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Summer break.. I nothing better to do..
So I do what? Post here.

I have a live journal.. thats all else I will tell. My secrets are there. I was going to cover them all up... But I only got through half of it since I had already made so many. I just gave up. Go ahead, look for my secrets.. I kind of want them to be out anyways. But I'll never tell. I don't need to concern others with my problems.
(shut up)
I don't have problems..
You don't have problems..
Do we need to know those problems..
I want to help you.
But I dont know how.
I never know how.
The way my words are written(typed you fool)... Thats how I wish I could talk. I wish I could flow just like my mind does. My mind flows as a large river, high on top of my body, and it seems to end in a water fall.. a water fall that falls in a secret lagoon. I don't know where that lagoon goes, maybe there is a secret under water cavern which empties into words. It is special just to have the water fall.. some people have water falls, others just flow regularly into the ocean of the world of communication. But my waterfall goes to that lagoon which is hard to be found. The water fall doesn't go out of my mouth. Did nature make my waterfall flow this way? Or perhaps (hu)man interferred? broke my land?
The way these words are set up represent my thoughts, and the thought process.
I'm thinking.. but I want others to know.. I wish I knew they knew. I don't know alot.. atleast..
I actually know much..
I don't know if I know much.
I don't know if people know that I know... Or I don't know.. I don't know what I know do I?
I know...
I know not human behavior.. atleast what I call human.. I don't call myself human.. There are many others I don't call human.
Do I confuse you?
I am confused too.
Is this babbling annoying? Can you keep reading?
I'm sorry..

Is it harder than I thought.. or am I just weak?
I..
I am asking myself many questions.
Why?
I don't know.. but what would I do if I knew?
I want to know, how accomplished I've become.
I hear stories of so many great accomplishers. How do they do it? Where do they have the time to do it? I'm too slow?
I want to know what others think of me.
And what do they know of me?
Outside and Inside (blue his house with the blue little window..) Shut up.
how often have you told yourself to shut up? I'd like to know.
Am I appreciated? Have I helped you live in any way? Basically it means have I made you happy to keep you away from death just a bit more?
Do I look like something is wrong with me? People seem to ask if I have a problem.
I don't think I have a problem. I don't need to concern them with a problem. I don't have a problem with what I am.. its not hurting me. Atleast..
I don't think it is.
Do I look suicidal? Do I look homicidal? What was your thought when you saw me?
You start to think you know more when you listen to lyrics and knowing what they could mean.. But that artist doesn't know you, they'll not meet you. They wont care will they? They shouldn't have too. We shouldn't be concerned on a personal problem.
Wouldn't it be nice though?
I don't listen to the lyrics though.. I don't even hear the words.. Almost never. I just move to the music. Balance of the beat. I've made my own religion which I can't explain to anyone. You experience it, you grow it.. But one thing I can tell you is..
Realize.
Realize what you have. Realize what you have.
REALLY
Do it.
Are you listening yet? (You aren't speaking) Shut up.
You should be happy. There, see, you smiled. Atleast...
Is there a poem in here? A book? There goes another question. A song?
You're crazy...
I've been told about myself before. By Adriana.. I think I've asked twice. But for some reason I wasn't satisfied. Was something being kept from me?
What are my flaws? Talk to me behind my back. I think you are...kind for not concerning me with my problems.. WE are all secretive.. to me. shut up don't further keep the privacy why dont you.

It got confusing again.
I think I wrote confusing early with a z.
That was wrong., I'm sorry.
There are faces write next to where I am writting. They keep twitch, smiling, bouncing up and down.. stop it.
Damn emoticons. Don't you know I'm trying to write my
message
emotions
thoughts
..blank..
?

Confused again aye?
Don't worry I am too.

I like to dance.
i don't often show it. I would like too.. but I am embarrassed or something like that.
I know.
I want to dance. I want you to join. But you can watch.. but you must also sway atleast.
Yes. I smiled. At myself.. Now I'm smilimg more.. I'm making myself smile. I am crazy.. and thats why I am smiling. Because I think I'm just a bit insane.
As my fingers dance on this keyboard. I don't even have to look. Its nice sound I think.. as long as there are other musics in the background. The tv is on with music. Thats more than fine. The typing is just a percussion instrument. Dance to make a sound... Doesn't happen much. Its the music which provokes the dancing.

I wonder if they already knew them.

I wont be updating this so often..and posts wont be this gigantic.

I like this picture.

I think I am done typing for now.
I liked the waterfalls (thats right.. go end it with a face you crazy fool) rofl