See, I'm begining to like the cats already! I really like orange cats. If I didn't get a black one I'd get an orange one. Except I'd name it "cat." Just plain "cat." Why? Because I read a book once where this orange cat was named cat. Okay, I might get original. Well, not original... but I once saw this scruffy orange cat with an ear half torn off and one eye was dark like a patch and it looked mean and had some long hair, and just was gruff. It reminded me of a pirate. I'd give it a pirate's name. Prolly something from Pirates of the Caribean. Which I no longer this is as good of a movie as I once did, but I still like it. I was asked what my favorite movie was the other day, and I didn't know. I know there are some that I like. ea: big fish, fight club, donnie darco, pitch black... and many more. I just can't remember most of them at the time. If you narrowed it to a genre I'd be able to come up with more. The other day I wanted to see Pratical Magic again. Not sure why, just felt like watching it. I remember the general story, but not many of the details. Hmm... Movie that made me cry the most: Hope Floats. Gah, that movie was sad. Tore at some things in my life I didn't want to touch on. I liked the Incredibles, that was spiffy. I liked Finding Nemo. Pixar just makes good movies, don't they? Saw Constantine awhile ago... there were some good one liners, but the movie itself I didn't like. I like the Mummy. Dunno why, just like it. The mummy and the Mummy Returns. Socorpian king sucked, though. What do you expect? The Rock was the main charector. I didn't like the Pacifier. Promoted too much violence and didn't live up to it's potential commedy wise.

Books... Gah, I read this horrible one by an author who wrote Hawk Song, I may have mentioned it in my last post. But it sucked, a lot. I've labeled it as possibly the worst book I've ever read. I read A Great and Terrible Beauty while I was in Seattle. Good book. I don't know what category it would live in, in the back there's a Q and A section with the author where the lady asks if it's "chick lit," which is a term I like. The author didn't like it, but I do. It's better than "girl books." The author brought up the point that you wouldn't call the work of John Updike and Philip roth "old white guy lit." (Two things: yes, I copied that out of the book. I don't actually know who they are. And second: I probably would call that old white guy lit. I like the name, I just might use it.)

I actually have to go do things. *shrugs* Don't want, just have to. Aw well. Could be worse, eh? I need to do my push ups and go to bed. I did some push ups at the theorpy place, but not 20 all together. I think I only did 17. Ten with my hand on this ball, and seven with this really funny motion in between, which almost through me off balance because I was in slick dress socks. I brought a change of clothes for when I did my stuff (because working out in dress clothes would be weird) but I didn't think about socks. Eventually I just walked barefoot. *shrugs* It works.

I'm looking foward to Friday. I want another break. I want to hang out with friends. I want to do something fun and time consuming and... I don't know. Out of the ordinary. I just want to do something. The story of my life.

Then, of course, I get swamped, and for some reason it's not what I wanted.

That inspires so many different cliches. I'm gonna let you think up your own for it.

But good night faithful readers. Will I get 9 again? In case you forgot, this is when you go and post a reply. 3nodding Because you love me and think I'm a wonderful person. 3nodding Or if not, to tell me that you don't love me and you think I'm a horrible person. xp Or make up something else! eek Oh, the possibilities!

^_^ ttyl
Aul

Edit: We're up to 11 viewings on my last journal entry