I guess I can be considered back on Gaia now... maybe... but I just don't have the same spirit I used to. It's okay... but I just don't care anymore. That which drove me into this state remains blissfully unaware, and I'm perfectly happy to keep things that way.
While on the retreat, I wrote a letter with all of my feelings written on it, then burned it with a match at the beach. I felt better afterwards... and it didn't hurt when I chatted last night.
However, the pain returned after Annie told me about her... interesting... weekend here in Corvallis while I was away. *Case #1, if anyone was keeping track*. Even after we both agreed that we didn't want to get involved in men because of how we had been hurt by them... but she's also a sex-crazed fiend and she freely admits it, so it's okie.
Geez... knew each other for only a week, and then did it?... gah.
Either way... my ex, Matt, has been talking to me A LOT lately. ._.; It makes me nervous. I don't want to talk to him, but as I said before, I'm too nice to block anyone off of my AIM list... the way he keeps talking to me, I'm getting the impression he wants to get back together with me, but I don't intend on giving him that opportunity either.
Oh well.. back to pretending things are okie when all I want to do is cry into a pillow and never come back to the place that has given me so much pain... as well as so much happiness...
Or perhaps that just means I shouldn't be on so often. Cara mentioned that people asked about me though. Why would people care?... ._.; I'm so confused...
Quote: When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me...
 Aquafire · Tue Oct 19, 2004 @ 08:43am · 0 Comments |
