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without fail every year i end up breaking an ornament. but not just any ornament. but one that is special to my mother. its weird cause out of everyone in my family i am the least klutzie, accident prone, or careless. but its always me....
so i was taking off the ornaments and putting them into a little box. then i was messing with the lights and while i was doing that they lights lightly bumped the box with the ornaments in it. that caused one to fall out and land on out carpet. now the box was on the floor and the fall wasnt far at all. it shouldn't have broken. but it did! so the first thing that popped out of my mouth was "oh hell!" this is bad cause my family hate cussing and grounds us for little things...and all my siblings were in the room with me. so then i looked and it was my moms favorite one! of course! it was old and it was made by her little brother (who is dead) and they were very close...so it was bad and i knew she was going to be pissed. so she and my dad come into the room and see the thing in pieces all over the floor. i told them i was very sorry and stuff. my mom had the worsted look on her face...like i cant describe. it was like she was in pain and pissed and trying to stay calm...i dont know. but it was bad.
so after her making me feel worse and then leaving the room while i cleaned up. she came back and tried to be positive. i didnt get in trouble...why? i have no clue. maybe it was how i looked when i told her i was sorry (cause i really was. most times when i say sorry to her i dont mean it ha) but yeah....i thought about it like this...i have this shoe and on th tip of it (its a converse shoe) is a symbol. that symbol was written on there by the man im in love with. if someone were to say catch the shoe on fire or something that would mess up the writing i would die inside. thats the only thing i have from him and he is gone now so it would hurt like hell to lose that....
and so i really feel bad this time. i dont know what i can do to make it better. probably nothing. but i mean...i want to this time. for some reason unknown to me i feel bad. me and my mom arent close and i usually dont give a damn if i hurt her. but this time i do....damn soul lol. but yeah i dont know....
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